Wednesday, March 21, 2007

oh the horror

I am sick. I started feeling a little bad Monday night, and by yesterday afternoon I had to face facts and go see the doctor. Their diagnosis...bronchitis. This seriously developed from a little sniffle and cough to full blown in less than 24 sucky is that? Of course I mentioned that my husband is away, and thank goodness my mom moved here. She's been such a blessing, coming and taking care of my kids, getting them to school, and everything else. I am so lucky! Of course, I'll feel a lot luckier when I feel better.

I was just given a promotion at work, and will be starting my new job the week after next. It is crazy busy this time of year after the Holiday lull, and trying to tie up loose ends and prepare to move up (and into a smaller cubicle, how crazy is that? has kept me swamped. Hopefully I'll be finding some blogging inspiration soon...cause I miss it!

Friday, March 16, 2007

Work in progress

I have a confession to make. I'm one of those people. The ones that start a million different projects and those projects lay around in various states of completion (but not completed.) Then one day, some bug hits me, and I start to finsh a few of them. But then I start 10 more for every few that I finish. The worst of these projects? My letters, cards and journals.

I've mentioned here before that I love to write. I love words, and how they create stories and shared feelings and all the good and bad of life. And as such, I've always dreamed of keeping a journal, writing long letters to my friends, etc. But then real life intrudes, and minutes become hours become days become weeks. And I stumble across that journal, that letter, that card, and remember that I was going to finish it. But now, what was so urgent and important to say 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years isn't so urgent or important anymore. So I don't want to burden myself with writing to my journal to tell myself how it's all resolved. And I don't want to burden my friends with stories that now seem so predictable, finished, unimportant. So I end up with lots of journals that have just a few entries. Half written letters that never get sent.

And unfortunately, this blog has become like those journals and letters. Something I want to share, something I want to write on, something that seems important to me. And a complete lack of available subjects isn't helping. I'm struggling with that demon that all bloggers tend to struggle with at some point. I want to remain anonymous as much as possible, but want to share and grow as well. I'm still working on that balance. And my new quarter resolutions (I've decided that since April is the beginning of a new quarter of the year, I'm going to re-resolve) is to be more involved in my blog.

As far as those letters go, I'm glad that Girl Con Queso has given me permission to write the long emails instead of the long letters. According to number one on this list, they are just as good as long letters, and I don't have to remember to stamp and mail them. So watch your inboxes!

Friday, March 02, 2007

Oh What a Beautiful...

I love to look at pretty things. I know, not a big surprise, most people do. But my real weakness is pretty stuff. You know, office supplies that aren't really necessary, serving dishes that you have to invent reasons to use, artwork that you just can't find the right place for. Luckily, we've been pretty much broke most of my married life, so my ability to buy more and more stuff has been very limited.

One of my favorite blogs is Design Mom. She has the coolest stuff on there. I can enjoy it, and if I really love it, I can click on the link to look at the vendor's website. I love that I can look at the pretty things with no temptation to buy it. But THE BEST part of Design Mom is her Giveaways. So simple, really. You leave a comment on that post and someone at random wins that item...and ohhhhhhh the items she chooses. I was the lucky recipient of the Valentine's Day card from Handsome Devil Press. I loved that card so was the perfect card for my hubby from me. And today is your lucky day, because she's in the midst of one of those giveaways today. And I would kill for what she is giving away. It's one of the most beautiful pieces of stuff I've ever seen. So much so that I looked at prices. I know what number 1 is on my birthday list now.

Go. look...what are you still doing here? There's free stuff to be had!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Sleeping children

I was watching the monster as he slept the other night, and my mind wandered down the road to the future. What is he going to be like as a school boy, as a teenager, as an adult. What would our relationship be like? Is he going to stay here, live far away, or be a rock star. What sports will he play, what groups would he join, what passions will he cultivate.

Every night, before I go to bed, I go into each of my children's room and give them a kiss on the forehead. And many nights, I stand there and stare at their sleeping faces. Such peacefulness and beauty. I love them so much, and in those moments, I feel it so strongly. I imagine them as they were, just tiny little babes, cute little toddlers.

I remember Bug as a blond hair toddler, a child that had to create a nest before she would finally crash, hours after bed time. I remember a tough little tomboy in jeans and tshirts standing a foot shorter than everyone else, but making up for it with her big attitude. And I picture her now, the just turned teenager, enjoying her year of being on top of the middle school pile. I think about what high school is going to be like for her, what colleges she might choose, what she wants to be as she continues to grow.

I remember PB as the baby that hated to sleep (nothing has changed on that front) and she could entertain herself for hours in her crib. She wasn't mad about being in the crib, but she wasn't going to fall asleep. And then as a toddler, so independent. She has the most amazing blue eyes, and with her little ponytails, she looked like a doll. Now she's a tough little school girl, who loves making cards and gifts for her teachers and girl scout leader, and who spends the majority of her time drawing, coloring and otherwise crafting. She's the rule follower...and don't you dare break them.

I have so many memories of my babies, and even though I'm looking forward to seeing who they become, I sure do wish they would grow up a little slower.