Saturday, December 08, 2007

Random December Thoughts

It's December, which means I can safely talk about Christmas. I did some shopping Friday afternoon, and I've been up sewing some pj pants for my kiddies. It's 3:30 am, and I need to go to bed. I love the Holiday Season.


Wanna know what my kids favorite Christmas song is? Nope, not Frosty, not Santa Claus is Coming to Town, not even Jingle Bells. No old school classics for my babies. Are you ready for it? "Last Christmas" by Wham!. Yep, that's the favorite of all three. I'm so proud!


We had the first snowfall of the year earlier this week. I hate snow. It's great for the first few hours...then I have to go out and shovel and clear and it's no longer any fun. I hope it's all melted soon.


Heading off to bed, night!


Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Gather round children...

For I am going to post twice in three days. Scary, I know.

It's finally fall here. Crisp air, warm sweaters...oh wait, it's still a sauna in my office, so I have to dress for fall, with summer underneath. How hard is it really to regulate the temperature in an office building. Really, just one part...the rest of the building is comfortable. I guess I can say I really do work in the bowels of hell.

Went to Joann Fabrics today to buy some fall decorations for a game night I have this week. I looked at the calendar today, and it tells me we are still in the first week of November. Thanksgiving is several weeks away, Christmas almost 2 months away. Guess what! Very little in the way of Thanksgiving stuff still out. Christmas is there. Wal-Mart has tried to declare the Friday after Halloween the new Black Friday. Uhm, there's a few flaws in that thinking. Number one, I have the day after Thanksgiving off with pay...I don't have the Friday after Halloween off unless I use a vacation day. Secondly, I am a strong believer in taking our Holidays back. I don't want to start decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving. I love fall, and Thanksgiving is when I get to decorate for it. I'm hoping that people don't encourage this early Christmas spirit too much...I really am tired of being tired of Christmas before it even gets here.

What do you think?

Sunday, November 04, 2007


Wow. I just saw the video for Sugarland's song "Stay". What an amazing video. I don't get a lot of time to watch TV, let along videos (and I hate but what I often see seems boring, unoriginal, or just a way to send out more sex. This video allows us to see the people singing this song as real people, with real emotions. Her simple clothing and makeup is perfect, and the true emotion you can see on both performers faces really brings the words to life. I am not a big Sugarland fan in general, but this song and video will be in my top 10 for some time to come.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Pink for October

I'm a day late, but here it is, October already. It's hard to believe it's been a little over a year since my MIL found her lump. A year of surgeries, chemo, setbacks and now radiation. We are all so thankful that she is still here, still fighting. I found it so ironic that this all occurred just when we were entering October...Breast Cancer awareness month. I stumbled across this website, and turned my site pink last year. And I'm doing it again this year. I am also striving to wear at least one pink item every day. I've added the cute little button created by Tammie Lister. Please, get your mammograms...check the pair...whatever you want to call it.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Love Languages

I found this at OMSH. It's amazing how accurate it describes me. Now I want my husband to take it...I want to see how close my opinion is to his actual results.
I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Acts of Service

My Detailed Results:
Acts of Service: 9
Quality Time: 8
Physical Touch: 7
Receiving Gifts: 3
Words of Affirmation: 3

Thursday, September 06, 2007

The sound of silence

I know, that's what you're hearing around here. It just isn't there. I've been feeling a little peckish lately, and just not up to writing. I sit down to think about blogging, get to reading others...and nothing. That's it. So....maybe soon. We'll see.

Hubby is almost as good as new. Still sore in a few places, but basically okay.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I pink puffy heart...

I've recently discovered a fondness for purses...I'm very picky about the pockets and such, but a good purse that looks really cute is my second favorite accessory (jewelry is my first.) I also love office supplies and organizers. So imagine my joy when I found out Franklin Covey is selling totes. Yes, I know, contain your excitement for a minute.

It could be just me, but I think this is the best. I may have to order it. I can't get the inside picture to post large enough, but it's a beautiful green, with the perfect pockets. Gorgeous. And useful. And on clearance.

Monday, August 13, 2007

My other half, almost missing.

"Don't worry about the Birthday Party...don't worry about picking up the kids. Just come home."

"Okay...Why? What's wrong?"

"I've called 911, and they have an ambulance on it's way. I was working on the jeep and it rolled on me."

"OMG, I'm almost there."

Yes, this is the conversation I had with my husband at 11:17 am Saturday morning. I arrived to find our jeep in the road, my husband holding his head with a towel, and blood everywhere. Minutes went by, during which I moved the jeep out of middle of the road, and finally the paramedics showed up...then the police and finally the ambulance. The whole time, he is talking, he's moving, he's coherent, and that gives me the most comfort and hope. Somehow, even through the terror, I'm certain that he is going to be okay. He's going to have injuries, but he's going to survive. And that is what got me through calling his mom, answering all the wonderfully kind State Trooper's questions, literally driving like a maniac up to the hospital. But I digress. They load him into the ambulance to drive him the open space in our development so that he can be medi-vacced up to the trauma hospital. Of course, the ambulance drivers have no clue where that is. I could have pushed the gurney there faster, but they were doing the best they could. When we (myself, my mom and my Mother-in-law) reach the hospital some hour later, he has arrived, as has my Sister-in-law and her husband (they live near the hospital he was taken to). We are taken back to a room where we are to wait while they do all the tests they need to do. I feel amazingly calm. The nurse finally comes a little bit later, and tells us we can see him for a few minutes...He has a neck brace on, his head is bandaged, he's in nothing but a hospital gown, and he has dried blood all over him. But he's awake and alert and talking, and then it hits me so hard. I almost lost my husband. After several CT Scans, X-Rays, different doctors and several hours, they decide that he is one of the luckiest people in the world. A vehicle had rolled over him, the tire rolling over his head, and he has no broken bones...all he has is a gash in his head (now with 6 staples), several spots of road rash and bruises, and a shoulder that he thinks he may have damaged again. Seriously...that's it. I'm so amazed and so thankful.

I've known that I love this man for over 10 years. We have been through some amazingly hard times in our life, and we are still together and in love. He is truly my best friend, my other half. Without him, my life would not be as beautiful, as fun, as frustrating and as full as it is now. I would truly feel the wound of his loss for the rest of my life. And so I am so very happy that I won't have to...I look forward to living with him for many years to come. And next time, he'll remember to chock the wheels and apply the parking break before removing the drive shaft from a vehicle.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Team don't have to find a lump

This is from another Blogger, WhyMommy. She is battling this cancer and needs all the positive support she can get. having experienced breast cancer, chemo, masectomy and rebuilding surgery with my MIL, her situation strikes me as even crueler. I'm joining her team, and I hope that this info gets out. WhyMommy has offered this post for anyone to post.

We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?
I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.
Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.
Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.
There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.
Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.
You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.
It's been a hectic couple of weeks. Last week was our fair (our state is so small, there's only one) and PB was showing sheep there. What an experience. She is too stinking cute anyways, but we added pink cowgirl boots to the mix and the cuteness level was off the charts. After the all the traveling to and from and time spent (and money, goodness fairs can get expensive), my hubby and I went off for a little weekend retreat. Which was good. But now, we're moving back to normal life.

By Thursday of last week, I could tell that my kids needed a serious amount of sleep, and some time spent in their rooms, in their house. So AT 7:30, I told them they could go outside for 30 minutes, or go to bed. My son insisted he was going to watch TV, and a complete and utter breakdown began. I took him up to his room, helped into PJ's, and settled on his bed to listen to the whining and crying until he finally passed out. During his outrage, he told me that "the answer no is cancelled". I couldn't help it, I had to laugh. And really, isn't that we all wish for...that the answer no doesn't apply, doesn't exist. He finally passed out, I managed to roll out from underneath him, and his final words to me were "I just want to go home." He's getting his wish this week, so let's see how much he enjoys it.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Growing up

My kids are growing up. I know, this is what kids do, they grow up, a little each day. They get older and bigger and wiser and eventually they become adults. It's what we work for, what we are preparing them for, every day. Time is ticking...every second, every minute, they move closer to adulthood, and just a little bit further away from us.

When Bug was a little girl, I often wondered what she was going to be like as a teenager. She was already a smart mouthed little thing, and quick as can be. We often joked about locking her in room as a teenager, for her own good. I thought about first crushes, boyfriends, sports, school...all of it. And now she is a teenager, about to start High School. I look back at the pictures of that little girl, think of the funny (and not so funny) stories from her childhood, and it's so neat to link those stories to who she is now. It's interesting to find that the smart mouth is still there, but she is learning to occasionally control it. All in all, she is a teenager I'm proud to call my daughter. But getting to this point, it wasn't easy. So many milestones she's already passed, each one harder than the last for us to grasp, to believe, to handle. You look at this child, you know she's growing up, you see the little changes each day. And then one day, it hits you...she isn't a baby anymore, she isn't a toddler, she's so big! Middle School, school dances, boys. And now, High school. 6 months of them (the teachers and administrators) forcing this fact down our throats, and I think I'm prepared. I see her for the young lady she is, already showing some of the maturity that I've craved and dreaded at the same time. But still, it doesn't seem that long ago when she was a little 3rd grade tomboy, and I miss those days.

Princess Bear, oh my, she will be a 4th grader this year. It seems like just yesterday that she was starting kindergarten. 4th grade seems so big. I've watched her with the older kids at Bible School this week, and it takes my breath away how much she's changed. She truly is a big girl now. She has taken risks and become more fearless than I ever thought she could be. The whining and temper tantrums have decreased, and she is just so darn cute. She looks like the typical little girl in a book, and I just want to stare at her for hours. I mourn the loss of my little girl, I mourn that sweet baby girl with tiny little piggy tails and silly little games, but I love this big girl, this detail junky, foodie girl. (She's become obsessed with Food network. Seriously, she knows stuff about all the personalities and tells me little tips from their shows constantly. It's really pretty cute.)

The Monster is getting so big too, but he's still my little boy. My heart breaks each time I look at him, because I see him becoming a big boy, growing up and changing. I will miss the boy he is now, just as I miss the baby he was then. His sweet voice, funny little stories, menagerie of pretend animals...these are the things I try to cherish and hold close to my heart. The things I tell myself to remember.

And I remember telling myself to remember before, to hold tight to certain moments so that I can cherish them later on. And sometimes, I try to remember those moments, and I can't. And that makes me miss them even more.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy 4th!

What a great way to celebrate our nation's independence...sitting on a historic patch of grass in the first state, watching one of my very good friends son and mine roll around in complete boyhood, sharing glowsticks with lots of kids, eating italian ice, watching amazing fireworks, and listening the Army band play great patriotic music, complete with cannon's firing. What a satisfying evening. And there's several more days of vacation to go...YAY!

Monday we went to Sesame Place. A good time was had by all, and it wasn't too exhausting. Temperature would have been great for most amusement parks, but Sesame Place is mostly water...was a bit chilly for that.

One day this week, we will go to the beach, sit in the sand and build sandcastles, throw out a line and maybe even launch the boat. While I understand the need to plan most of the time, it's been very pleasant to just go with the flow for the last few days.

Oh, and the ultimate shopping without kiddies, in a store that everyone assumes is closed (only explanation I have for there only being like 12 people in the store...normally it's total chaos in there!)

Hope you all had a great 4th of July!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I was dreaming when I wrote this...

Okay, I wasn't really...I was just wishing my life away. Why, you ask? Because Friday at 4:00, I begin a whole week of no work. Vacation...probably a little strong of a word for it. After all, I'm not going to any great, exciting, or exotic place this year. If we do anything, it will be simple day trips. I still have to feed my children, clean my house, and handle the laundry. BUT there will be no alarm clock, no rush to get anyone to work on time. And there will be some serious dreaming going on. Maybe My legs and shoulders can start to match the rest of my arms.

And maybe I'll kick this damn bronchitis once and for all.

Since I'm not going away....there might even be a few posts in there.

Now I'm off to daydream a bit more.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Happy Father's Day

My hubby is home, just in time for Father's Day. This may not seem like a big deal to most people, but I believe this is only the 2nd or 3rd time he has been home with us on this day in over 10 years. The military just doesn't believe that Father's should be home on Father's Day. How silly us civilians are.

Not much on the agenda for today. We gave him his gifts Friday, as the oldest child is away on her church mission trip and PB is just coming back today from camping. I bought him this book, which I think is just awesome. I would recommend it highly!

And now, to honor the man in our house...

Thank you for being a super awesome, fantastic, crazy, fun dad. We all love you very much and are so happy you are home at last.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Fighting for your life

Last fall, my MIL was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. At the initial diagnosis, she was told it was Stage 1. After several surgeries, she found out it was Stage 4. After a long series of Chemo treatments, she is now facing a long round of radiation therapy. She has lost her hair, eyelashes, eyebrowsa and fingernails. She has been so sick and weak she can barely move. She's had to miss a lot of family activities because her immune system is so weak. But she has battled on...even when she felt defeated, she continued to battle.

When I was a child, cancer meant certain death. It might be years down the road, or days, but if you had cancer, chances were you were going to die. Nowadays, that isn't the case anymore. Cancer isn't pleasant, it isn't fun, it pretty much sucks for those who have to battle it. But we can battle it, and we can win.

This Friday, my SIL will be walking for Relay for Life. This event is an overnight walk to raise funds and awareness for cancer. If you would like to donate to this worthy cause, please link to her site here: Tammy's RLF team. Any donations will be greatly appreciated. Working together, we can continue to make cancer a livable diganosis. Thank you.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


There's a totally cool new site out there...see that button on the left, that beautiful blue one? Click it and it will take you to a place that all cool women should go. What is this site you ask? It's called sk*rt, and it is the site for women to go and find cool internet places to go. Here's a blurb for your info...

sk*rt is a place to find things. News. Ideas. Information. Products. Coolness. And
more and more and more. It’s like that friend who always finds the best stuff… only
better. Because it finds the stuff online. And let’s face it, there are billions of online
options… but finding something you’re interested in, well, that’s sometimes tricky. So
sk*rt was created as a portal for skirts. A spot that you can stop in to see what excellent
things others have found.

See, very cool. It's organized into categories, and we, the members of sk*rt, get to decide what's cool and what's not. Really, go check it will get lost in the choices.

I need a new look for my blog. I wonder if there is anything there about revamping, cause I have no clue how to code a website. Anyone want to help me?

Friday, June 01, 2007

Friday night, let the rednecks descend!

The oldest just returned from her final dance of middle school. What a big event for her, and unfortunately, she did not have a fun time. I hate that. She looked so grown up and pretty and was so looking forward to this. She even gave up a white water rafting trip that she would have totally enjoyed to go to this dance. Makes me so glad I'm not a teenager anymore.

It's race weekend here in our fair city. 140,000 extra drunk bodies floating around town. Yup, we pretty much stay within 2-3 miles of my house and never venture to that other side of town this weekend. Good thing all the soccer stuff is over here...otherwise we wouldn't be going. It amazes me how badly people can smell after a few days of not showering, how drunk people can be, and how many absolutely scary rednecks there are in the world. And I come from rednecks myself, thank you very much. So, sit back and picture 140,000 (okay, not all of the them are drunk rednecks, but there are actually more people than that, as there are three races over the weekend) drunk, stinky, rednecks running around the wal-mart and sam's club in a sales tax free state. Good times, people, good times.

So yes, I know a little about Nascar. Hard not to when it comes to town twice a year. I also know a bit about Indy car racing, seeing as how I grew up in Indiana....and yet, I'm still not a fan. Go figure.

So this weekend, I will do a little bit of tweeking the yard, and cleaning up the house, and some work I brought home. And I won't go anywhere that isn't absolutely necessary. Maybe I can find some blog inspiration.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Oh my, Jenny from Mama Drama commented on my blog...I'm grinning from ear to ear. If you've never checked out the Mama Drama blog, you should. These women are hilarious! Every day is an adventure over there.

Isn't it amazing how quickly we can be transported back to high school. I won't claim that high school was tramautic for me, but it wasn't the best experience of my life either. It's possible that since I went to 4 high schools, I was destined to always be the new girl. And I was okay with that. I had my few friends, most of them older, and I did my own thing. And looking back, I realize it wasn't that bad...there are good memories there. But then, something else comes along, and triggers those bad feelings and memories. The feeling of being alone, different, not one of "them."

College was an eye opening experience for me. Yes, I still had those moments of shyness, of not being cool enough, of not belonging. But I learned...I learned that good friends are priceless. They are the ones that will clean your puke after your 21st birthday and laugh at it with you the next day. They will also make sure you cover yourself after stripping off the shirt you just puked on in front of a bunch of They will be the Godmother to your children, and even after you live hundreds of miles apart with different lives, they will still be your best friend. I also learned to trust myself, and to believe in myself and my decisions.

After numerous years, those feelings have come back to haunt me at odd moments. Moments of feeling outside the crowd, not in sync with those around me. As a new mama, there were numerous experiences like this. You dont' have a Bugaboo? Your child is in daycare? You breastfed for 3 months? Only 3 months? Many of these comments sent me right back to high school. But with age has come understanding. But I've found that at some of my lowest times, I can remember those lessons I learned in college and in life since then. I can look at my family, my friends, my life, and see the blessings within. I can remember to search for those blessings everyday, even when it seems like there will be none. I am stronger that teenage girl believed, and even though I didn't storm the world in the ways I thought I would back then, I have and will continue to do my part to make it a better place. I will raise my beautiful, smart and caring children to become wonderful adults, and I will remember that they are the best gift I can give to the world, and they are my biggest accomplishment.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Real moms...good moms

Wow, I forgot to come back and publish this weeks ago....whoops :)

Rebecca over at Girls Gone Child has asked us all to talk about why we are good mothers. As she says, we are all too quick to put ourselves down, refer to ourselves as bad mothers, and not "toot our own horn" as it were. And I understand her point...I really do.

I've always been sure that the choices I've made have been in the best interest of my children. That makes me a good mother. And when others have commented that I was a good mom, I felt a big swell of pride...that's one of the most important things to me. I do my best to be at all of their activities and games, eat dinner with them almost every night, tuck them in, soothe their fears and booboos, play with them, listen to them, talk to them, teach them, and the myriad of other "qualities" that make you a good mom. A few years ago, I truly did all of that, putting their needs first all the time. And then one day, I had an epiphany. I could be a good mom, and still be a woman, an individual. If I missed one soccer game, they really wouldn't be scarred for life. If someone else tucked them in one night, it wouldn't cause horrible nightmares to descend upon them. I could go out with their father, I could go out with my friends, and still be a good mom. Actually, it makes me an even better mom. I feel good, knowing that I'm showing my girls how to be a mother, wife, and individual. And I hope that someday, my son decides to marry a girl that is strong enough to fulfill all the qualities of a good mother while still maintaining her individuality.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007


It's been a long couple of weeks. The newness has worn off the promotion and real work has set in. I enjoy the work, but there are some issues that need to be resolved that just sit heavy on my mind most of the time.

My personal life hasn't been much better lately. As I've mentioned before, my husband is away from us. It's always been the rule more than the exception that things break while he is gone. Things that I'm just not sure how to fix. Things like lawnmowers and weedeaters, the whole house fan, the light in my closet, the list could go on. I am pretty handy, I can do things myself and I actually enjoy mowing the lawn. The problem lies in time. With three kids, two old enough to have several activities, our lives can run towards the busy. This is the time of year that it seems to come to a head. Everyone is trying to get all the last hurrah, end of year things in, and it just makes the schedule very hectic. So while I don't mind spending and hour and a half mowing and weedeating (actually, I hate weedeating, but the lawn just doesn't look finished if you don't do it, and then I'm not happy with it...I'm a perfectionist when it comes to landscaping...anyway, I digress), finding that hour and a half without sacrificing something like dinner, that is hard. Add the non working equipment to that...well, you see how futile the whole thing becomes.

And just for giggles, you can add PMS on top of this incredibly long and difficult week (which started last week). Yup, no partner, lots of stress, 3 kids, and was grand in this household.

Luckily, my mom isn't using her push mower and brought it over tonight...tomorrow night I stop by and pick up my Mother-in-law's electric weedeater, and by bed time tomorrow night, my yard will be improved. Several of the issues at work have resolved themselves. My birthday is in 2 days, and I may actually get to go out Friday night without my children or a chaperone (no hubbs, but you don't always get it all). All in all, this week is definitely shaping up to be better. It's always amazing how stressed out I can be, and how it all tends to resolve itself if I just give it time.

And I haven't forgotten my desire to volunteer. I'm still trying to find the right thing for me (us). I think I may need to wait until school is out...I'll have loads more time then. Maybe I'll find a way to help that hasn't already been discovered...

Now if I could just get someone to change the switch in the fan...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Giving back

I've often lamented that the oldest child doesn't really get how blessed she is. Tonight, she was watching the "Idol Gives Back" show with me. Ellen suggested that the kids watching tell their parents that they would donate $1 if the parents donated the other $9. My daughter donated $5 of her own...and sat and figured out what that would buy for these kids. She may not get how lucky and blessed she is, but at least she's willing to share it.

Of course, I'm a drippy mess watching these sorts of shows. The mother in me wants to scoop up all those babies and hug them tight and tell them everything will be okay. I used to volunteer my time locally, but as the babies came and grew and my life was so busy, it fell to the wayside. Tonight I was moved to find a way to volunteer that can include my kids. The things we do at church and school and work just aren't enough. We are so blessed, we've come from nothing, worked hard, and now we are living the good life. Now I have to give back.

Sunday, April 22, 2007


I have purposely not written anything about the Va Tech shootings, and now the NASA shooting, because my mind just couldn't glom together anything remotely intelligent about these senseless acts. All it knows is that my heart is hurting so much over this...and I try to force it on to other thoughts.

A year or so ago, we had to attend a "Violence in the Workplace" training session. We had to watch a video which included footage of an actual hostage/shooting incident. So many times we sit in these training classes and poke fun, think "it can't happen to me." We all sat in that room and truly discussed what scared us, how it should be handled. We have a secure office, but it is only as secure as the people with access make it. Too many times, people let someone's spouse, or friend, or that vendor in a limited access door so that they don't have to walk to the front door. This worries me. How do we know Joe Bob and Jill Ann are still happily married? Maybe you've been letting him in for 5 years, but now he's mad at Jill Ann cause she kicked him out. I think of these awful things all of the time.

My children attend school on a military base. So many people ask me if I'm worried they will be targeted. I do worry, but not as much as you would think. There are so many precautions taken, so much more security, so many people more aware, simply because of where it is. I don't function under the disillusion that nothing bad is going to happen to them, I just worry a little less. Now next year, when the oldest goes to High School downtown...that scares the shit out of me.

How do we reconcile this fear with providing our children the opportunity to grow and thrive? Of course, we all want to lock them in where it's safe and keep them small forever. I sometimes think that we look at our own childhood through rose colored glasses. We all talk about how we were able to run around all day with little to know parental supervision, and schools were left unlocked all day, and so on. But I remember being taught stranger danger from a very young age. I remember stories of children that were stolen, abducted, killed and/or molested. Maybe it's more prevalent now, but it happened then, too. My husband and I try to find balance. We teach our children to be aware of their surroundings, to stay in groups, to be where they are supposed to be. We share the scary stories with our teenage daughter, so that she understands where we are coming from. We check up on our kids, we expect to meet parents before they go with them...all those common sense things that we as parents must do. But each day, as I send them off to school, the youth center, and daycare, I say a little prayer. When I hear scary things are happening, I say a little prayer. And most of all, each night, I say a little prayer thanking God for my blessings...and for keeping them safe for one more day.

My heart goes out to all the victims and their families, including the shooter's. I won't even pretend to understand the anguish you are living with. May you find peace in heart someday.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Random Thoughts

Several random thoughts...

So far, supervising sucks.

American Idol. No one has captured my attention so much this year. Melinda will do better for herself if she loses, Jakisha should get a contract no matter what, Sanjaya just depresses me, Blake is pretty good, but not WOW...really, none of them really matter. I've watched this far just to see the people I didn't really like go.

I love the show House...I think I may actually need to get the season DVD's since I know we've missed quite a few.

My son got a new pair of neon green rain/gardening boots. He wears them everywhere and is just so stinking cute. Maybe I'll relent on my no picture rule and share soon.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the VA Tech Community. What a horrible experience. I definitely said a little prayer for my kids safety.

I'll try and post some real things soon...sorry I'm such a slacker!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

oh the horror

I am sick. I started feeling a little bad Monday night, and by yesterday afternoon I had to face facts and go see the doctor. Their diagnosis...bronchitis. This seriously developed from a little sniffle and cough to full blown in less than 24 sucky is that? Of course I mentioned that my husband is away, and thank goodness my mom moved here. She's been such a blessing, coming and taking care of my kids, getting them to school, and everything else. I am so lucky! Of course, I'll feel a lot luckier when I feel better.

I was just given a promotion at work, and will be starting my new job the week after next. It is crazy busy this time of year after the Holiday lull, and trying to tie up loose ends and prepare to move up (and into a smaller cubicle, how crazy is that? has kept me swamped. Hopefully I'll be finding some blogging inspiration soon...cause I miss it!

Friday, March 16, 2007

Work in progress

I have a confession to make. I'm one of those people. The ones that start a million different projects and those projects lay around in various states of completion (but not completed.) Then one day, some bug hits me, and I start to finsh a few of them. But then I start 10 more for every few that I finish. The worst of these projects? My letters, cards and journals.

I've mentioned here before that I love to write. I love words, and how they create stories and shared feelings and all the good and bad of life. And as such, I've always dreamed of keeping a journal, writing long letters to my friends, etc. But then real life intrudes, and minutes become hours become days become weeks. And I stumble across that journal, that letter, that card, and remember that I was going to finish it. But now, what was so urgent and important to say 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years isn't so urgent or important anymore. So I don't want to burden myself with writing to my journal to tell myself how it's all resolved. And I don't want to burden my friends with stories that now seem so predictable, finished, unimportant. So I end up with lots of journals that have just a few entries. Half written letters that never get sent.

And unfortunately, this blog has become like those journals and letters. Something I want to share, something I want to write on, something that seems important to me. And a complete lack of available subjects isn't helping. I'm struggling with that demon that all bloggers tend to struggle with at some point. I want to remain anonymous as much as possible, but want to share and grow as well. I'm still working on that balance. And my new quarter resolutions (I've decided that since April is the beginning of a new quarter of the year, I'm going to re-resolve) is to be more involved in my blog.

As far as those letters go, I'm glad that Girl Con Queso has given me permission to write the long emails instead of the long letters. According to number one on this list, they are just as good as long letters, and I don't have to remember to stamp and mail them. So watch your inboxes!

Friday, March 02, 2007

Oh What a Beautiful...

I love to look at pretty things. I know, not a big surprise, most people do. But my real weakness is pretty stuff. You know, office supplies that aren't really necessary, serving dishes that you have to invent reasons to use, artwork that you just can't find the right place for. Luckily, we've been pretty much broke most of my married life, so my ability to buy more and more stuff has been very limited.

One of my favorite blogs is Design Mom. She has the coolest stuff on there. I can enjoy it, and if I really love it, I can click on the link to look at the vendor's website. I love that I can look at the pretty things with no temptation to buy it. But THE BEST part of Design Mom is her Giveaways. So simple, really. You leave a comment on that post and someone at random wins that item...and ohhhhhhh the items she chooses. I was the lucky recipient of the Valentine's Day card from Handsome Devil Press. I loved that card so was the perfect card for my hubby from me. And today is your lucky day, because she's in the midst of one of those giveaways today. And I would kill for what she is giving away. It's one of the most beautiful pieces of stuff I've ever seen. So much so that I looked at prices. I know what number 1 is on my birthday list now.

Go. look...what are you still doing here? There's free stuff to be had!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Sleeping children

I was watching the monster as he slept the other night, and my mind wandered down the road to the future. What is he going to be like as a school boy, as a teenager, as an adult. What would our relationship be like? Is he going to stay here, live far away, or be a rock star. What sports will he play, what groups would he join, what passions will he cultivate.

Every night, before I go to bed, I go into each of my children's room and give them a kiss on the forehead. And many nights, I stand there and stare at their sleeping faces. Such peacefulness and beauty. I love them so much, and in those moments, I feel it so strongly. I imagine them as they were, just tiny little babes, cute little toddlers.

I remember Bug as a blond hair toddler, a child that had to create a nest before she would finally crash, hours after bed time. I remember a tough little tomboy in jeans and tshirts standing a foot shorter than everyone else, but making up for it with her big attitude. And I picture her now, the just turned teenager, enjoying her year of being on top of the middle school pile. I think about what high school is going to be like for her, what colleges she might choose, what she wants to be as she continues to grow.

I remember PB as the baby that hated to sleep (nothing has changed on that front) and she could entertain herself for hours in her crib. She wasn't mad about being in the crib, but she wasn't going to fall asleep. And then as a toddler, so independent. She has the most amazing blue eyes, and with her little ponytails, she looked like a doll. Now she's a tough little school girl, who loves making cards and gifts for her teachers and girl scout leader, and who spends the majority of her time drawing, coloring and otherwise crafting. She's the rule follower...and don't you dare break them.

I have so many memories of my babies, and even though I'm looking forward to seeing who they become, I sure do wish they would grow up a little slower.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

So where have I been you ask (not that many of you care)...

My hubby left last weekend, we had some sort of activity every evening last week, we went to Baltimore for the weekend, and on top of that, work has been absolutely crazy. We've had several large projects all due at the same time, plus I have been interviewing for a new job like crazy. I need a vacation.

We went to the Aquarium in Baltimore. It was fun, but boy oh boy was it crowded. Unlike our first visit almost 2 years ago, no snakes tried to attack my son through the glass, and the sharks amazed instead of terrified him. I think the favorite animal of the day was the African Bullfrog, which was approximately the size of his head.

Out of the mouths of babes...

As we are cruising one of the interstates into Baltimore this past weekend, my son sees a huge smoke stack belching out the wonderful poisons that contanimate our environment. His comment? Oh, so that's where clouds come from. Still makes me smile.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Days of stress

Wow, what a week it's been. Monday, we took the oldest to the high school for 8th grade info night. How am I old enough to have a high schooler next year? And who's idea was it to have an information night last 2 1/2 hours on a school night? We seriously left that school at 9:36...that's crazy! And the amount of info crammed into our heads...goodness, I had a headache.

My MIL is battling breast cancer, and this week she was very sick. I took her to the doctor several times since she was not breathing very well at all, and they gave her a nebulizer treatment the first visit. My two youngest have asthma, so I am very familiar with nebulizers. She was so sick, the doctor was giving all the instructions to me. It felt like I was at a kids Their neb was hot pink, and PB was soooooooo jealous. Ours is a boring grayish color.

On top of all of that, I had a tooth pulled today. I have horrible veins (and don't do anesthesia well at all. I wil never have elective surgery.) so the nurses strongly suggested I just let the dentist do local. I'll live, but yuck.

And last but definitely not the least, my husband leaves for another state over 700 miles away tomorrow. He'll be gone until the end of June. I'm happy that he will remain in the US, and that it's 5 ish months instead of a year, but it still sucks. I'll miss him tons, and I expect he'll be reading this blog just a little more often during that time. You're going to hear a lot more about my've been warned!

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

And they lived happily ever after!

There's been lots of postings in the blog world about how people met their significant others. Which is sort of funny, as that was one of the first things I put on my list of blog topics to consider. So I guess I need to tell this story.

I attended college in the midwest. I was dating a Masters student from the East coast when I graduated. I accepted a job in a town a couple of hours away and it sucked. After 2 months of very little sleep, long boring work hours, and no end in sight, I quit. My boyfriend finished his thesis a month later, and I decided to pack up my stuff and move back to the East coast with him. At this time, my mother lived in the state I had attended college in, and my father lived in a state neighboring the boyfriends parents. The plan was to stay with my BF's parents until he found his new job, and then I would begin my Master's at the closest college. After a year of menial part time jobs for me, and (finally) a job for him doing what I could do with my BS, I had enough of living in limbo with his highly dysfunctional family (they threw knives at each other during arguments...seriously), I decided it was time to get the hell out. I made plans to move in with my father while I took stock and figured out what to do. The BF gave me an ultimatum that if I moved out, he was done...I figured it was a good thing to continue moving out. Not long after moving in with my dad and finding a temporary job, I went to my nephew's birthday party (around Thanksgiving).

We have this little kids play place the Chuckee place, but less video games and bigger play areas...and no scary mice. Our room host knew my nephews mom. He was cute, but had a ring and mentioned his daughter. He thought I was cute (I found this out later) but I had a ring and was holding a baby (my niece). Enter the cupids (my ex-SIL and Stepmother). They managed to exchange our phone numbers and let us both know that the other was actually single. He called me that night, and we talked for a long time. I explained that I didn't really want a boyfriend, as I had no intention of staying here for long. He had just finalized his divorce and wasn't looking for anything other than a friend. We went out to dinner and a movie, and then I met his daughter, and she spent a lot of time with me and my nephew. We continued doing things together, and sort of became a couple. We went out Valentine's Day, and that evening (after midnight) he proposed, and I said yes. We were married that Oct, had our PB the following Sept. And so far, we've lived happily ever after!

Monday, January 22, 2007

What's on your dinner plate?'s such a hard subject to think about. The day to day decision process...what to make, how long do you have to make it, does everyone like it. It gets stressful. I've tried making up the menus for 2 weeks, and it works well...but that just puts on the stress in one 10 minute period instead of every day. So I procastinate it.

Tonight's dinner was grilled pork loin, cheesy scalloped potatoes, and broccoli. It always amazes me how fast I can throw together a simple, nutritious dinner. This simple meal took the same amount of time to prepare as popping in the tv dinners my kids love. (Don't worry, my kids do eat them, I just try not to use them for every day dinners.)

One of our favorite side dishes is so easy to make. It's probably technically a form of pilaf, but we just call it Mushroom Rice.

Mushroom Rice
In a microwavable bowl, combine all the ingredients for the rice (rice, water, butter) following the package amounts. Add in one can of mushrooms and 3-4 bouillion cubes. Put in the microwave for about 20-30 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes or so.
Easy and favorite :)

Friday, January 19, 2007


I love to write. I love the way the words in my head sound on paper. I love the puzzle of making sure the words I choose, and the order I place them in, optimize the readers understanding. I took a semester of Latin, and I hated that there was very little sentence structure. Take all the right words, and put them down however. Yuck. That's part of the process that brings me joy. I had a professor in college that once told me the he felt if he could base my entire grade on written papers, I would have the highest grade he had ever given. That was such a compliment to me, and I thanked him profusely. He laughed and said he was glad I took it as a compliment, and now could I edit our marketing

As much as I love to write, I've never fancied myself a "writer" as such. I never thought I had the "great american novel" sleeping in my brain. I'm more of a factual writer. Or opinion.

I don't get to write much anymore, and I'm still trying to find my way in this blog. There are subjects I want to write about, but haven't had the time or energy to figure out how to maintain anonymity while telling the story, as well as prevent others from feeling exposed. I guess I could find a way to keep a private online diary, but that just seems like more work than I want to go through.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Let the Music Play

I love music of all kinds. Our music collection runs the gamut from country to rock to jazz and classical and a little bit of Indie. I have Sirius Satellite radio, and my cell phone is also an IPod. I surround myself with music all day long. And because it has always been that way, I remember prime events from my life not by dates, but by songs. I hear songs, and can remember when...Remember when my bestest friend and I sang along and joked about being the Woo Woo girls for Elvis (even though he had been dead most of our lives)...remember singing "Stand By Your Man" when I was 5 with all the twang I could muster...Remember standing in that recording booth at Kings Island with my best friends in high school singing "That's What Friends Are For." I also hear songs and feel the emotions from the lyrics. "Godspeed" by the Dixie Chicks always makes me think of my son and smile. "I Hope You Dance" is my song for PB. Music touches my emotions in a way that television shows and movies aren't able to. Listening to the congregation sing Silent Night in candlelit church on Christmas Eve always chokes me up. My family always teeses me about having kleenex available.

My family has different levels of musical attachment. My husband also likes many different types of music, but can take it or leave it most of the time. My oldest loves Top 40 and a little bit of country, just like so many other teenagers. She doesn't want to learn about or appreciate anything that wasn't a hit sometime in the last 10 or so years. She does occassionally ask what a song means, but most of the time could care less. PB loves all types of music...the more upbeat, the happier she is. I sometimes catch her choosing to watch the videos on CMT instead of the latest show on Nick or Disney. She will sit and draw and color while the radio plays in the background. She loves to sing along and she wants to know the artist and title for every song on the radio. She sings me songs about her day that end up being 15 minutes long. My son also loves all types music. If you ask him what his favorite song is, he will tell you "Sweet Home Alabama." He also loves "Who Are You" (my husband watches a lot of CSI). His current love is Christmas songs. I admit that our family saturates itself in Christmas music from Thanksgiving until sometime after Christmas. The other day, sitting at a restaurant waiting for our food, my son busts out "the very next day, you gave it away"...yes, the Wham song. He strums his guitar, and sings songs that he's made up...And says things like "Let's rock it out now" and "Thank you for coming out to hear us." That boy has never been to a concert in his life, but can quote concert comments like a seasoned roadie. I hope that he enjoys a vast musical buffet as he grows too.

What part does music play in your life?

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Well, I've managed to go to the gym 2 nights this week...woohoo, double last week! I had a crazy bad headache today, and still forced myself to go. Hopefully a routine will set in by the end of this month and it won't be so bad.

I've had a hard day. January is already a hard month for me, but the last few days have really taken their toll even more than usual. Crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head permanently doesn't sound like such a bad idea. But I'm still moving along, trying to fight it off with a good diet, exercise, and looking for the good things. I have to say, reading other people's blogs is such a good way to relieve some stress.

Apparently this is Delurkers week or something to that effect. So if you are here, leave me a comment! I thrive on them. Maybe they will make me feel better. And really, I'll find my groove soon. I promise.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

First of all, sorry for not posting much. There have been some personal issues happening in my family that I'm just currently not ready to share with the outside world. Really, they aren't my stories to share, and it's hard to share my views and feelings without sharing other peoples stories.

I'm not going great guns, but I have managed to get to the gym a few times and do some exercises at home. I've cut back on what I'm eating and trying to choose the healthier items I know I should be eating. Haven't gotten back on the scale yet...maybe tomorrow.

It's been crazy warm here on the East coast, and today was a bite of what real winter is usually like here. But no worries, cause come this weekend, it's supposed to be downright balmy again!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Getting healthy

This isn't really a New Year's resolution, just a rebirth to what began last fall and went on hiatus during the busy birthday and holiday hell that is the last quarter of the year. I will lose weight and get fit and healthy. I will be more active with my children all year round. Today I found this great blog that I'm hoping will help! Get_fit_in_2007 is looking to be a great should check it out!