I was feeling like this every day for a while. And while I chuckled while I read that, it wasn't really funny.
But you know what? I've snapped out of it. I sat myself down and told her to grow the heck up. It was time to put up or shut up. And any of those other cliche's you can think of.
This process actually started a year or so ago. I started realizing that I wasn't really happy. I was snappy, and grumpy, and fat, and feeling like a slug all the time. I had a procedure last year that helped with my endo, and I was starting to feel better. But I was still cranky, lazy, and fat.
At the end of July, I started Weight Watchers at work. After a few weeks, I realized that I needed to get moving in order to maximize my weight loss and feel better. I started going to Zumba at least twice a week. I started attending a weekly strength and toning class at work during one lunch hour.
Since July 26th, I have lost 35 pounds. I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel every day. I have more energy, feel better, sleep better, and feel more like me every day. I like putting on clothes, and am working on trying to allow myself to be in more pictures.
But I also realized that I needed to get healthier in every aspect, not just with my weight. So I've been working on my outlook and feelings. And I'm becoming more like me...the me of years ago.
But the journey is far from over. I have at least 40 more pounds to lose...possibly even more. I have found my voice again. I want to talk. The little things aren't as likely to send me into the spiral anymore. I've found my strength.