Tired (GiST 14/365)

I'm tired. I'm so tired, we had pizza for dinner. So tired, that the remnants of dinner are still sitting there, waiting to be cleaned up. And tonight, the dishes aren't getting done. The trash will be thrown away, and leftovers have been put away, but my bed is calling, and I'm about to succumb to it's siren call.

I'm tired, and PB is tired, and that isn't a good combo. She didn't have a good night last night. She worked herself into a stomach/head ache again last night, and was up until 11 pm. I was trying to get to bed early, but obviously, that didn't happen. I admit, these spells try my patience. I know she misses her father, and I get it, I really do. But it frustrates me that she isn't using any of the techniques we've given her (and we've give her a ton of them.) I finally managed to get her calmed down enough to fall asleep, and then a bit later I finally got to go to bed. But then woke up an hour early to hear the wind threatening to take us away.

The office was hot as a jungle today, and I've been in a fog all day. By the time we were home tonight, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and go to sleep. I managed to order dinner, make the cookies for Monster's school party tomorrow, and bathe the kids and put them to bed. In there, PB and I had a little tiff. I reminded her that just because she was tired, I wasn't going to tolerate her arguing, backtalking or yelling a me. I suggested she might just want to go to bed. After her shower, she came down and apologized to me for pitching a fit. That was a sign that she's starting to get it, and starting to really mature.

I've fought the tireds all day, and I worked hard to set aside the tireds during bed time. I hugged, kissed, tickled and wrestled them into bed, laughing all the way. That's a good way to end this Love Thursday...remembering the joy in that love.

1. Talking to my hubby on the phone, even if shortly, today.
2. Tickles and giggles with my kidlins.
3. A yummy breakfast potluck at work today.
4. Tomorrow is Friday.
5. Getting a great deal on webkinz for my kids, so they are getting two each for Valentine's Day.

Sharing the love, finding it in the small things.

I think the blogosphere is a wonderful place, filled with mostly wonderful people.  And two of them proved it this month by starting two wonderful new projects.

Catherine at Her Bad Mother, BlogHers ACT Canada and several other sites has a new project called Give Good Blog.  Go on, read her whole post, it will explain it all much better than I can.

I don't do give aways (yet) and my review blog is pretty much non-existent, but I try to do good things.  And I love the whole idea behind this project, so I signed up.

Right before I found this post, I signed up to volunteer at a web-based mail charity.  I'm going to post more about it at another time, as I'm still in the approval and assignment phase and haven't actually started, but I want a way that feels like I'm giving to someone else in the world, a way that I can include my children, and I think this is it.

Also, a fellow wife in the unit told me that she needed to purchase bike gear for her husband (lights, helmet, etc.)  The bicycle and pedestrian councils run out of our office, and they give many of these items away every summer.  So I hit them up for some freebies for him, and we hooked him up.  Although it didn't cost me anything, I took the time to utilize a resource I had.  And it made me feel good.

The second project I've joined is Grace in Small Things.  From her inaugural post on her website

The world we live in is loud and harsh and bright and demanding, and it is easy to slide into a less than thoughtful survival mode in which we do what we have to do to make it through the day with the least amount of strife possible. This robs us of the time and energy to be mindful of ourselves and those we love and to recognize the grace that exists in small things.
It is with this thought that I am beginning one year of posts called "Grace In Small Things". Every day for 365 days, I will post a list of five things that have graced my life, either on that day or at any time in my life. Feel free to join me. Or mock me. Or, you know, do whatever's in your heart. You can start on whatever day you want, so if you come across this six months from now, don't let that hold you back.

So simple.  Reminds me that I'm supposed to be looking for the Blessings every day, and I've been failing at that.  So I'm starting again.

Today's Grace items:
1. Reading the second post in that short lived series, a post about my Monster.  And tearing up, because he's still that little boy, but getting so big so quickly.
2.  For my preteen daughter that still wants to cuddle with me and requires a special routine at bedtime.
3.  For my friends sweet little baby boy coming over to play with us tonight.
4.  For the reminder that while I love babies, I don't want anymore.
5.  For a warm house on a cold day.

Happy Love Thursday.  I'm going to start spreading the love all over the place, one day at a time.

Bah Humbug

Today was not a good day. I was feeling like a major grump, and had to work very hard not to take it out on those around me. And it started as soon as I rolled over and realized that we had all overslept by an hour. Then I remembered the meeting I had to go sit in this morning, and I sincerely just wanted to pull the blankets back over my head and hide away. And I hear the rain. That tells me it's a perfect day to do just that. But there is work to go to, children to take to school. So up I go.

I take the kids to school, and get to work just a little late. I was out yesterday handling several appointments, so I sit down and get busy catching up. I know I'm grumpy, but I just can't seem to shake it. I head off to the two hour meeting. I sit next to my boss, who is completely handling work while listening, and I'm struggling to stay awake. The meeting ends, and I have a voice mail message from PB's doctor...her blood work came back positive for the one bacteria, she needs to go on an antibiotic. So I give it a little time, and head out to pick it up. The crazy people at Target are weaving around the shoppers coming out, people are parked all wrong, and I feel the grumpiness overtaking me again. I head back, pick up he prescription, and laugh with the pharmicist over my grumpiness. They are nice to me, and I feel a little better. I stop and get a cookie and soda (I love their cranberry walnut oatmeal cookies...yummmy) and I feel a little better. Then I go out to the parking lot, feel frustrated, get in my car, see that I just missed my husband calling me, and look at all the people all trying to get where I am, but blocking me from getting out of the way. And all that feeling better starts to run down out of my soul.

It goes on. More people who couldn't park. A long line of traffic going nowhere at the one entrance to where my kids are. More rain. The stress of getting my house ready. (this getting it ready is a continuation of yesterday...I'll post about it tomorrow. I'm not feeling it today.)

Back in September, my husband was able to make dvd's of himself reading stories to our children through the USO. They arrived yesterday...the DVD and a copy of the book. My son lost it. He threw the book and dvd away, yelled and screamed how stupid it was, etc. I tried to talk to him about the anger and hurt and sadness. He didn't want to talk about. So I encouraged him to yell, to rant and rave. I taunted him a little...told him he could be louder...other people couldn't hear him. We did this for a few minutes, and then the anger left and my little boy cuddled up on me and started chattering and giggling with me again. A little later he asked to watch the dvd and read the book, and he loved it.

Days like this are hard. The time until he is back seems to stretch so far away. I wonder about the toll on the kids, on him, on me. I know that we will all be fine, that it will be good when he gets home.

Tucking him into bed tonight, he told me the story of a little girl doll who was bought at the store. She was very sad, because she missed her mommy. So the lady that bought her took her back to the store so she could be with her mommy. And I reminded him that he had his mommy right here, and I wasn't going anywhere. And he grinned up at me, clutched me around the neck, and declared that he loved me more than anything else in te world. All was right with my world again.

Happy Love Thursday everyone. I didn't think it was going to be one, but it sure ended up that way.

Nothing ever goes right when you're dealing with the military

My husband called me at 5:30 last night to tell me that he had landed in Maine.  He was supposed to be there for an hour or so and then move on to the next stop.  We headed out of Monster's martial arts class (post is coming soon...that's tomorrow's topic), dropped him off to his uncle, picked up PB and took her to the YA performance.  It was a very good show, but it ran a little late for a school night.  When it finally ended around 9:30, I looked down and found a message on my cell phone.  From my husband.  The one that wasn't even supposed to be in country any more.  His plane broke and they were still stuck in Maine.  They could be there all night.  At 12:30 last night, he called to tell me that they finally checked them into a hotel for the night.  Talk about anti-climatic.  How many times can you have your last conversation for a couple of weeks in one day.  Apparently, several.

He moved onto his next stop today.  I knew that contact would be limited over the next several weeks, so all I asked him was to let me know he got there okay if the opportunity arrived.  Another wife called that I'm friends with called tonight to let me know that they had landed at the next destination, and that he missed me and loved me.  They have a special calling plan as she has family in another country, so her soldier was able to call her.  It was a wonderful gesture...a gesture that a loving husband gives to show that he loves his wife.

Happy Love Thursday.  Absence does make the heart grow fonder...and mine was pretty fond to begin with.

Love is being bossy

Today is "National Boss Day." I didn't know this earlier today. When I was in with my boss earlier today, I noticed a very nicely wrapped package of candy on his desk, and I thought that I should go check the calendar. And then he gave me a list of a few things to get done before our 1pm meeting and I forgot all about it.

I went into my 10:30 meeting, and when I came out there was a lovely bouquet of flowers on my desk. The lovely ladies who work for me, who are all good employees anyway, had purchased them for me, along with two cards. They all wrote sweet things in the cards and they moved me to a few tears.

I was touched to know that what I strive to be (a caring boss that feels we are all on the same team) is how they see me as well. I really needed that today. It made my Love Thursday lovely.

Local Love

My swap buddy, LR Monkeytoes, sent me these awesome, gorgeous items from her home state of Michigan. I love everything, actually wearing the bracelet and carrying the tote bag today.  The tote is made out of some really soft material.  I want to rub it all the time...lol.  This was from the Color Me Happy Swaparooni group over on Flickr.  I always love the swaps...great themes and awesome gifts.

I'm a proud mama tonight.  The new Youth Center had it's ribbon cutting ceremony today, and my baby boy was on TV helping to cut that ribbon.  The new facility is awesome...I wish I was a school age child so I could stay and play.  Computers, craft/sewing rooms, new games, a huge gym, boom boxes in every room, comfortable furniture, a locker room.  It's all so gorgeous, and so exciting.  I can't wait until they all start actually going there Monday. It was already a great program, with great people, and now they have the facility and room to do all the things they've envisioned for years. 

Happy Love Thursday everyone.

Love is

PB is not having a good health month.  She's not overly sick in general, but it seems like it's all hitting her this month.  I have visited doctors with her more in the last 2 weeks than in the last year.  I'm hoping it's about done.  But that's what love does.  It sits in those waiting rooms, praying the germs don't spread, praying the fever goes, wishing and hoping for good health again.  It endures those sleepless nights, those soul sucking crying/whining gigs, the worry and fear.  It intensifies those feelings, but it make it all worthwhile too.

Love endures sleepless nights

I had a long post about PB's sleep problems, but Blogger ate it.  And I told it all in anothe post.  Just know, that love endures those nights, even when your child is well past the age of being awake all night. 

Loving the fruits of my labor (or showing love through manual labor)

As I think I mentioned, I painted the kids bathroom last week while they were gone. I LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE the results.  I actually don't mind using it now.   

This is when I was painting the bottom of the shelf my hubby built.  I put this up so you can see a better representation of the colors.

Here you can see the whole shelving unit.  It's a sailboat.  Isn't it cute?

And this, this is one of my favorite parts. 

I'm very happy with the color selection.  I went to the store on a whim and picked a yellow.  Thank goodness it turned out.  The blue we had from Bug's room.  It all came together so nicely, and all the kidlins love it. 

Happy Love Thursday. (on Friday)

Love Thursday...postponed until Friday

It'as late, I had 10 other women in my house until an hour ago, and my hubby just put our bed back together. I'm going to crash into, and I have a great love thursday post. It will just be posted on Friday. Night

I love Kirtsy

A month or so ago, a little site called Kirtsy held a contest.  A contest about video games called kirtsy hearts video games week!  I commented about my favorite video game, and promptly forgot about.  Until a few weeks later, when I happened upon the contest page for their new contest.  And then I remembered to check the winners of the first one.  But they weren't posted yet.

The next day, I opened my email, and to my surprise, I won.  I couldn't believe it.  Both of my girls and my husband have DS's, and I sometimes grab time with them, but now I have my own.  I'm so excited.  And I've been eyeing Brain Age 2 since it came out.  And yesterday I came home to a box on my porch.  I opened it up, put it on to charge, and just before bed I played it for the first time.  I love it.  There's a training mode that is music, and it's so much fun.  Of course, I have a really bad Brain Age, but that's going to change soon.

I love video and computer games.  I have since I was a young child playing Atari.  I can waste hours playing games online.  Now I can waste hours other places, too!

What video games do you like?

Local Love

Sign ups are going on now for the newest swap in the Color Me Happy Swaparooni over on Flickr. This is a great group of women, and the swaps are always interesting. It's a good way to meet new people in the blogosphere that you might not normally hear about, and to learn more about these people than you might otherwise be able to. And shopping for someone is fun, especially knowing something is going to come your way that is just as cool.

Read all the rules before you sign up. You won't be sorry you joined!

It's Thursday already?

I spent some quiet time this evening while my family was off riding the rides at the fair. I played Wii. It was awesome to play the Wii and not have to share it with anyone else, or have anyone else giving input, or asking if it's their turn yet.

That's my Love Thursday

Insert a succint bad word here

Someone opened my car door in the middle of the night and stole my sirius transponder and the remote for it out of my car last night. Apparently, they hit the neighborhood. So, here we sit, waiting for the helpful state trooper to get to us.

How stupid these kids are (because we're pretty sure it's a group of teens.) These transponders have serial numbers. We've reported ours stolen to the company. It can't be activated now. It's useless. They didn't take anything else, but there really wasn't anything else worth taking. I don't keep change in the car, and the two CD's are my kids Veggietale CD and an old one of mine.

But I'm angry. I have to live without my Sirius until my replacement transponder comes in. DDS called, and I was pleasantly surprised. They aren't at fault, and my transponder was 3 or 4 years old, but they offered us a free one of the previous generation, or the newest generation at a deep discount. And they're giving us 2 months free to cover the time we are without.

But dang, I love my Sirius. It's what makes my drive bearable. ARGHHH!! Happy Love Thursday.

Not your typical MIL

I've mentioned my MIL on here before, and I hope that my appreciation of her came through. Today, I'm going to tell you why.

My MIL doesn't try to be my mom, and she respects that fact that I am her sons wife. She remembers that I control the grandkids, and that if she wants to see them, she has to stay on my good side. Luckily, that is easy for us both. My MIL (and my mom and SIL) all participate in a game night once a month. They are all there because I invited them to come. Occassionally, I want to complain about something one of them has done and it's difficult, but that is because we are all human.

When DDS and I were first together, she didn't want me to marry him. It wasn't about me, it was about him. A few years ago, she told me that him marrying me was the best thing he could have done. I was so touched. I love my husband, and my children, with my entire being. They are truly my everything. To have someone validate that in such a strong way really made me so very happy.

She is always willing to babysit our kids. We had to make it clear very early on that we were offering her (and now my mom) rights of first refusal. We were always willing to find a babysitter, we just ask them first. That way they get the opportunity to have fun with their grandkids, and we get some time away.

She is human, as am I, and sometimes she drives me crazy. But loving someone means that you look past their faults and quirks, and appreciate what they do for you. And I appreciate that I have the best MIL.

Happy Love Thursday.

Spoiled for Summer

I've had a hectic, not so good day. And I came home to find an adorable box of goodies from my swap buddy! I was so excited to see what the box held.

And wow, was I spoiled. Perfect things for me! There's 2 big beach towels, a cute little bag, some sticky notes, a neat bracelet and ring, a keychain hand sanitizer, some Sharpie marker, cute scissors, and two cute cards.
Thanks Bethany! I love it all! I hope you've received yours!

My beautiful set of wings.

Every night before I go to bed, I check on my babies. They have their iPods connected to little cat speakers to fall asleep with music. Last night, when I went to check on Monster, Tim McGraw's Last Dollar was playing. And listening to the chorus while watching him sleep, I was struck by the meaning of those words.

"123, like a bird I sing, cause you've given me the most beautiful set of wings.
I'm so glad you're here today, cause tomorrow I might have to fly away."

Enjoy today, and the gifts that our loved ones give us. My children and husband have brought so many good things to my life. They've made me a more confident person, given me a better appreciation of the many blessings I have. Monster has taught me to use my imagination, and PB has helped me find my patience. They've all taught me to be silly, and enjoy every day, because tomorrow, I might have to fly away.

I hope you all have a chance to sing on this Love Thursday.

I'm loving these!

I found a really cute tea towel the other day at Target, so I decided to find something to make out of it for Bug. Quickly it hit me...a tote bag. So I perused several other stores and found a cute towel for PB as well...and ended up making a matching one for her friend.

A little monkey business on this one for Bug.

And pretty turquoise and green butterflies for PB.

Of course, then I had to figure out something for the Monster...and a tote bag, it's not so manly. So I found some of his daddy's ACU material and threw together a little drawstring bag for him.

They were all a big hit. I'm seriously considering starting an Etsy shop with bags. I've re-discovered my love of bags, and in that, my ability and love for creating them.

Happy Love Thursday.

The best day in life (I'm totally bragging on my girls here)

Today was the last day of school and my girls have had it good. The last day is always a half day here, so there's that from the get go.

PB had her awards ceremony this morning. Apparently the school sent home the schedule last week and I missed it, and so we weren't last night what time it was this morning. Before bed, I broke the news that no one would be there. She was disappointed. My mom called the school this morning, found out what time, and booked it over there so she could be present. PB received Honor roll for the year and Citizenship, which entitled her to a water ice coupon (she ended up with 2 actually) and a Chick-Fil-A coupon. And here I will totally gloat on my child. She received straight A's and Outstandings in all her subjects for the year. Yay PB! Once school was out, she went to the Youth Center and hung out with her friends doing fun activities and listening to the music.

(Side bar...one of the staff members is a DJ on the side, so sometimes when they have half days or whole days off, he sets up the sound equipment in the gym and pumps the tunes through the whole building. They love it. Yesterday, I watched a little girl bumping her hips from side to side as she walked down the hall. They can't resist that beat...lol).

Next we went to get her brother from "school" and as we were leaving she found a four leaf clover. When Daddy got home, we agreed that we should almost frame that report card, and he pointed out that her report card said AOOOAOOOAOOOAOOO which had a nice sound too it. That became the mantra for the rest of the night.

Bug (who lately should be drama queen) has also done awesome this year. She has had straight A's for her entire FRESHMAN year. We haven't received her report card yet, but she basically had to show up, write her name and answer a few questions off each of her finals in order to have an A in the class. Yesterday was her math final, which is her favorite subject. Her math teacher came over in the middle of the period (after she had turned her test in) and informed her that she had an A for the entire year before he even finished grading the multiple choice. The child could almost fail the test and still get an A. She was also given a task to handle before school yesterday morning, and she did it and did it well. I'm so very proud of her for that.

I love my girls, and I'm darned proud of them right now.

A beat of a different drummer

My Monster, who is definitely the baby, has always been a unique person. He is neither a follower or a leader. He prefers to small groups or his own company, but is content to deal with crowds at times as well. Kids his age don't flock to him, but if asked, they all like him. He has a HUGE imagination and shares it freely with anyone who will listen. Luckily, we've only encountered people who appreciate his stories, and don't point out the flaws, or that dragons aren't real. (Good thing, since we live with 124 of them at last count).

So it was really no surprise to me when he asked for a mohawk last Saturday. His father asked him if he was ready for the annual summer buzz cut, and Monster impishly but matter of factly stated that he wanted a mohawk. So daddy took him out and gave him one. And he's very proud of it. Several people that know him pretty well have decided that it suits his attitude perfectly. And several others have commented on the fact that they couldn't believe we allowed him to have this hairstyle.

DDS and I believe that our children should be allowed to express themselves. They are finding out who they are, and I want them to have the freedom to explore and discover what that means. I always felt self-concious as a child, and would never have dared something so extreme. I'm proud that my kids are a little off the main stream sometimes, and that other peoples opinions of these things doesn't really bother them. PB has a really cute outfit consisting of a pink polka dotted shirt and madras plaid pink shorts. Sounds awful, but she sure pulls it off. I've heard several teachers, friends, and parents comment to her that they don't know many people with the ability to pull that off, but she does.

So here's to learning to love yourself this Love Thursday. It's something my children are teaching me.