Sunday, November 30, 2008

Inspiration from...reality tv?

Have you seen the new reality series Ruby on Style Network? I was skeptical...I really don't like reality shows in general. But this one has drawn me in.

For those of you who haven't watched, Ruby Gettinger is a woman living in Savannah, Georgia. She's very pretty, very southern, and very heavy. Ruby weighed almost 500 pounds when she started this series. She has assembled a team (with the help of the network, I'm sure) that consists of a nutritionist, a psychiatrist, an obesity specialist, a personal trainer and her family doctor. Ruby received a wake up call when her doctors told her she was going to die if she didn't take care better care of her health.

Ruby struggles. Although she is handed prepared meals and has a trainer and etc., she struggles. And she is honest about that struggle. In a recent episode, she went to a pizza place with her friends, and you could see how hard it was for her to ask them to heat up her meal, and not order just one slice of pizza. In the same episode, she ordered a smoothie, and even though she justified that she was allowed several snacks a day, she still didn't finish the smoothie. Determination is there, and she allows everyone to see her struggle, her weak moments. It truly is inspirational to watch.

I have a very good friend that has struggled with her weight all her life. I have been angry for her many times since I met her. I hate when people say "she could be a beautiful person if she would just lose the weight." "Maybe she just needs to eat better." The list could go on. She is beautiful, just the way she is. She is stylish, put together. And she is an awesome friend (and godmother). She doesn't eat any worse than most people...sure she eats ice cream or chips sometimes, but she also eats veggies and lean meats. For some reason, she is heavy. That shouldn't make her an object of pity or scorn, and most of the time, she is able to ignore those who would detract from her.

I have also struggled with my weight...I was always 20 pounds heavier than I should be. I'm a relatively active individual...I don't sit on my butt watching TV for hours on end. I walk, I play with my kids, I mow the grass, I clean my house. But I can never seem to fit exercise into my day. I eat pretty healthy, and I've tried Weight Watchers, several times. I might lose a little weight, but nothing major. I know how to eat. I know I need to exercise. What I don't know is how to cram more into the 24 hours I've been given. I'm going to work on that. I may not get it in gear before Christmas, but after...I'm going full force.

And that time thing? It's just an excuse, just me finding yet another reason to not do what I know I need to do. Over a year ago, Heather at OMSH wrote a great post about the struggle to lose weight. She broke it down to us in realistic words...we are selfish brats. These paragraphs have remained with me since I read them almost 15 months ago.
If you, like me, have managed to find an amazing man to love, marry and bear children with, you are being selfish by being obese. If you, like me, have children who love and depend on you, you are being selfish by being obese. If you, like me, have immediate and extended family that loves you, you are selfish for being obese.

It is selfish. It is choosing sugar in my coffee over the possibility of seeing my grandchildren. It is choosing “just one more bite” over being able to have monkey sex with my husband (you can’t erotically swing from chandeliers if you are obese). It is choosing ROUTE 44 SONIC CHERRY COKES over being able to participate in your child’s Fun Run, Jump Rope for Heart, Turkey Trot, Track ‘n Field.

IT IS CHOOSING YOURSELF OVER EVERYTHING ELSE.

I am lucky...I fell in love and married a man who loves me. He loves me just the way I am...unconditionally. And for the most part, I am happy in my life. But this one thing, this "beast" as Ruby calls it, has defeated me. And I'm tired of being defeated.

I am tired, but I'm also realistic. It's the HOLIDAYS. I can not avoid food for the next month. But I can make an effort to counteract the junk food that is available. I can pack my lunch (which saves money as well, so it's a win/win!). I can make healthy meals for my kids and I. I can skip the evening snack. I can drink less tea, continue reducing the amount of sugar I put in the pitcher. I can say no to soda, no to the cookies and cakes and candy that lay around this time of year. I can do it. And it's time I start.

So, I'm going to start keeping track. And I'm going to report to you all. At least once a week, I'm going to report how selfish I've been. It's time to stop being so selfish.

And thank goodness, it's the end of NaBloPoMo. And only one month of Blog 365. I think I might have missed a few days in September, but I really have almost posted all 365 days. Go me.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thrifty Christmas

The Monster is spending the night with his cousin tonight, so PB is getting some one on one mama time. That doesn't happen so much anymore, so it's nice. We're going to work on finishing up the ornaments for Daddy's unit.

I have so many projects to work on in the next couple of weeks. I'm really relying on my craftiness for Christmas this year. My list of things to make is long, and I've started to make a dent, but wow am I going to be busy for the next month.

I have 9 fleece blankets and matching pillows to make. (I have 6 cut and 5 tied.) I have coasters to make, a few aprons, Christmas Cards to finish, calendars to complete, a knight's tunic to make, pj bottoms, Chef's hats and apron sets for the kids, a couple of purses to put together...and who knows what else.

I also have to coordinate the shopping for both Monster's birthday in two weeks, and Christmas for the kids. I have to mail out DDS' package this week. This is all in addition to the usual work, housework, and activity schedule. Time for sleep...who needs that?

I'm off to spend some quality time with my girl.

Friday, November 28, 2008

busy, busy, so dreadfully busy

So how was your Black Friday? Did you hit the sales? This is the first year in 6 that I didn't go out and get the majority of the shopping done. 6 years ago, I was pregnant with the Monster, and knew he was coming in the next 2 weeks. We had a place for the other two kidlins to hang while we shopped, so off we went. Not at 4 am, more like 8 am...I am not a glutton for punishment.

This year, I am broke. Deployment is exepensive..all that extra money? It doesn't come until next month, and the hubs has been spending it already. So I have to go get a few things for Monsters birthday next weekend, but Christmas shopping is going to have to wait until closer to Christmas.

However, I did hit Joann Fabrics for their sale this morning. I bought over $400 worth of material and supplies for $120 and I have presents for more than 10 people...good presents. So that's what I've been doing all day. Sewing. I'm getting kind of tired of looking at material now. Luckily my mom has been around helping me out.

There are two sweet little kidlins in my bed, sound asleep. I think I'm about to go join them.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you and yours are enjoying your family today. Although I try to be thankful every day, today I'm really trying to focus on those things. I hope you have many blessings.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Shots! and a movie.

I had the day off today, as did the children, so I scheduled their well child visits for today. This visit included the flu shot and a TB test. Neither of my babies are very good about getting shots, but I had mentioned it to PB a couple of weeks ago. As I was tucking them in last night, I mentioned that after their appointment, we would go to the mall and have Chic-Fil-A for lunch and then go see HSM3 at the movie theater. This was met with much rejoicing.

So the doctor comes in, checks them out, chats with us, asks how PB has been doing after the earlier bout with Lyme's Disease, etc. Then she leaves, letting us know the nurse would be right back in. The nurse comes in, and PB hides in the corner. I have Monster sitting on the bed, and I hug him tight. The nurse has to struggle a little and he is crying so hard. She gets both needles done, and he just keeps sobbing. I haven't heard him cry this hard in a very long time. The nurse corners PB (literally...lol) and talks to her about being a big girl while I deal with Monster. I get him to sit down, load her up on the table, turn her head the other way, and a few tears later we are all done. I grab Monster back up (he's almost 50 pounds, and I can still carry him around. How do I not have arms of steel?) and try to sign the paper. I'm then informed we have to come back Friday morning to have their TB tests read. ARGHHH. Shouldn't you have mentioned that before, to make sure we could make it in? Since not going in means they have to get a needle again, I will make it work, but still.

Monster cried unil he was in the car, and then I was able to get him to laugh. He still whined a bit here and there, but then there was Chicken Nuggets and Fruit and Root beer, then popcorn and some chocolate. All was okay again, and I was his number one love again.

PB enjoyed the movie, and it was exactly what I thought it would be. Monster enjoyed the dance/music scenes, but mostly was bored (which is funny, because he loves the other two.) The time with my kids cuddling on either side of me? Priceless and worth the gold I had to sell to afford the movie.

Now they are spending the night with my mom, and I'm enjoying being totally alone. Ahhh.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Goodness

Today, I'm counting the blessings I've had today. Today was the equivalent of Friday...no school or work until next Monday. PB didn't get her lesson, but she got to visit the pony and comb him. Monster got a strip for his belt, and had a great class with only one other kidlin there with him. We had yummy (and easy to make) spaghetti for dinner, the kids watched the Grinch, and I GOT TO TALK TO MY HUNNY! Yay.

Now I'm off to sleep as I'm passing out sitting here.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Fun Monday, High on Life

Mariposa has stepped up again to host our Fun Monday this week!

High moments...in our lives! If you could share to us 3-5 high moments in
your lives...this could be funny moments...the you can't believe you did it
moments...the "I told you so" moments...or the times we asked the ground to go
open and eat us moments! You need not write a book to explain them, the
highlights will do.



Wow, this is kind of tough.

My wedding had a lot of those funny moments. Both DDS and I caught some sort of stomach bug the night before, and in two different locations we both started praying to the porcelain god at 4 am. Our wedding took place at 4 pm. We were feeling better by then, but weak. I made arrangements for someone to have some candy to give me in case I felt faint. Less than 5 minutes into the ceremony, I felt faint. No one would hand me the candy. They brought me a folding chair, a program, a wet cloth. My husband and best man brought the unity candle to me. It was like a comedy...all I could do was laugh. We even had to sit on a piano bench for our receiving line. Everyone thought we were just nervous, but really, we were sick.

That's all I have at the moment. I'll come back to edit if I think of more.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The cutest little white belt, hands down.

I'm finally getting the planets aligned to write the Martial Arts post.  Yay Me!
So Monster decided that he wanted to learn Martial Arts.  This is something DDS and I have thought about enrolling for a year or so now.  We wanted him to learn the self control and have an outlet for some energy, but we were worried that it would just be another way to harm us.  I finally think he is old enough to understand the difference.  I asked around to several people I knew that had children or themselves enrolled, and found a school with good references.  He had his first of two private classes on Tuesday night, and the second on Wednesday night.  These classes allow the staff to determine where the kids are, and how well they will handle the classes.  He was so excited, he was literally vibrating.  He couldn't stand still.  He listened well and really comprehended and learned the movements.  But he didn't ge his belt the first night, and he was a little disappointed with that.
So, we went back the second night, and mama remembered the camera the second time.  OMG, I love that boy in his little uniform.  He's so stinkin CUTE! 
He was vibrating again, and he remembered the bows, and the moves.
At the end of the lesson, he had to break his first board. 
And may I introduce to you...the newest white belt.
I really want to eat him up.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Today seemed to be designed to remind me that there are Holidays coming and soon. 

Last night it snowed.  It doesn't do that in Delaware in November. 

I went to the commissary for my every other week grocery shopping.  OMG.  I forgot it was Thanksgiving next week, and it was totally crazy.  I just wanted to cry and run screaming from the store, but unfortunately, we need food so we can eat.

After we managed to escape and get the groceries put away, we headed out to the Festival of Trees with my mom, stepdad and grandma.  It was okay...we did get a good picture of my kidlins with Santa.  We had lunch a the buffet there, which was a treat for my kidlins.  Then we headed to my grandma's place to decorate her tree.  She had asked for the kids to help her (translate into actually do all of) decorate her tree.  So we did that.  Then we came home, rested a bit, had a light dinner, and tucked them into bed.  It's been a long day, and I have a bit of cleaning to do now.  Yawn.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Things that bug me.

I know...a list.  Yuck.  Too bad. 

1. I wanted to write a post about Monster's first/second Martial Arts Class, but my camera is downstairs and I'm not.  It will have to wait until tomorrow.

2. That when my husband calls, I have so much to tell him, but all of it seems too trivial...or it's a surprise (we bought Christmas and birthday gifts today.)

3.  That they build all of the necessary stages and such for the Inaugaration from scratch.  All that lumber, all that money.  What a waste.

4. That it will cost the Obama's more than I make in a year to send their children to the private school in Washington.  I get that Public Schools probably can't handle the publicity.  But seriously...almost $60,000 a year for these girls to go to school.  Most colleges aren't even that expensive.

There's a lot more, but these are the most recent ones. 

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Nothing ever goes right when you're dealing with the military

My husband called me at 5:30 last night to tell me that he had landed in Maine.  He was supposed to be there for an hour or so and then move on to the next stop.  We headed out of Monster's martial arts class (post is coming soon...that's tomorrow's topic), dropped him off to his uncle, picked up PB and took her to the YA performance.  It was a very good show, but it ran a little late for a school night.  When it finally ended around 9:30, I looked down and found a message on my cell phone.  From my husband.  The one that wasn't even supposed to be in country any more.  His plane broke and they were still stuck in Maine.  They could be there all night.  At 12:30 last night, he called to tell me that they finally checked them into a hotel for the night.  Talk about anti-climatic.  How many times can you have your last conversation for a couple of weeks in one day.  Apparently, several.

He moved onto his next stop today.  I knew that contact would be limited over the next several weeks, so all I asked him was to let me know he got there okay if the opportunity arrived.  Another wife called that I'm friends with called tonight to let me know that they had landed at the next destination, and that he missed me and loved me.  They have a special calling plan as she has family in another country, so her soldier was able to call her.  It was a wonderful gesture...a gesture that a loving husband gives to show that he loves his wife.

Happy Love Thursday.  Absence does make the heart grow fonder...and mine was pretty fond to begin with.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'll take "This person is an emotional mess" for $1000, Alex.

My hubby is on his way to Kuwait. There's so much that sentence doesn't say. It doesn't say that going to Kuwait is one step away from Hell for him. That for the next 2-3 weeks, we won't have much if any contact with him. The Holidays are arriving, and I'm not sure what I'm going to send to him, if it's going to get there. And his birthday is two days after Christmas, so I have to make sure that is ready as well. And this week, I've given myself permission to wallow in the depression some. I've allowed myself a couple of times to think about how very long the next 9 months will be. How much he is going to miss...how much we are going to miss. And it makes me sad, makes me angry.

PB is participating in a Young Americans workshop at the high school this week. Bug would have been able to participate if she had stayed here for the school year. This is not an event that happens often, so she probably won't have another shot at it. Monday night was the first session, and we had to bring the kids dinner for their break. I was there a little bit early, so I was able to sit in the audience and watch as the small groups joined into a big group and showed off what they learned. I sat there pretty much sobbing. Oh, I always cry a little when I go to one of the kids concerts...choir, band, school, whatever...Childbirth made me an emotional crazy woman. But those are just the normal little sniffly tears. This was full blown ugly cry (but quietly) and I was mortified. But I couldn't even talk...all I could do was sit and cry and hope no one was watching. I watched as Bug's friends and her sister stood on the stage singing...watched as they laughed and had a good time. And I ached for her. I was so sad that she was missing out on this experience. I was sad that my husband wasn't here to watch, to enjoy. That he isn't going to watch the show tonight.

Monster started Martial Arts last night. Another moment of emotion.

I'm still sad today. The alarm company had to send someone to fix one of our alarm sensors, and I think it's Gods way of making sure that I stayed home this morning. Because I am an emotionl mess this morning. I spent a good chunk of time on the phone with him this morning, as he rode the bus to the airport. Knowing that this could be the last chance I have to talk to him for weeks. Not having much to say, but not wanting to disconnect.

I know that it will get better. We have things to do, things to prepare to help pass the time. And I know that I have to allow myself the chance to feel and work through these emotions.

And for $1000, the "answer" the title? That would be "who is mamalang?"

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm over at my new digs, too!

I started a review blog...why? Because sometime I want to post about some cool things, and I don't want to have to worry about my Blogher ads contract...and why not? Come on over and check it out!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Fun Monday - Talismans

Margaret from M is for Misanthrope is our hostess this week, and our assignment is:
Do you have a piece of jewelry or other item that holds great personal significance for you, and that you wear or keep with you every day? Show us a photo of your talisman, and tell us why it is so important to you.
I have a note that my husband wrote to me several years ago on a small hotel pad that I carry with my in my purse.  Everytime I touch/see it, it reminds me that he loves me.  I also have two cards that he gave me with flowers that help me remember where we've been and how we've come through.  The first card says "things will be better, Our cars may be broke, our house may be broke and we may be broke, but our love will never break."  That card was accurate...it was all broken.  Several years later, he sent me flowers again, and this card says "Once I told you that we might have been broke, not anymore, Our house was broke, not anymore, our cars were broke, not anymore, Last but not least, I love you, not any less but more and more every day."  Next to that is a series of pictures of us when we were engaged.  We were young, and broke, but we definitely had love.  And still do.

I miss you honey.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

This is why I don't watch television very often

Somehow I landed on VH1 this evening, and the show Rock of Love Charm School.  It really is like watching a train wreck.  I can't stop.  And I'm glad that I know better.  After that, it was the Pick Up Aritist.  Okay, that show is just plain stupid.  I'm not even continuing past the 15 minute mark.  They have names for al these pick up moves, so they can sit and talk in code.  They try to make it sound so important and it sounds so stupid instead.

Seriously, what is up with all the lame reality television nowadays?  Is there a lack of creative screenwriters now?  What happened to good ol videos?  Remember Pop Up Video?  Behind the Music?  Shows that you actually sort of cared about watching as a brain suck?  No more. 

Saturday, November 15, 2008

pause

This is hubbies last night home, so I'm not posting much.  I have lots of thoughts to share, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Feeling crafty?

I found this site through a series of clicks from somewhere, but I've found I love it.  You Can Make This is a fun site with lots of great ideas, some free and some part of inexpensive download e-books.  They've offered a free doll skirt pattern, in return they just ask that you make one or more to donate to Toys for Tots.  Because after all, what fun is a doll that you can't change?  Check it out. 

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Horseback lesson one

So as I mentioned the other day, Tuesday was Princess Bear's first horseback riding lesson.  It was awesome.  The owner/instructor has a son Monster's age, and they made fast friends. 
We met Napoleon the pony when we visited last week.  This is "her" pony for lessons.
Isn't he just so sweet?
The instructor explained that when you are learning to ride, you shouldn't try and ride any horse who's back is taller than your shoulders.  So all of her kids learn to ride on a pony.  Next, PB learned how to groom her pony to prepare him for a saddle.  Her instructor explained what they different brushes did, and why it was important.  They kept up a steady stream of chatter the whole time, and I saw her really taking the information in.
The she learned how to saddle him up, and led him out to the practice ring.  You have to walk before you ride, so that is what she did.
Doesn't she look so big?  And such a natural!
Now you climb up in the saddle and ride around a bit.  You have to learn how to control the horse, not just with your hands but also with your legs.  It also requires quite a bit of balance.
Then, to help with balance and learning how the horse moves, she to try a little bareback.
I can not stress how great I think this instructor was while working with PB.  She was patient, and explained they why behind what you do.  She helped PB learn to feel comfortable on the horse, and allowed her to slowly feel a little independence.  It really was a great lesson. 
Of course, I needed my inhaler by the time I got home.  I'm seriously thinking it's about time to go get the testing and see about shots.  Allergies to most animals sucks.
I'm really looking forward to next weeks lesson!  Maybe I'll remember my camera, so I don't have to take them with the crappy cell phone again!
Happy Love Thursday everyone.  I hope you and yours have found the things you love to do.

 

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I'm so excited, and I'm having a hard time hiding it.

My hubby is on his way home.  He should be here any minute.  I'm so ready to see him. I'm excited to see the kids faces when he wakes them back up to say hello.  I can't wait to crawl into bed with him and cuddle into his arms.  And so, the rest will have to wait.  I can't keep it to myself much longer...hopefully he's home soon.

I just had to come back and add a little note.  I'm watching the CMA's while I'm waiting, and the lady who just introduced Carrie Underwood?  The widow of a hero?  That made me bawl.  Not just cry, but bawl.  I'm so impressed and awed by her composure.  I had hard time listening to this song before this, but now I don't think I can do it without crying anytime soon.  The power of music is amazing.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I have a lot to talk about

But I just woke up in the chair with the computer on my lap.  Apparently all the fresh air today zapped me.  So I'm off to bed, and I'll have to tell you all about PB's first horseback riding lesson tomorrow.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Fun Monday - Veteran's Edition

Jan is our hostess this week, and her assignment takes into account Veteran's Day tomorrow.

Since Next Tuesday is Veterans Day, I thought it would be nice to salute our Veterans and show our appreciation. Photo requirement of something patriotic.
I am truly grateful for our all of our Veterans, but the citizen soldiers of the National Guard rank a little higher in my heart. I personally see the dedication that these soldiers bring to the Guard. They put in long hours when most people are off having fun. They sacrifice their jobs, their families, their hobbies to serve. They are frequently given old equipment and supplies, since they only use them once a month. Training for real world situations wasn't always available before deployments became the norm. They are looked down upon by many of their counterparts in the full time Army. To me though, they are the true heros.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Another frustrating day

This whole weekend has felt frustrating with my kids. I know that they need more sleep than they have gotten in the lst few days, and I'm trying to plan some early bedtimes over the next few nights. But the level of frustration was just too much tonight, and I spoke in that bad mommy tone for a short while. And I can sit here and justify it to myself. And I know it happens. But even as I was doing it, I was feeling like a heel. And I wanted to stop, but I couldn't get that 10 minutes I needed, as we were in the car. Once we were home, and they had time to romp in their rooms without me hearing them, I was in a little better frame of mind.

This sole caregiver thing is tough. I don't say single parent, as I am least blessed to still have the second income to help cover expenses. And I have wonderful family and friends that want to spend time with my kids, that want to help. But I've had a lot on my plate the last couple of weeks, and I feel like my kids have had a little too much time with those family members. They need me. And so, knowing I had to go to work today, I made plans for them to come with me, and watch a movie in the conference room on the wall. They enjoyed it, and they were pretty good. I'm hoping that this will be something they remember, and that this evening's outburst will be shortly forgotten.

It isn't just being the main care giver for the kids, but all the things that entails. I am the only one capable of taking out the trash, cooking dinner, helping Monster with his shower, washing, drying clothes. PB can help fold, and they both help put theirs away and help unload the dishwasher. It just gets tiring and time-consuming sometimes. I really would love for someone else to figure out what's for dinner for a few nights.

On top of all this, I'm frustrated again tonight with Bug's situation. Her mom can't afford to buy her a coat apparently. The child told me that the area they are in isn't as prosperous as ours (I really don't understand why this child thinks we live in the lap of luxury...seriously) and they are having some job issues right now, so they are looking into getting her a coat. This woman has barely contributed to the cost of raising this child for the last 8 years, and now she wants us to continue to pay for everything while she gets to make all the choices. And I feel stuck. I hate to know that the child is walking to and from school in the cold without a coat. No child should ever have to do that. But it pisses me off that it's just assumed that we will cough up the needed funds. So on that note, I'm off to push aside my anger and irritation, and see if I can cram this coat into one of those flat rate boxes. Wish me luck.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

linky time

My hubby is still in the states, and will be coming home for a short pass this week. We haven't told the kids, as he wants to totally surprise them. Luckily, they only have half days Thurs and Fri, so they'll get a large amount of time with him.

This homecoming is bittersweet for several reasons. It will be nice to see him, touch him, kiss him. But it will be for such a short time. And the kids seem to be settling in, and this will restart that process for them. And it's not for good. But I am trying to make it a relatively stress free, normal time for him. We may even start the house decorating outdoors for Christmas.

He's posted two poems he found and enjoyed over on his site. Stop by and say hi. He doesn't get to post often, but I know he would enjoy a visit from you.

Friday, November 07, 2008

handmade?

I know, everyone is feeling the crunch this year, and lots of people are looking for inexpensive items to make for Christmas. I am no exception, except this is my story every year.

I have a few ideas floating around in my head for the kids and my employees. But I'm looking for fresh ideas, things I can provide to other family members. Seen or thought of any interesting ideas lately?

Thursday, November 06, 2008

I'll Trade You

Do you have kids?  Have you been looking for ways to help them learn how wonderful the internet is?  How people you have never met in real life can become great friends?  Well, we have a swap for them.  Sign ups are going on now for the I'll Trade You Swap group over on Flickr.  It doesn't require a large amount of funds.  The suggested minimum is $10.  My kiddos participated in the Book Swap this summer, and they found it great fun.  It forced them to look at some genres they might not have otherwise.  Interested?  Let me know.  You have to be approved, to help maintain privacy for the kids.

I'll Trade You . . . Secret Santa Swap by the SmockLady, on flickr

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Post-Election Depression

So, it's the day after.  I've been trying to gather my thoughts all day, to evaluate this anxiety I feel.  Trying to find the words to say how I feel, why.  I'm not sure if I can.

First of all, if I hear one more person say that America has a new President today, I seriously might have to slap them.  We don't have a new President today.  We've elected a new President.  We have a President Elect.  He has a lot of work in front of him over the next 2 1/2 months.  The world is already watching.  But he isn't the President, yet.  Semantics, I know, but still.

That makes it sound like I am Pro McCain, and just sending out sour grapes.  That isn't the case at all.  I did vote for McCain.  It wasn't an easy decision for me, and my reasons are mine.  They are based on my life and what I feel.  It wasn't a whim, it wasn't a vote for more of the same.  As I said before, I didn't feel particularly strongly for either candidate.  My real choice would hav been a do over, but on a much shorter scale.

This whole election process started way too long ago.  It's been America's obsession for well over a year.  I'm tired of it.  I am afraid of what next year will bring.  I'm not full of hope, spouting rainbows and unicorns every where I go.  I worried that McCain would be more of the same, and it isn't working.  Big corporations should not be bailed out.  If you build a business, and you make bad business choices, you should not be rewarded for that, especially not using my money.  If you consumed too much trash, spending money you don't have...then I guess you need to learn your lesson.  Because of these choices, I am watching people that I love struggle to make it.  Decent, hardworking people just trying to keep it all going.  I worry that Obama will be too much change, too fast.  I worry that the world will want to test him...see how strong he is.  I worry that my husband may not have a job in 2 years.  That we will return to the state of the military we had back in 2001.  Not enough people, not enough equipment.  Part of the reason the war in Iraq costs so much is because Clinton didn't spend enough to keep equipment and personnel at the necessary levels.  When something does happen and we need to respond, there isn't enough.

I work for the State government.  We elected a new governor.  I think that he will be a good governor, and I don't fear for my job as I would have if his competitor had been elected.  But I know change will still come.  We are doing more with way less, just as every person is doing in their personal life.  Something will have to give eventually.

I am praying.  I am hoping that this will be a good thing for America.  If nothing else, I hope that the senseless name calling can stop.  I'm tired of people inferring that I am stupid or brain damaged, simply because I haven't become one of the many followers.

And the paper consumption will be reduced again, and the roadside signs will stop marring my view.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Fun Monday

Our assignment this week comes from Bee Dancing

I'm relatively new to blogging, & I'm sure this has come up before, but I'd really like to know WHY you blog. Tell me how you got started or why you got started and why you keep it up. Plus there's a photo requirement: Post a picture of the one person/place/thing that most symbolizes the town or area where you live.


I think I have posted this before, but basically, I was reading someone else's blog. I had to register to comment, and so I figured I'd give it a shot. Now I'm addicted. I'm working on updating this blog, and making it more interesting :)



This is our Legislative Mall. This picture was taken during my husbands deployment ceremony, so you can see secret service and various other security people hanging out. It isn't like tht any other day.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Saturday, November 01, 2008

November already?

Is it really November already? I can't believe how fast time is flying.

Monster had a soccer game this morning. Only one more and the season is over. After that, we went to teh big craft show that is always the first weekend in November here. It's a big deal around here. I managed to find gifts for my game night this month, so it was productive. When we got home, I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. Monster cuddled with me and watched a little tv. After that, we cuddled some more while I played a game on the computer. He likes to sit and watch me and help me. Eventually, I noticed he wasn't chatting and moving so much any more. He had passed out on my shoulder, and I couldn't move. Sleepy boy slept for an hour, and then he finally woke up so I could move. We made home made pizza, chatted with DDS on the webcam and hung out a bit more before bed. Now I need to go reset my clocks and head to bed myself. Too bad I'm not tired now...lol