Friday, November 22, 2013

I still feel like that lost kid on the playground

I've been thinking about friendship a lot lately.  It's amazing to me how easy we let people slip out of our lives.  We get busy, and think we have plenty of time down the road, and suddenly weeks or months have gone by with very little contact.

This isn't the first time I've thought about this.  A few years ago, my feelings were hurt by a group of friends I had developed.  We were doing little nights out every few months to try and stay in touch.  Over time, people stopped coming.  Other friends, other activities became more important.  I tried to revive it and everyone was excited until it was actually time to get together.  And then they dropped out.  My feelings were very hurt...I wanted to spend time with these people and had made it a priority and they weren't.

I've been there.  I've let friendships fail. It's easier that way.  But I decided I didn't want to take the easier road.

Earlier this year, my feelings were hurt again.  I was excluded from a few group activities and felt the sting of rejection.  I wasn't the only one feeling rejected.  One of the members of this group kept telling the people complaining (I didn't complain, except to my husband.  I am an adult and know that I don't always have to be included, even if it does hurt my feelings.) that if they wanted to hang with their friends, make their own plans.  Stop waiting for someone else to do it for you.

So that's what I set out to do.  I made plans.  I invited people. I said yes whenever I was invited and could make it work.  I've had a lot of fun experiences.

But now, I'm feeling that sting of rejection again.  People are making plans and cancelling.  My texts go unanswered.

It feels like I care and they don't.  And it isn't just one or two people, it's a pretty large group.

I get it, life is busy.  Believe me, I know this.  But I also know we make time for those we care about.  And if you can't make time for me, I have to wonder if you care.

I'm not sure what the answer is here.  I've tried telling a few people that my feelings were hurt, and it's caused a rift.  So I'm back to sharing here, in this anonymous space.  Sometimes not having anyone read is a blessing.

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