Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Oh my, Jenny from Mama Drama commented on my blog...I'm grinning from ear to ear. If you've never checked out the Mama Drama blog, you should. These women are hilarious! Every day is an adventure over there.

Isn't it amazing how quickly we can be transported back to high school. I won't claim that high school was tramautic for me, but it wasn't the best experience of my life either. It's possible that since I went to 4 high schools, I was destined to always be the new girl. And I was okay with that. I had my few friends, most of them older, and I did my own thing. And looking back, I realize it wasn't that bad...there are good memories there. But then, something else comes along, and triggers those bad feelings and memories. The feeling of being alone, different, not one of "them."

College was an eye opening experience for me. Yes, I still had those moments of shyness, of not being cool enough, of not belonging. But I learned...I learned that good friends are priceless. They are the ones that will clean your puke after your 21st birthday and laugh at it with you the next day. They will also make sure you cover yourself after stripping off the shirt you just puked on in front of a bunch of guys...lol. They will be the Godmother to your children, and even after you live hundreds of miles apart with different lives, they will still be your best friend. I also learned to trust myself, and to believe in myself and my decisions.

After numerous years, those feelings have come back to haunt me at odd moments. Moments of feeling outside the crowd, not in sync with those around me. As a new mama, there were numerous experiences like this. You dont' have a Bugaboo? Your child is in daycare? You breastfed for 3 months? Only 3 months? Many of these comments sent me right back to high school. But with age has come understanding. But I've found that at some of my lowest times, I can remember those lessons I learned in college and in life since then. I can look at my family, my friends, my life, and see the blessings within. I can remember to search for those blessings everyday, even when it seems like there will be none. I am stronger that teenage girl believed, and even though I didn't storm the world in the ways I thought I would back then, I have and will continue to do my part to make it a better place. I will raise my beautiful, smart and caring children to become wonderful adults, and I will remember that they are the best gift I can give to the world, and they are my biggest accomplishment.


theflyingmum said...

Well said! Yes, the high school insecurities still haunt me sometimes too.

Jenny said...

I'm the same way. This is why I've never gone to my high school reunion. I didn't much like the insecure girl I was then. And now I get the same twinges of insecurity when I hang out with competimoms. Don't let the bitches get you down. Hailey's in daycare, I couldn't breastfeed AND she's still not potty-trained. Still, she's happier than the other kids of those competimommies and since that's my primary goal I just let all the other stuff roll off my back. (Well, most of the time.)

PS. Your opening line had me grinning from ear to ear. You're so sweet!

Anonymous said...

They will ALWAYS be your best friend...no matter what or how long between phone calls!! ;)