on tragedy

I've purposely not thought too much about Friday's tragedy.  It's so simple for people to make this another battle in the war that this country is fighting.  I'm not talking about the war in Iraq or Afghanistan.  I'm talking about the war we are waging against our neighbors.  The arguing and the fighting about which side is right and which side is wrong.  The angry things we say and post about people, and the gross generalizations.  And it's easy for us to sit at our computers and post that things need to change, or to share those sweet little affirmations, pictures, etc on Facebook saying we won't forget.

And we won't forget.  But it will fade.  And we'll go back to our daily lives, taking those we love for granted as we scream about our beliefs.

So I will do what I can.  I will try to show grace an compassion to others.  I will try to stop myself when I begin to silently judge someone else.  I will attempt to live a life that is worthy of all that I have.

Holiday Necessities

With all the hustle and bustle this time of year, it can sometimes be difficult to handle the basic things necessary for daily life. Although you've gone to the store three times in the last three days, you still forget to buy the batteries and laundry detergent. Now you can shop the P&G eStore for those items and have them delivered to your home.

Everyone needs batteries this time of year.  You can get a 28 pack of Duracell AA or AAA batteries to keep those great Christmas gifts working.  And while you are there, you can enter to win a $100 prize pack of batteries in the Duracell Sweepstakes. Stock up now for all those snow days so that you aren't stuck at home with whining kids when their electronics need batteries and you are out.

With New Year's right around the corner, I'm sure we're all thinking about the resolutions we'll be making.  If better skin care is on your list, you should visit the Olay are of the site for some great products. I love Olay products...they work great but are still affordable. You may also be looking to whiten your teeth, and there are some great Crest Whitestrip items available as well, so your smile can sparkle in the New Year's Eve pictures.

You can save even more with some of the great bundles available as well.  I like this Keep It Fresh Bundle personally. 

There are some great deals going on site wide right now as well.  Right now, you can take 15% off your first order if you are a new customer by using code A9Z-MN5-KY3-ISA.  Also, there is free shipping on all orders over $25 and free samples are included in every order.  Avoid the crowds and lines and shop the P&G eStore today.

Have fun shopping in your PJ's while drinking your coffee!

Double Digits for the baby

Today my little boy turned 10. He's no longer the little baby with chubby thighs, or the toddler with a crazy menagerie of imaginary friends.  He's not even a little kid anymore.  He's entered the world of tweendom, and every moment I see the changes.  I've always watched the aging of my children with a combination of glee, excitement and dread.  I love them as their little selves, all cute and cuddly and innocent, but I've learned that I love them as their older selves as well.  I love see the lovely young adults they turn into, and enjoy having more grown up conversations with them.  But today I enjoyed the simple joy of a boy turning 10, and being showered with love by his whole family.  Because he is love and light and joy, and he deserves the best of days.  I thank the Universe, God, and whomever else I can think of for giving me this unexpected present every single day.

Failing again

I had hoped that the photo a day challenge would help me get back into this space, sharing our adventures.  Because I love having this small area to come back and look at.  And I made it until Thanksgiving, and then I crashed and burned.  And I've barely taken any pictures since then.  Part of that is due to the necessity of secrecy this time of year.  I'm sure I'll have lots to post of my new creations once they've been given. But no matter, I'm going to try and post more.

And I actually have one of my first truly sponsored posts coming up.  I'm excite to get a little paycheck from here, and it may actually make it so I can justify putting  a little more effort into this here blog.  I don't want to make oodles of cash, but I need it to be close to self-sustaining.  We'll see what happens.

Oh Christmas Tree - but not ours

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"My baby boy is in that group singing Christmas songs for the base tree lighting. #Christmastreelighting #Christmasmusic"
(taken at Dover Air Force Base Housing)

It's a party!

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"Watching some Scooby Doo with some friends. @sfclang "
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Sunsets

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"While going to work an coming home from work in the near dark sucks, the sunrises and sunsets have been spectacular. #nofilter #sunset"
(taken at Dover Air Force Base Housing)

Day 21 - what I wore

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"Day21...theme is what I wore, but I'm choosing to show you what my daughter dressed my namecard as. #Thanksgiving #fmsphotoaday #novemberphootoaday @ilang98"
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 20, work and play

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"Work and play...tabs for both, and some tabs are both by themselves. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 19 - Something awesome

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"Family dinner...my something awesome almost every night. #familydinner #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

As a family we try to sit down to dinner every night together.  We don't always succeed, especially now that the oldest has a job.  But everyone that is home sits down to eat together, no television, just food and conversation.  

Day 18 - Happened today

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"Spaghetti for dinner. Funny noodles for something different. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "

Day 17, something you bought

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"Last thing I bought...this shirt, which was comfy and cute. Catching up my photo a days...I took them but forgot to post them. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "

Day 16 - Out my window

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"Out my car window when I get home. I hate that it gets dark so early. The blue square is the Sirius transponder reflection. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday #outofmywindow"
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 15 - in my bag

Exercise class today, so my clothes are in my bag.

BHBC - My Life Map

This time, BlogHer gave us another unique book to review.  My Life Map is a journal, but not just any journal.  It's a journal designed to make you review your life, and to determine your future.  It's a book you need to write in, and think about.  

One of the things I appreciated about this books approach was that it made you also look at where you've been, not just where you want to go.  We need to stop and think about the things that have led us where we are and how those events can help us move forward.  Looking back isn't always easy, but this book helped by providing some guidance and tools for doing so.

This book is nice because it can be used by anyone of any age.  It's also nice because it can be revisited, and changed, at any time.  

I'm happy that I had the opportunity to review this book, and I'm hoping to spend some more time with my journal.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Day 14 - Man made

I'm stretching the subject a bit today.  Although this isn't man made in the sense of things like buildings and lakes, my hubby did leave this for me this morning.

Day 13 - Where you slept

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"Where I slept. But not for long enough. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

I want to get more sleep, but it always seems that I start working on my chores, and before I know it, I look at the clock and it's 11 pm. I have a feeling it's not going to change until after the Holidays.  I'll just have to get some sleep on the weekends and holidays I guess. 

Day 12- Drink

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"Drink. Coffee over vanilla ice cream. Yum #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 11- night

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"Finally finished 12 pairs of pj pants for the three kids. They'll all be wearing a pair tonight. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday #nofilter #sewing"
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 10 - Don't want to live without

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"I don't want to live without my iced tea. I think it flows through my veins. #novemberphotoaday #fmsphotoaday"
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 9 - Small

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"Trying to pick up@some crochet again. This is a small stitch. Maybe this time I'll learn how to do@more than make a scarf. Today's theme is small. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday #crochet"
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 8 - Everyday

Today's prompt was something you do every day. Every night I cuddle with my son, and it is truly one of the best parts of my day. We usually read side by side for 20 or so minutes, then snuggle and chat before I tuck him in. It's a great waynformhim to wind down and me to get some cuddles.

Day 7 - reflection

The theme today is reflection. And while I took this in the mirror, I prefer to think of the reflecting I'm doing on the theme of my shirt. This election caused even stronger divides than we already had, and the only way we are going to improve our country is to live united.

Day 6 - A Favorite Thing

My basement craft space is one of my favorite places to be. One of theses days I actually finish writing my post about it.

Day 5 - 5 O'Clock

Day 5's theme is 5 O'Clock.  Pretty much every day at 5:00, I'm in my car.  Either picking someone up or dropping someone off.  My Sirius is my life line...I can't stand commercials!

Day 4 - Television

The movie theater where I live offers the cheapest movies between 4 and 6, so that's when we try to go.  We went Saturday to see Wreck It Ralph, but unfortunately they sold out right before we got there.  So I bought our tickets for Sunday's showing.  Today's theme was tv, but I stretched it a little...movie screens are just big tv's, right?

We all loved the movie by the way.

Day 3- breakfast

Today's theme is breakfast. I have a Luna bar almost every morning. Breakfast is a hard meal for me. I don't like cereal, it doesn't last. I don't usually have time to make eggs or meat. Since I'm trying to get back on program and lose more weight, these are a great solution.

And my one cup of coffee a day with a touch of flavored all natural creamer. Ahhhh!!!

Day 2 - NaBloPoMo and November Picture a Day

The sunrises and sunsets around here lately have been gorgeous.  The whole sky lights up with the colors.  It makes me want to just stand and take it all in, but unfortunately I'm usually rushing from dropping kids off to work.  But I still make sure I take at least a minute to enjoy the beauty and appreciate the simple pleasure.  

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"Sunrise this morning. The pinks and oranges coloured the whole sky, making me feel like I was under a bowl. It was gorgeous. #novemberphotoaday #nofilter #fmsphotoaday"
(taken at Cubicle World)

November

So I signed up for a picture a day for November on Instagram, and then I signed up for NaBloPoMo again.  I figure if nothing else, I can post my picture each day...lol.  But I'm hoping to throw some real posts in there as well.

So Day one was something that starts with C.

Monster went with his dad to buy his first deodorant.  It is Cool Wave scent.  This makes me so sad...he's turning into a pre-teen, and I'm losing my baby.  Luckily, he still loves his mama to pieces.

BHBC: Diary of a Submissive

First, I have a confession.  I haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey, and I probably won't.  But when the opportunity to review Diary of a Submissive for BlogHer Book Club, I was intrigued. Diary of a Submissive is the true life story of a woman discovering her desires.  While it lives in the erotica genre, it's more than just a titillating read.

Sophie Morgan (a pseudonym) is a journalist who thrives on being independent.  But secretly, she wants to be submissive.  The story in this book takes us from Sophie's early life, through her college years (and her first spanking) through current day, sharing the journey she has taken to find her true self.  Behind the (sometimes steamy) tales of domination/submission, there is a story of trusting yourself, and finding the confidence to go after what you want and take some chances.  Throughout all of Sophie's relationships, she is pushed to the edges of her boundaries, and has to truly listen to her inner voice telling her what she can and can't handle.

I believe that I am a pretty open-minded person, and what other people do in their private lives is their business.  Reading this story confirmed for me that I would never make it as as submissive.  I do wish that there was more discussion regarding the mechanics of a dominant/submissive relationship.  While there was a quick discussion of safe words and normal nights, the bulk of the story was about the actual acts.

If you enjoyed the Fifty Shades series, you should read Diary of a Submissive.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Nuggets

There are so many things every day that I think I will write about, but I never do.  I'm not confident enough in my voice any longer.  I'm floundering with who I am.  I'm working on finding that confidence, so I'm forcing myself to write for now.

Most people make resolutions and changes on New Year's Day.  I feel that resolve in the Fall, when it's back to school.  I purge and clean, buying new notebooks and calendars, resolving to do better at staying organized this year.  It very rarely works, but I enjoy it none-the-less.  I have been on a cleaning/purging binge though, and my house is feeling better for it.

How about you?  Does your fresh start come in January or September?

Tightropes

My boy is nine.  It seems like just yesterday he was a mischievous little imp with a quick smile.  Now he's a messy boy, although still a bit mischievous.  In the past week, I've had numerous people comment on how big he has gotten, how much he has physically grown.  It's scary to be honest.  He's my baby.

He has discovered boy humor, and is constantly trying to insult his sisters (even though his insults are usually made up of nonsense.)  He is mostly loving, but prone to moments of grumpiness that I can no longer cajole him out of.  Luckily, he still loves his mama best, and he understands that no matter what, I'm there for him.

We had a young boy die in our school district last week, an apparent suicide at 10.  We've had a rash of suicides at the high school level in the last year and each one has shaken me, but this one, this one almost crushed me.  I don't believe that we knew the boy in any of our small groups, but it still is so upsetting.  How does a 10 year old even begin to think about their own death?  How sad must you be, what bad things have happened in your life?  All I could do was grab up my boy and love him, talking to him and making sure he knew how much I love him, how adored he is.

I work hard to maintain a relationship with my kids.  I try to walk that line...the line where your kids respect that you are the adult and are trying to do what is best for them, and them still wanting to be around you and talk to you.  It's like a tightrope, and I sometimes wobble.  Hopefully I haven't fallen completely off without knowing.

My baby girl turned 14 on Sunday.  I'm not sure how that squalling little baby girl is now suddenly a Freshman in high school, but there it is.

This child is my mini-me, not just in looks but in personality.  I always worried that it would make it difficult to be her mother.  It's usually volatile when you are so much alike.  But I have found that it's actually made it easier.  I can usually figure out what makes her tick, and when she needs to be pushed and when we need to just let her be.  It is eerie to hear my own teenage voice coming out of her mouth occasionally, but at the same time it's comforting.

This daughter has taught me so much about myself.  Most importantly, she's taught me to love myself, in a way I never could when I was a teenager.  She is confident in herself, and has no problem expressing herself or her creativity.  I was always afraid of being made fun of, and kept so much of myself hidden.  I'm not saying she doesn't have moments of self-doubt, or that there aren't things about herself that she wishes she could change.  She wouldn't be human if that was the case.  But she knows who she is and stays true to herself.

My main goal as a parent was to be sure that my children knew that they were loved, no matter what.  I wanted them to know affection, and that they could tell me anything.  I worried as we moved into the teenage years that this might be compromised, but I'm happy that my girl wants to hug her mama regularly, and isn't afraid to come talk to me about the hard situations. I'm not bragging, or saying I'm doing a perfect job.  I'm saying that I'm doing the best job I can, and I'm confident that I'm giving my kids the best of me most of the time.

I am thankful every day for the opportunity to be her mother.  And I've learned to be thankful that I am the person that I am.

Not so out of my element

So a few weeks ago, I mentioned that the hubs and I were working at a music festival in our hometown. And it was an amazing event.

The inaugural Firefly Music Festival  was a great weekend full of music and interesting sights. The entire weekend went by in a flash, but glimpses of it will have to keep me moving towards next years event.

It sounds funny to say that it was a peaceful event, since the music was anything but peaceful.  But it really seemed that everyone there just wanted to enjoy some great music.  While I saw a lot of interesting sights, and yes, I probably even silently thought they were crazy, there was an overwhelming attitude of acceptance.  Maybe we were all on a contact (or non-contact) high, but the craziness just made it more fun.

There were people with hula hoops, butterfly wings, and crazy hats.  There was a guy in a speedo, a guy dressed as a Hooter's girl, people in banana and taco costumes, people that hadn't bathed all weekend, and people dressed like they were about to get on a yacht.  But when the music played, it didn't matter.

I worked behind the main stage, and got to see and chat with quite a few artists.  Imagine Dragons were awesome performing, and they were great backstage as well.  The Flaming Lips are true entertainers, and I loved watching them walk by.  Fitz and the Tantrums rocked the stage, and they were rocking backstage as well.  I discovered Mayer Hawthorne, and loved him.  Grouplove, Ok Go, and many more.  But the best shows of the weekend?  The Black Keys on Sunday night was awesome.  Everyone knew it was the last moments, and the crush of people was amazing.  I've been in large groups before that sucked, but this group was of one mind...rock out and suck the last bit of enjoyment from the weekend.

But even better was the Killers show on Saturday night.  They ROCKED.  Fireworks, great music, beautiful weather.  It was everything that it should have been.

The hubs and I have already purchased our tickets for next year, and I'm hoping we can arrange to take our kids.  No volunteering next year...I plan on rocking at every show I can.

BHBC: The Care and Handling of Roses with Thorns

I was so excited to be provided with an advance copy of this book.  When I opened the picture, the cover was such a gorgeous color and I was excited to get started reading.

The Care and handling of Roses with Thorns follows a small period of time in the life of Gal.  Gal is a science teacher with kidney disease who wants to create a new type of rose.  She is a very frank person, often saying exactly what is on her mind and seeing things in black and white.  She doesn't always understand why people get upset, since she is usually correct.  Her life is changed when her teenage niece is unexpectedly sent to live with her.  Gal must learn how to be more flexible and begins to see the world in color.


This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own. 

Out of my element.

So, there's this huge new music festival being held where I live this weekend, and the hubs and I decided to sign up to volunteer. We paid our paltry fee, ($20 compared to $218 for a ticket) and have been waiting with a mixture of worry and excitement.

We were told to expect an email mid June with our job assignments. A few weeks after that, we finally received said notification...floaters. WTH? Oh well, as long as I didn't end up with trash duty I was fine.

Today we went to credentialing to check in. And man did we score in the job area. I am a traffic control specialist. I will be handling the golf cart traffic behind the main stage. I will get to work with the production team and see the main stage artists before and after they go onstage. The hubs gets to be a VIP area clicker. He's basically a bouncer for the VIP area where he can watch the shows.

We live just a few miles away, so we plan to go home and sleep every night. But when they offered free camp sites, we thought it might be wise to snag one for a base camp during the day. Setting up the tent tonight made me feel old. An a bit nostalgic. But then I realize that my age may have helped me score the better placement and I'm all good with it.

I'm mostly an introvert. I hate small talk. The Internet is one of my favorite places to meet people since I can get all the awkward out of the way without the face to face scariness. This whole weekend will be a step outside my comfort zone. Bring it on.

It's a hard knock life

I read quite a few blogs.  It seems like every one is struggling with big life issues right now.  Divorce and sick kids.  These aren't blogs that started with this life issues.  But wow is it prevalent.  Perhaps it's a side effect of the reason economic pressures, perhaps it's just a fact of life.  

I understand how these things happen.  You think you're going along doing okay, and then the little things build up, and then they aren't so little.  And at some point, you have to decide if it's worth trying to fix things. And sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it is no.

Lately, my whole life feels chaotic.  I'm trying to take some time this summer to enjoy the little things in life, to fully live in the moment.  And I'm trying to get my kids to do that same.

How about you?  Are you enjoying the little moments?

BHBC: The Artist's Way Toolkit

I had never heard of The Artist's Way before being given the opportunity to review this toolkit, but I jumped at the chance.  I've been interested in finding ways to better focus on my creative side, hoping it would open up my world and allow me more peace and time to engage that side of my personality.

The Artist's Way is a book by Julia Cameron and the online service is meant to be a toolkit to go along with the book.  I do not have the book, and have never read it.  I still found the toolkit useful.

Each day you are supposed to start with Morning Pages, which are 3 handwritten or drawn journal pages.  No subject is off limits, and you are supposed to use them to clear your mind.  I am horrible at these first thing in the morning.  I am one of those people that jump out of bed, shower, and start my day.  I've often fantasized about sitting on the back deck, drinking coffee and enjoying the peace and solitude, but it's just not available in my daily life.  I tried to do them, and failed miserably.  I love the idea behind them, which is to clear your mind and prepare you to embrace your creativity throughout the day, and now that school is out for the summer, maybe I'll try again a few days a week.  Or maybe I'll try them in the evening.

There are other components, and I find them interesting, but they just don't mesh with my life right now.  There are Artist's Dates for you to do each week.  This weeks is to go to the beach alone and leave all distractions behind.  I'm assuming these are the same for everyone using the service.  What if there isn't a beach near where you live?  What if your family would mutiny if they knew you went alone?  What if there isn't enough alone time in your life for that?  I wish you could choose from several options.

There are also sound bites, but those didn't really do much for me.  I'm a reader, and I hate listening to people talk.

I downloaded the app for my iPhone, and that is a huge plus for me. Finding time to sit down at my computer might be difficult every day, and staying focused while one...well, there's always Pinterest and Facebook to tempt us, am I right? But I find I'm much more likely to focus if I'm opening an app on my phone.

I think that this toolkit has some great components, and for some people it would really work.  At this time, it's just not the tool I was looking for in my daily life.

Read other reviews and join in the discussion at BlogHer!

This is a paid review, I was compensated and given a free trial to the toolkit, but the review is my own thoughts and words.

Life is...

Busy, as it seems it always is for everyone.

Not always beautiful.  Sometimes it's messy and gross, but still so worthwhile.

Better than the alternative.

Give a little?

Today, via Girls Gone Child, I found another adoption story with a Paypal donation button.  And while I don't begrudge people trying to raise money for their adoptions, sometimes the growing trend of Paypal donation buttons can get a little tiring.  But I clicked over to the persons blog to read their story.  And I found out that this family is different.

First, I read about baby Elvie here.  Then I did a little clicking around, and discovered this page.  And what an amazing idea.  Instead of asking you to just GIVE them money, they are asking you to "loan" them the money.  You wont' get your money back, but instead, they will make a "loan" payment each month to a charity that their readers vote on.  Go, read.  I'll wait.

This is what people should be doing.  I know that not every person is in the position to make the loan payments at the time they are asking for funds, but so many come across as nothing more than begging.  How refreshing to find someone committed to making the world a better place in a financially responsible way.

BHBC: Lost and Found by Geneen Roth

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

In Lost and Found, Geneen Roth discusses her relationship with money before and after losing her life savings as a victim of the Madoff Ponzi Scheme.  Geneen has spent her life learning how to fix her relationship with food and then teaching others how to do the same.  In this book, she discusses how her relationship with money was fueled by the same feelings and beliefs that fueled her overeating.

Right after Geneen finds out about the loss of their life savings, she goes shopping while in New York City and becomes obsessed over a pair of glasses.  She makes her mother and husband come see the glasses and is convinced that her whole life will be better with those glasses.  Ultimately, a different sales clerk makes her see that those glasses aren’t what she wants, waking her from the haze of the obsession. This moment helps her start to understand how dysfunctional her relationship with money is, and how similar it is to her relationship with food.

This book was a little difficult to read, as some of the things she discusses hit close to home.  I've come away with a better understanding of my relationship with both food and money, and I'm looking forward to working towards making changes because of this awareness.

Creative much?

I haven't been doing much creative work lately, and I can tell.  So tonight I sat down and worked on a project. I have the template made.  And I'm hoping to knock a few practice items out in the next few days, and then maybe create a tutorial!  

I also need to get better pictures of my craft area and show you my favorite place :)

Life on the daisy

I know that it probably seems like the only posts I publish are paid book reviews any more.  I'm really trying to work more on that.  I plan on sharing some non-paid book reviews as well!

It's difficult to write about our daily lives now.  My daughters are 18 and 13 and the baby is 9!  They have their own stories, and I'm careful with what I share about them here.  And in all honesty, they are good kids.  The temper tantrums and battle of wills are few and far between nowadays, and of course, I've learned to let more go.

I always sort of dreaded the teenage years.  The eye rolling and knowing more than you.  Don't get me wrong, I own up that I totally deserved whatever came my way...I thrived on correcting my mom when I was younger. But surprisingly, I'm loving the teenage years.  I'm seeing the fruits of all those years of dealing with the temper tantrums and battles, and I'm enjoying them.  They are mostly sweet, with the occasional twang.  My girls are friends not just with each other, but with each other's friends.  They enjoy spending time together.  They include their brother when appropriate, even though he can be an annoying pest at times.  They both have a good group of friends, and those friends have parents I like.  They get good grades, they are home when they are supposed to be, and they are where they say they will be.  I am blessed and I know it.  I also make sure that they understand that they have more freedom and opportunities because they have earned my trust.

The Monster is a typical 9 year old boy.  He still loves me with all his might, and even when he's mad at me he can't resist a good hug.  It pains me at times to see how big he is getting...those teen years are coming fast at me with him.

My job is frustrating a lot of the time right now, with the occasional rewarding moment.  We've made some new friends, and spring is hopefully arriving.  Life is good on the Daisy right now.

BHBC: Diary of a Mad Fat Girl

What's a girl to do when her two best friends get themselves into trouble?  Rescue them, of course.

Graciela "Ace" Jones has loved the same boy since she was eleven, and still has the same best friends since then.  When one friend is fired over false accusations, and the other hits a personal crisis, Ace finds herself in several interesting situations trying to help her friends right the wrongs that have been done to them.

I very much enjoyed Diary of a Mad Fat Girl.  I could relate to the characters and laughed out loud at some of the situations Ace and friends found themselves in.  The only thing that bothered me was when Ace referred to herself as fat.  I understand that most of what she talked about was real, but while I could relate to the words she was saying, ultimately, I revert to the picture on the front of the book, and that looks like a healthy woman's legs to me.  Maybe that isn't what Stephanie McAfee had in mind when she imagined Ace, but that is what is in my mind as I read the book.  As someone who has struggled with weight issues, and the negative self-talk that follows, for most of her teenage and adult life, I hate when I read or hear other people disparaging someone who isn't really heavy.

I'm hoping there will be more stories from Stephanie McAfee, maybe even involving some of the characters from Diary of a Mad Fat Girl.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Ponderings

Why do people hate on Nickleback so much?  I'm not a die hard fan, but I don't find their music offensive.

Why is February the shortest month but it seems to last so long?

Why do people plan big events on holidays and special days, even if they don't celebrate them?

Why is it always a sunny, warm, gorgeous day on Thursday and then cold and rainy on Friday and Saturday?

Pecked to death

I was having one of those days yesterdays...the ones that make you feel like the Universe, and all it's cosmic glory, is against you.  Nothing major or big happened, just a bunch of little things, over and over again.  I was complaining to a friend last night, and he sent me back this gem:

Sometimes it's easier to get eaten by a tiger than to get pecked to death by ducks.

That sums up my day yesterday.

But today, I kept waiting for that crouching tiger.  The ducks hadn't quite finished me off, and it smelled fresh meat.

Sunny Days

So I started a couch to 5K program a few weeks ago.  I HATE running.  Despise it.  Running makes my body scream and yell at me.  But just once, I want to run. I want to feel like my body is capable.  I'm not delusional, I won't be running any marathons, but a small 5K?  I should be able to do that.

I just completed week 2, and will be repeating that week starting on Saturday.  My lungs are screaming by the 1 minute mark.  Not acceptable.  I will beat them into submission if I have to.

I need to track, I need to feel accountable.  So I'm putting it out here.

One month down...one year down...one day down.

January is a tough month for most people.  It's dark, dreary and cold.  Your resolutions that sounded like such great ideas at the beginning of the month are either long gone and fueling your guilt or have totally turned into a chore.  Movie and music releases are slower, television shows are in reruns, it's all glum after party let down.

February, you start to pick up a bit.  You picture the good things ahead. You either look forward to Valentine's day, or you look forward to boycotting and complaining about it.

Today is the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death.  She was my last living grandparent. She watched me when I was a small child, helping me with my homework and scraped knees.  She wasn't the grandmotherly type, often issuing rules that made me mad.  But I always knew she loved me.

I remember my grandparents buying me a doll house for Christmas one year...a huge monstrosity wooden kit.  My grandparents quickly realized that this was way above their skill set, and returned it for a pre-fab pink plastic one.  But she took the extra money and bought a wooden furniture set.  The miniature pieces required assembly with glue and stickers and paint.  My grandmother sat at the dining table with me working on those tiny pieces, mumbling under her breath, after school for weeks.  I loved them.  I played with them for years, and my girls played with that dollhouse for a few years.

I am a reformed pack rat.  My life changed many times growing up, and holding on to things gave me a sense of peace.  As an adult, I've had to learn how to let go of those things, whether thanks to a flooded basement or a general lack of space.  The things I keep now must be very special or beautiful or functional.  I still have that furniture, in a shoe box in a plastic tote.

My  grandmother was very difficult in her later years.  My mother and her never had an "easy" relationship, although they would both argue that it was the best it could be.  The stories her friends told at her memorial helped me remember the fun things about her.  And time has allowed me to pull those memories up more readily.  And I've seen some of the things I get from her.

Today, I miss my grandma.  I'm not sad that passed, as she lived a long life.  But I do wish that I had taken the time to learn more about her from before she was my grandmother, before she was a wife and mother.  I wish I had thanked her more often for the memories she did give me.

I think I need to visit with my furniture tonight.

BHBC - Why Women Need Fat

When I first opened Why Women Need Fat, I sighed a little inside.  I see these type of books, and they intrigue me, but then I start reading and after struggling through a chapter or two, I lose interest.  I might pick it up here and there trying to get through it, but it's slow progress.  And the first chapter or two, I felt that slight intrigue, but was still worried.  Not to mention, another diet book...really?

But once I got started, I actually wanted to read this book.

The authors believe that we need to go back to a diet similar to that of our ancestors...hunters and gatherers.  The explosion of Vegetable fats in our food has created a surplus of Omega 6 in our bodies and an extreme deficit of Omega 3, which ultimately causes our body to crave more fat.

As I read the various points they make, I found myself nodding my head in agreement.  My husband and I have been working towards eating a more natural diet for the last several years, striving hard for moderation.  A peak inside our cabinets will show that we have a ways to go, but slowly we are making a dent.  We've discussed how different girls bodies are than when we were their age, including the large number of teen girls with belly rolls.

I do wish that the authors would have at least acknowledged that it wasn't just the diets of our ancestors, but the activity levels as well that helped them to be thinner.  I also would have liked to seen moderation discussed a little more...butter is fine, but we shouldn't eat sticks of it every day.

I'm not sure that reading this book will create a radical change in my diet or thinking, but I do believe that it will help me be even more informed when reading food labels, and allow me to make better choices for my family.

Disclosure Statement: This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own 

Sick

I owe you week one's uploads, but I'm sick and trying to finish a book for a book review.  I'll be in later this week with week ones.  That's the nice thing about creating my own challenge, I can be flexible.

Happy New Year!

I don't really like the idea of resolutions. They never last. But I do plan to continue a few trends this year.

First, I am more committed to my weight loss journey than I was before. I have a taste of the person I used to be, and I plan to find her, then re-mold her into something even better. I have plans to shake up my work out routine, and I'm seriously considering a couch to 5K in a few months. I will eat healthy and I will feel better.

I am also committing to becoming a better photographer. I have a very nice camera and I need to use it more often. And when I don't have it, I will use my iPhone and that will be okay. I've been thinking about doing the 365 project but shuddered at some of the guidelines. Taking the pictures isn't the issue so much as uploading them is. So I'm creating my own 366 project (it is leap year). I'm going to do a 366/52.2 project. I will take some sort of picture every day. I will commit to uploading and posting about it once a week. I have created a group in Flickr here and will be posting the pics there and here. I may post them there more often than once a week, but I will post them here every Monday. Join me if you like!

Today we cleaned the house of all it's Christmas decorations.  And the shed and garage and back porch.  And got the laundry done.  I'm tired.