The Summer of yes.

Over the last year and a half, I've taken a hard look at myself and my life.  I live a good life, with sweet kids and loving husband.  I have a decent job and a nice house.

But somewhere along the way, I lost me.  I created a new me, but she wasn't actually all me.  Parts of her were what I thought an adult, a mother, a wife should be.

When I had babies, I stopped wearing all the jewelry because it got in the way.  And over time, it just became natural to not wear it.  I wore more conservative clothes, because I wasn't comfortable in my skin, and I didn't want to draw unwanted attention.  Mothers aren't like that you know.

I kept some activities for me, but my life revolved around my family.  I gave up opportunities and fun times to be there for my kids.  And I don't regret that at all.  I love and adore my children, and they deserve parents who are present.

But sometimes, those parents should get to be their own person, not just someone's mom.

I turned 40 this year, and maybe some would say I'm having a midlife crisis.  I decided I was living the summer of fun.  The summer of yes.

I have made plans with friends, gone to concerts and the beach, I'm getting another tattoo, and I've colored my hair crazy colors.  I'm wearing my crazy bracelets and went to Warped Tour with my teenager.  I'm listening to music I used to love and just generally rediscovering that person I used to be.  I'm still there for my kids, and I'm still responsible at work.  I'm just re-prioritizing my spare time.  And me.

I'm trying to teach my kids to be their authentic selves, and to live their life to the fullest.  But they won't learn that lesson if I continue to pretend, and play it safe all the time.

So this summer, I'm saying yes.

Beautiful is as beautiful does.

Have you seen the newest Dove ad that's gone viral? It shows women coming in and describing themselves to a sketch artist, and then someone they just met coming in and describing them to the same artist.  The women are brought back in to review both sketches.  Of course, the sketches are different, with the ones done when describing themselves being "worse."

It's become a controversial spot.  A lot of people feel empowered by it, realizing they need to see themselves in a better light.  Others find it wrong, relying too much on our physical beauty and not enough on what "really matters" in life.

And they are both right.  Beauty matters, and how you live your life matters.  Don't think beauty matters?  Go watch that video of Susan Boyle's first performance on television...see the mocking and doubt many show because she isn't what people believe is beautiful.  Sure, people fell in love with her voice, and it made them a little more accepting.  But I guarantee you three things:  1. if she didn't have such a lovely voice, people would still be making her the butt of jokes, 2. People are still making her the butt of jokes, just not as meanly, and 3. People have told and are probably still telling her that she could be lovely, beautiful if only she would...  And that is usually the voice we hear over and over again in our head.

When you tell someone they would be beautiful if they would just lose weight, cut their hair, wear a little makeup?  You may be well-meaning, but you've probably now put that voice in their head for the rest of their life.  They will focus in on that one thing and will judge how other people are judging them by that measurement.

I don't tell my kids they are beautiful every day.  I tell them when they look nice (and when they need to shower...sigh).  I tell them when they are smart, when they do something kind, and when they are silly, not-so-smart and mean.  I try to temper those comments, making sure they know that the positives and negatives balance.  I want my children to grow up to appreciate the total package they are...in looks and actions.  So I will discuss this article with my kids.  I will also discuss how sexist the Axe ads are, and how men and women aren't as stupid as commercials make them out to be.  Mostly, I will do my best to make sure they know they are beautiful in their own way.

everything old is new again or something like that

I went to Target yesterday to pick up a few necessary items, and as usual, I strolled through the women's section just to see what they had and look for some clearance goodies.  I didn't score on the clearance, but I noticed that it looked a lot like a Target store in the 1980's.  Either Neon or pastel colors, shirts with shorter front hems than back, leggings, skinny jeans, denim jackets.  I owned all these items at some point in the 80's.

This isn't new.  I know that...trends cycle through.  But I've noticed it more and more.  As a child/teenager in the 80's, I hated to be seen in something homemade.  Lots of families in my (poorer) area had spindle tables.  Those were the big wooden spindles left over after the electric company (or cable or what ever other company there was) ran the cable.  Lots of people grabbed them and used them as outside furniture.  Because they didn't have a lot of money.  And lots of other people made fun of them.

Have you looked at Pinterest lately?  Today it's Pallets.  Oh good gravy, the things people make out of pallets now.  And here's the things...those pallets are gross.  And are made from inferior wood that could contain chemicals that harm you.  Yuck.  I'm all for recycling and reusing, but I also believe in common sense.

I'm happy to see that handmade is gained some ground.  Handmade IS awesome.  Home grown is good, and recycling benefits us all.  But not if you destroy tons of other items in the process.  And not at the detriment of your health.

BHBC: Touch and Go

I was asked to review Touch and Go by Lisa Gardner as part of the BlogHer Book Club. This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own

A family disappears in the late hours of the night.  No ransom note, not a lot of motives...what happened?

Touch and Go by Lisa Gardner is the story of the Denbe's kidnapping and the hunt to find and save them.  Along the way, various characters stories are woven in, including the investigator, Tessa Leoni.  Tessa is a character from an earlier novel, and now I'm beginning the series at the beginning.  Not because I needed to go back and catch up to get into the story, but because I enjoyed this story this much.  This book kept me hooked, and caused me to stay up a little too late a few nights.  Full of twists and turns and human characters, it will keep you involved until the very end.

Come Join us at the BlogHer Book Club page for book discussions!

BHBC: Here I Go Again

I was asked to review Here I Go Again as part of the BlogHer Book Club. This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

If you could go back in time and revisit your high school self, what changes would you make? Lissy Rider gets that opportunity in Here I Go Again, the latest book by Jen Lancaster.

Lissy was the queen bee in high school, and has lived what she thought was a charmed life. But months before her high school reunion  it all comes crashing down. Lissy goes to her reunion trying to relive her glory days and regain her footing, but instead finds she has even lower to go. When the chance comes to go back to a small window of her high school years and make some small adjustments, she does. But when she comes back, those small changes have wrecked other people's lives. And while it appears that her life is now better, she realizes that it still isn't right. Can she go back again and make the appropriate changes?

When I received the book, the cover was so cute. A peak under the dust jacket reveals the cover is a picture of a cork board with objects from our high school days! This made me happy to have a hard copy of the book to read.

This was a quick and fun read. It had a lot of great references to the 80's, reminding my of my high school years, and it was set in Indiana/Illinois, which made me feel like I was back home. I especially liked how the story reminded us all that a little adversity in our lives can take us a long way. I think this would make a great Spring Break Beach read!

Finding myself on Pinterest

Uhm, so yeah, hi!  If you are here from Pinterest, welcome.  I'm sort of in shock here.

I'm not a very good blogger.  I enjoy messing around on here, and I have lots of ideas of things to share, but rarely find the time.  I happened to do a post on my solution for my jewelry, and holy cow, it somehow started getting pinned.

So I apologize for the not so pretty pictures on that post.  I work with the tools I have.  Since this blog brings in less than $100 a year in advertising and book club posts, I don't have the time and money to devote to pretty pictures and expensive equipment.  But I enjoy sharing and I will continue to do so.

And I'm still in shock.  I feel like hunching my shoulders and blushing and kicking the dirt in embarrassment :)

Books are my escape

I still remember the first chapter book I read.  It was Socks by Beverly Cleary.  It was a book one of my older cousins had, and I read it in First Grade. (side note...apparently that book was released the year I was born. Funny.)  That was the beginning of the end.  I began to devour books, reading all of Beverly Cleary's books, as well as all the big name books of that time, and anything else that sounded remotely interesting.  As I grew older, I went through phases...Stephen King and Dean Koontz, The Left Behind Series, Danielle Steele (that didn't last long) Romance novels, etc.  I go through small times when I just can't muster the interest, and then suddenly I find a long list of books I need to read.

Goodreads has been such a great find. It's a good way to find those books that aren't a best seller, but are so good.  You can find other people that like what you like in a book, whatever that is.

I joined the BlogHer Book Club because I love to read, and the idea of free books sounded awesome.  And what I've gained is some favorite books and some meh books.  But I've had the opportunity to review some genres I might not otherwise read, and find some authors I love.

Almost every night, my son and I crawl into my bed and read for 20-30 minutes right before bed time.  Sometimes he whines to watch television instead, but not often.  He pulls out his latest book, and I pull out mine, and we each quietly read together.  This has become one of my favorite times of the day and it helps me achieve so many small goals...more reading time for both of us, some quiet time to cuddle before bed, and less screen time.

One of the best epiphanies I had was that I didn't have to finish reading a book I didn't like (unless it's a paid review.)  I could just stop reading, and if I didn't wonder what happened, it was okay to stop.

I want to read a minimum of 30 books this year, from front cover to back cover.  I try to remember to capture all of them on Goodreads, but I think I'm going to add a column over there to the right as well.

What do you like to read? Do you like to discuss books after you've read them?  Are you on Goodreads?

on tragedy

I've purposely not thought too much about Friday's tragedy.  It's so simple for people to make this another battle in the war that this country is fighting.  I'm not talking about the war in Iraq or Afghanistan.  I'm talking about the war we are waging against our neighbors.  The arguing and the fighting about which side is right and which side is wrong.  The angry things we say and post about people, and the gross generalizations.  And it's easy for us to sit at our computers and post that things need to change, or to share those sweet little affirmations, pictures, etc on Facebook saying we won't forget.

And we won't forget.  But it will fade.  And we'll go back to our daily lives, taking those we love for granted as we scream about our beliefs.

So I will do what I can.  I will try to show grace an compassion to others.  I will try to stop myself when I begin to silently judge someone else.  I will attempt to live a life that is worthy of all that I have.

Holiday Necessities

With all the hustle and bustle this time of year, it can sometimes be difficult to handle the basic things necessary for daily life. Although you've gone to the store three times in the last three days, you still forget to buy the batteries and laundry detergent. Now you can shop the P&G eStore for those items and have them delivered to your home.

Everyone needs batteries this time of year.  You can get a 28 pack of Duracell AA or AAA batteries to keep those great Christmas gifts working.  And while you are there, you can enter to win a $100 prize pack of batteries in the Duracell Sweepstakes. Stock up now for all those snow days so that you aren't stuck at home with whining kids when their electronics need batteries and you are out.

With New Year's right around the corner, I'm sure we're all thinking about the resolutions we'll be making.  If better skin care is on your list, you should visit the Olay are of the site for some great products. I love Olay products...they work great but are still affordable. You may also be looking to whiten your teeth, and there are some great Crest Whitestrip items available as well, so your smile can sparkle in the New Year's Eve pictures.

You can save even more with some of the great bundles available as well.  I like this Keep It Fresh Bundle personally. 

There are some great deals going on site wide right now as well.  Right now, you can take 15% off your first order if you are a new customer by using code A9Z-MN5-KY3-ISA.  Also, there is free shipping on all orders over $25 and free samples are included in every order.  Avoid the crowds and lines and shop the P&G eStore today.

Have fun shopping in your PJ's while drinking your coffee!

Double Digits for the baby

Today my little boy turned 10. He's no longer the little baby with chubby thighs, or the toddler with a crazy menagerie of imaginary friends.  He's not even a little kid anymore.  He's entered the world of tweendom, and every moment I see the changes.  I've always watched the aging of my children with a combination of glee, excitement and dread.  I love them as their little selves, all cute and cuddly and innocent, but I've learned that I love them as their older selves as well.  I love see the lovely young adults they turn into, and enjoy having more grown up conversations with them.  But today I enjoyed the simple joy of a boy turning 10, and being showered with love by his whole family.  Because he is love and light and joy, and he deserves the best of days.  I thank the Universe, God, and whomever else I can think of for giving me this unexpected present every single day.

Failing again

I had hoped that the photo a day challenge would help me get back into this space, sharing our adventures.  Because I love having this small area to come back and look at.  And I made it until Thanksgiving, and then I crashed and burned.  And I've barely taken any pictures since then.  Part of that is due to the necessity of secrecy this time of year.  I'm sure I'll have lots to post of my new creations once they've been given. But no matter, I'm going to try and post more.

And I actually have one of my first truly sponsored posts coming up.  I'm excite to get a little paycheck from here, and it may actually make it so I can justify putting  a little more effort into this here blog.  I don't want to make oodles of cash, but I need it to be close to self-sustaining.  We'll see what happens.

Oh Christmas Tree - but not ours

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"My baby boy is in that group singing Christmas songs for the base tree lighting. #Christmastreelighting #Christmasmusic"
(taken at Dover Air Force Base Housing)

It's a party!

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"Watching some Scooby Doo with some friends. @sfclang "
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Sunsets

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"While going to work an coming home from work in the near dark sucks, the sunrises and sunsets have been spectacular. #nofilter #sunset"
(taken at Dover Air Force Base Housing)

Day 21 - what I wore

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"Day21...theme is what I wore, but I'm choosing to show you what my daughter dressed my namecard as. #Thanksgiving #fmsphotoaday #novemberphootoaday @ilang98"
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 20, work and play

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"Work and play...tabs for both, and some tabs are both by themselves. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

Day 19 - Something awesome

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"Family dinner...my something awesome almost every night. #familydinner #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday
(taken at Asylum de Lang)

As a family we try to sit down to dinner every night together.  We don't always succeed, especially now that the oldest has a job.  But everyone that is home sits down to eat together, no television, just food and conversation.  

Day 18 - Happened today

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"Spaghetti for dinner. Funny noodles for something different. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "

Day 17, something you bought

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"Last thing I bought...this shirt, which was comfy and cute. Catching up my photo a days...I took them but forgot to post them. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday "

Day 16 - Out my window

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"Out my car window when I get home. I hate that it gets dark so early. The blue square is the Sirius transponder reflection. #fmsphotoaday #novemberphotoaday #outofmywindow"
(taken at Asylum de Lang)