Thursday, December 29, 2011


Labels. We all wear them. Some we've had all of our lives while others come and go. Daughter. Mother. Son. Father. Those are the easy labels.

Failure, unworthy, unlovable. Those come too easy as well. It's easy to look at small things in our lives and make them bigger than they really are. We think that because we didn't get that job or that person didn't fall in love with us we are any or all of those labels. Sometimes those labels stick with us through our whole lives, coloring our perceptions every day.

But each of us has the potential to wear better labels. Loving, kind, friend, lover. Those are all easy to wear as well. My goal moving forward is to wear those positive labels more than I wear the negative.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Santa, is that you?

The Monster will be 9 this Friday.  I really can't believe that.  It seems like just the other day he was my little toddler monster.

Santa called to speak to him this evening.  He spent about 2 minutes discussing his wish list and whether he should be on the naughty or nice list.  It made my heart so happy to listen to him.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Finding me.

I was feeling like this every day for a while.  And while I chuckled while I read that, it wasn't really funny.

But you know what?  I've snapped out of it.  I sat myself down and told her to grow the heck up.  It was time to put up or shut up.  And any of those other cliche's you can think of.

This process actually started a year or so ago.  I started realizing that I wasn't really happy.  I was snappy, and grumpy, and fat, and feeling like a slug all the time.  I had a procedure last year that helped with my endo, and I was starting to feel better.  But I was still cranky, lazy, and fat.

At the end of July, I started Weight Watchers at work.  After a few weeks, I realized that I needed to get moving in order to maximize my weight loss and feel better.  I started going to Zumba at least twice a week.  I started attending a weekly strength and toning class at work during one lunch hour.

Since July 26th, I have lost 35 pounds.  I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel every day.  I have more energy, feel better, sleep better, and feel more like me every day.  I like putting on clothes, and am working on trying to allow myself to be in more pictures.

But I also realized that I needed to get healthier in every aspect, not just with my weight.  So I've been working on my outlook and feelings.  And I'm becoming more like me...the me of years ago.

But the journey is far from over.  I have at least 40 more pounds to lose...possibly even more.  I have found my voice again.  I want to talk.  The little things aren't as likely to send me into the spiral anymore. I've found my strength.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


I've been feeling chatty lately.  Facebook friends are probably ready to kill me.  I realized today that I need to start blogging these thoughts.  Maybe I found my voice again?  They're gonna be rough, but I'm gonna try to put them out there.

Today was a day of cooking...I made italian wedding soup for lunch and steak, scalloped potatoes and roasted broccoli and cauliflower for dinner.  I also made Kale Chips for the first time...oh my, those are delicious!  I also roasted chestnuts in the oven for the first time.  I don't really like them, but I'm glad I tried them.

I also managed to get several Christmas projects knocked out.  I have a lot more to go, but it felt good to have something done.

And I managed to get all of the family to put their clothes away.  It's a Christmas miracle.