Friday, November 05, 2010

Friday morning outlook

Yay, it's Friday!  Only 4 more working days until my mini-vacation.  Not going anywhere, just not going to work.  Yay!

Friday's are so nice.  Work is always quiet since a lot of people take Friday's off.  Of course, productivity could go either way on Friday.  Sometimes we all just want to stand around's Friday!  Sometimes it's nose to the grindstone...I don't want to have to deal with this next week.  I'm hoping today is a good blend of both.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Trying to get on track

The last few months have taken a toll on me.  My house is a mess (it's clean thanks to bi-weekly cleaning lady visits.)  My schedule is a mess.  My eating and exercising ae sad.

So, tonight I went to my first Zumba class.  It's some me time and I really enjoyed it.  I was working up a sweat in about 10 minutes.  Next week I tackle the eating habits.

And maybe this weekend I can get some cleaning done in the house.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Not a Wordless Wednesday

I wanted to do a Wordless Wednesday today, but my camera and I haven't been friends much lately.  I hope that changes soon.

Life has been way to hectic lately.  I've found myself wishing I had the time to stop and capture the beauty of fall.  This weekend I will carve out time to do just that.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Civic Duties

1. I voted today. I am very blessed to be able to do so, and I totally get that.
2. Luckily, I did not have the feeling of panic that I endured while voting two years ago.  Not because I felt so strongly about any of the candidates, but because the positions we were voting for didn't seem so important.  I understand that government at all levels is important.  The decisions that the elected officials make have a major impact on all parts of my life...from the trash pick up for my house to the paycheck I receive.  But when we vote for the Governor and President, it truly makes me sick to my stomach.  I didn't want to vote for either of the candidates in either of those races. 
3. I still didn't really care for the majority of the people listed on that ballot.  Most of the ones I wanted to (and some I did) vote for weren't going to win.  They were the Independent people...they just aren't going to win here.
4.  I voted for those people anyway.  I crossed my fingers, sent my wishes up high, and figured at the least, I wasn't voting for either of the people I really disliked.
5. I'm tired of the campaigning.  It isn't really about what anyone believes or is going to do for us, it's about what dirt they can dig up on their opponents.  Seriously, I'm from the state that has now been a joke on Saturday Night Live because there were reports that one of the candidates was a witch.  Really?  That's what is most important in the election?  How about we talk about the economy? Unemployment? Health care? Military spending...I could go on and on about the topics that should be covered. 
6.  I thought news outlets were supposed to be fair and impartial.  Hah.
7.  Campaign reform needs to happen.  Not just about fundraising and spending, but about how people campaign.
8.  I really don't care that you dabbled in witchcraft, that you are a Mormon or Christian or Agnostic, that you were divorced, that you like to have a glass of wine every night.  Those things (for the most part) don't matter.  None of us is perfect, and we have all done things in our life that we are not proud of.  If we learned from those things, grew and changed our ways, then we've lived a good life.  Move on and tell me what you are going to do in the future.  And then do it.
9.  Watching the results pour in, I'm sick to my stomach.  People talk about wanting change, that the system we have isn't working, but when push comes to shove, they vote the same way they always have, at least in the state I live in.
10.  I will wake up tomorrow, and nothing will have changed.  I will wake up in January and nothing will have changed.  While I truly believe that Democracy is a great thing, I am saddened by the direction our country is heading now.

Monday, November 01, 2010

On love and life and all the stuff in between

I married my husband thirteen years ago.  We met almost fourteen years ago.  We knew each other less than three months when he asked me to marry him and I agreed.  Eight months later we were married.  We almost gave up several times in those first five years.  There was love and happiness, but there was a lot of stress as well.  We were so poor, and struggling just to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and heat in the house.  We'd be so happy if we could make it to store without kids.  Jobs were lost, money was tight, life happened.  Somehow, we stuck it out.  And life got easier.  Marriage was easier. 

Then we prepared for a year apart, spent that year apart, and the last year getting readjusted.  Again it hasn't been easy.  I am not the best at long distance relationships of any kind.  I have a hard time with the work that goes into staying connected and involved.  Perhaps that's why I am only close to one person from my college days, and only stay in touch with others from high school and college by Facebook.  I want to do better, but the time and energy are used up elsewhere.  But with my husband, I worked.  I worked hard that year.

And it's still not easy.  The relationship changed.  We've had our struggles this year.  After being the sole person in charge of the household for a year, it's hard to reintegrate another adult.  After a year of only being responsible for himself and some basic chores besides work, it's hard to reintegrate into life with kids, household responsibilities, and less freedom.  And I'll admit, for a while there, we sucked.  It wasn't working.  And it was hard.

But through it all, I tried to remember one fact.  I love this man.  Even during the hardest times, when I want to scream and yell and cry and fight, I love him. I committed to being his wife, through all of the times, not just the good or easy ones.  And what sort of role model would I be for my children if I just quit whenever the going got rough.

It's still not easy.  He's going to school full time at night while also working full time. He misses things, he can't help out as much around the house and with the kids.  I get frustrated...I need a break, and I don't see him offering one, and I get mad.  He gets frustrated for the same reasons.  But I take a deep breath, and remind myself that this too shall pass.

Let me clarify here, I am not saying that you should never consider divorce, that YOU should stick it out no matter what.  There are many situations in which you should leave.  Each person deserves to be happy, to live their best life.  And if divorce is the only way to do so, then so be it.  I will do my best to not judge you, especially if I know how hard you've worked, how much you struggled.  But I will be sad for you, and I will wish that things could be different. 

As for me, I've told my husband this before, and I post it here for all the world to see.  I am committed to our marriage.  I am committed to making it be all that it can be, to working through the hard times, enjoying the fun times, and to still be doing so when we are old.