Brightening up my day

This morning, the day was quickly becoming one of "those" days.  Numerous things, all minor, were piling up and making me miserable.  I called my husband to whine, while driving through the slushly, nasty snow.  I vented, and whined, and was not as nice as I could have been.  Then I called my mom, and whined to her.  I finally got to work, and I whined to my co-workers.

And then, I got a phone call to come to the front desk for a delivery.

My hubby had sent me these...



And suddenly, the day was brighter.

Now, we just need to remember to put in our request for the beach house in July, and life will be better.

He just gets better...

Today is my hubby's 39th birthday.  For so many years, he would get the "here's for Christmas and your birthday" speech from his relatives (not his mom and dad), and that just irks me.  So I try every year to make sure he has separate gifts for both.  Which would be easier to do if he didn't want such big expensive gifts...lol.

So today (or tomorrow...we are being total laze abouts here today.) we will be going to purchase a heater for his garage.  Then he has a place to go to escape the crazy teenage girls we have living in this house.

Next year, we remodel that garage and create your favorite place to be.

I love you.  Hope you enjoy your day all day today.  And quit stressing about age...it's just a number, and we all know that you are only as mature as 29 instead!

Ahhhhh....

DDS and I escaped to the mountains this past weekend and had a wonderful time away from it all.  No kids, no family, no cooking, cleaning or remodeling.  It was very nice.  We enjoyed the nice fall weather, beautiful scenery, and remembering the last time we were in this same place.  All in all, a very good weekend away.

Now it's back to the grind...time to finish all the remodelling and room changing going on here at casa de lang.

GiST 10/365

1. That I love my husband, and am still IN LOVE with my husband, even after over 12 years together and several military TDYs and deployments.
2. That my husband loves me and is still IN LOVE with me, still.
3. That my husband thinks I'm gorgeous and sexy.
4. That I'm learning to accept his compliments.
5. It was a beautiful day, and my car is clean.

This one's for my husband

Bah Humbug

Today was not a good day. I was feeling like a major grump, and had to work very hard not to take it out on those around me. And it started as soon as I rolled over and realized that we had all overslept by an hour. Then I remembered the meeting I had to go sit in this morning, and I sincerely just wanted to pull the blankets back over my head and hide away. And I hear the rain. That tells me it's a perfect day to do just that. But there is work to go to, children to take to school. So up I go.

I take the kids to school, and get to work just a little late. I was out yesterday handling several appointments, so I sit down and get busy catching up. I know I'm grumpy, but I just can't seem to shake it. I head off to the two hour meeting. I sit next to my boss, who is completely handling work while listening, and I'm struggling to stay awake. The meeting ends, and I have a voice mail message from PB's doctor...her blood work came back positive for the one bacteria, she needs to go on an antibiotic. So I give it a little time, and head out to pick it up. The crazy people at Target are weaving around the shoppers coming out, people are parked all wrong, and I feel the grumpiness overtaking me again. I head back, pick up he prescription, and laugh with the pharmicist over my grumpiness. They are nice to me, and I feel a little better. I stop and get a cookie and soda (I love their cranberry walnut oatmeal cookies...yummmy) and I feel a little better. Then I go out to the parking lot, feel frustrated, get in my car, see that I just missed my husband calling me, and look at all the people all trying to get where I am, but blocking me from getting out of the way. And all that feeling better starts to run down out of my soul.

It goes on. More people who couldn't park. A long line of traffic going nowhere at the one entrance to where my kids are. More rain. The stress of getting my house ready. (this getting it ready is a continuation of yesterday...I'll post about it tomorrow. I'm not feeling it today.)

Back in September, my husband was able to make dvd's of himself reading stories to our children through the USO. They arrived yesterday...the DVD and a copy of the book. My son lost it. He threw the book and dvd away, yelled and screamed how stupid it was, etc. I tried to talk to him about the anger and hurt and sadness. He didn't want to talk about. So I encouraged him to yell, to rant and rave. I taunted him a little...told him he could be louder...other people couldn't hear him. We did this for a few minutes, and then the anger left and my little boy cuddled up on me and started chattering and giggling with me again. A little later he asked to watch the dvd and read the book, and he loved it.

Days like this are hard. The time until he is back seems to stretch so far away. I wonder about the toll on the kids, on him, on me. I know that we will all be fine, that it will be good when he gets home.

Tucking him into bed tonight, he told me the story of a little girl doll who was bought at the store. She was very sad, because she missed her mommy. So the lady that bought her took her back to the store so she could be with her mommy. And I reminded him that he had his mommy right here, and I wasn't going anywhere. And he grinned up at me, clutched me around the neck, and declared that he loved me more than anything else in te world. All was right with my world again.

Happy Love Thursday everyone. I didn't think it was going to be one, but it sure ended up that way.

Update on my hubby

Daddylang has finally made it to Iraq. He starts his job Wed morning (which is actually now) and he is very excited. I'm hoping that it's everything he wants it to be. Lots of people feel stuck in their jobs, but in the military deployed to Iraq? Not thinking there's much of an escape there.

We sent him a box of Christmas decorations as his "present" since we were advised by the USPS to mail the package by 12/4 to get it there by Christmas. He received the package Monday morning his time, Sunday evening ours. That's 2-3 days. I can't mail packages 3 states away that fast. I'm glad he'll have longer to enjoy them. It's been hard to come up with presents, since he wasn't there to figure out what he needs yet. Hopefully he can supply us a list this week, and we can still get some more stuff there. His birthday is the 27th, so we have to get stuff there for that as well.

He posted today (I think) (this really does get confusing...lol) about the box he received, and posted a picture of his decorated tree. THis is the man that enjoys making our house look like the Griswolds. I know he is missing the decorating this year, and I put up some outside decorations in his honor this weekend. I have to admit that I do enjoy pulling up the house in the early evening dark and seeing the lights and blow ups in our yard. And I love how excited the kids are every single night about seeing it again. It's one thing I can do to help them feel like this topsy turvy time is at least somewhat normal.

Times are stressful here, I'm finally starting to feel better, but now PB has a weird rash and has been out of school all week. We go back to the doctor tomorrow for follow up and maybe results from the blood test next week. In addition, work is crazy, and I'm trying desperately to make as much for Christmas as possible, plus decorate the house. I need at least six more hours in every day.

This year, mostly, I pray that my husband is safe. And that my children can remember this time with pride in how we all handled this separation.

Goodness

Today, I'm counting the blessings I've had today. Today was the equivalent of Friday...no school or work until next Monday. PB didn't get her lesson, but she got to visit the pony and comb him. Monster got a strip for his belt, and had a great class with only one other kidlin there with him. We had yummy (and easy to make) spaghetti for dinner, the kids watched the Grinch, and I GOT TO TALK TO MY HUNNY! Yay.

Now I'm off to sleep as I'm passing out sitting here.

Nothing ever goes right when you're dealing with the military

My husband called me at 5:30 last night to tell me that he had landed in Maine.  He was supposed to be there for an hour or so and then move on to the next stop.  We headed out of Monster's martial arts class (post is coming soon...that's tomorrow's topic), dropped him off to his uncle, picked up PB and took her to the YA performance.  It was a very good show, but it ran a little late for a school night.  When it finally ended around 9:30, I looked down and found a message on my cell phone.  From my husband.  The one that wasn't even supposed to be in country any more.  His plane broke and they were still stuck in Maine.  They could be there all night.  At 12:30 last night, he called to tell me that they finally checked them into a hotel for the night.  Talk about anti-climatic.  How many times can you have your last conversation for a couple of weeks in one day.  Apparently, several.

He moved onto his next stop today.  I knew that contact would be limited over the next several weeks, so all I asked him was to let me know he got there okay if the opportunity arrived.  Another wife called that I'm friends with called tonight to let me know that they had landed at the next destination, and that he missed me and loved me.  They have a special calling plan as she has family in another country, so her soldier was able to call her.  It was a wonderful gesture...a gesture that a loving husband gives to show that he loves his wife.

Happy Love Thursday.  Absence does make the heart grow fonder...and mine was pretty fond to begin with.

I'll take "This person is an emotional mess" for $1000, Alex.

My hubby is on his way to Kuwait. There's so much that sentence doesn't say. It doesn't say that going to Kuwait is one step away from Hell for him. That for the next 2-3 weeks, we won't have much if any contact with him. The Holidays are arriving, and I'm not sure what I'm going to send to him, if it's going to get there. And his birthday is two days after Christmas, so I have to make sure that is ready as well. And this week, I've given myself permission to wallow in the depression some. I've allowed myself a couple of times to think about how very long the next 9 months will be. How much he is going to miss...how much we are going to miss. And it makes me sad, makes me angry.

PB is participating in a Young Americans workshop at the high school this week. Bug would have been able to participate if she had stayed here for the school year. This is not an event that happens often, so she probably won't have another shot at it. Monday night was the first session, and we had to bring the kids dinner for their break. I was there a little bit early, so I was able to sit in the audience and watch as the small groups joined into a big group and showed off what they learned. I sat there pretty much sobbing. Oh, I always cry a little when I go to one of the kids concerts...choir, band, school, whatever...Childbirth made me an emotional crazy woman. But those are just the normal little sniffly tears. This was full blown ugly cry (but quietly) and I was mortified. But I couldn't even talk...all I could do was sit and cry and hope no one was watching. I watched as Bug's friends and her sister stood on the stage singing...watched as they laughed and had a good time. And I ached for her. I was so sad that she was missing out on this experience. I was sad that my husband wasn't here to watch, to enjoy. That he isn't going to watch the show tonight.

Monster started Martial Arts last night. Another moment of emotion.

I'm still sad today. The alarm company had to send someone to fix one of our alarm sensors, and I think it's Gods way of making sure that I stayed home this morning. Because I am an emotionl mess this morning. I spent a good chunk of time on the phone with him this morning, as he rode the bus to the airport. Knowing that this could be the last chance I have to talk to him for weeks. Not having much to say, but not wanting to disconnect.

I know that it will get better. We have things to do, things to prepare to help pass the time. And I know that I have to allow myself the chance to feel and work through these emotions.

And for $1000, the "answer" the title? That would be "who is mamalang?"

Fun Monday - Talismans

Margaret from M is for Misanthrope is our hostess this week, and our assignment is:

Do you have a piece of jewelry or other item that holds great personal significance for you, and that you wear or keep with you every day? Show us a photo of your talisman, and tell us why it is so important to you.

I have a note that my husband wrote to me several years ago on a small hotel pad that I carry with my in my purse.  Everytime I touch/see it, it reminds me that he loves me.  I also have two cards that he gave me with flowers that help me remember where we've been and how we've come through.  The first card says "things will be better, Our cars may be broke, our house may be broke and we may be broke, but our love will never break."  That card was accurate...it was all broken.  Several years later, he sent me flowers again, and this card says "Once I told you that we might have been broke, not anymore, Our house was broke, not anymore, our cars were broke, not anymore, Last but not least, I love you, not any less but more and more every day."  Next to that is a series of pictures of us when we were engaged.  We were young, and broke, but we definitely had love.  And still do.

I miss you honey.

I'm so excited, and I'm having a hard time hiding it.

My hubby is on his way home.  He should be here any minute.  I'm so ready to see him. I'm excited to see the kids faces when he wakes them back up to say hello.  I can't wait to crawl into bed with him and cuddle into his arms.  And so, the rest will have to wait.  I can't keep it to myself much longer...hopefully he's home soon.

I just had to come back and add a little note.  I'm watching the CMA's while I'm waiting, and the lady who just introduced Carrie Underwood?  The widow of a hero?  That made me bawl.  Not just cry, but bawl.  I'm so impressed and awed by her composure.  I had hard time listening to this song before this, but now I don't think I can do it without crying anytime soon.  The power of music is amazing.

Fun Monday - Veteran's Edition

Jan is our hostess this week, and her assignment takes into account Veteran's Day tomorrow.

Since Next Tuesday is Veterans Day, I thought it would be nice to salute our Veterans and show our appreciation. Photo requirement of something patriotic.

I am truly grateful for our all of our Veterans, but the citizen soldiers of the National Guard rank a little higher in my heart. I personally see the dedication that these soldiers bring to the Guard. They put in long hours when most people are off having fun. They sacrifice their jobs, their families, their hobbies to serve. They are frequently given old equipment and supplies, since they only use them once a month. Training for real world situations wasn't always available before deployments became the norm. They are looked down upon by many of their counterparts in the full time Army. To me though, they are the true heros.

linky time

My hubby is still in the states, and will be coming home for a short pass this week. We haven't told the kids, as he wants to totally surprise them. Luckily, they only have half days Thurs and Fri, so they'll get a large amount of time with him.

This homecoming is bittersweet for several reasons. It will be nice to see him, touch him, kiss him. But it will be for such a short time. And the kids seem to be settling in, and this will restart that process for them. And it's not for good. But I am trying to make it a relatively stress free, normal time for him. We may even start the house decorating outdoors for Christmas.

He's posted two poems he found and enjoyed over on his site. Stop by and say hi. He doesn't get to post often, but I know he would enjoy a visit from you.

To my best friend

I can't believe we've been together almost 12 years, and married for 11 years today. When I said forever, I meant it. We've been through a lot in these past 12 years. We've definitely been through the sickness, poor and worse times. But we've always gotten through them together.

I know there are times I drive you crazy, just as there are times you drive me crazy. But we work well together. No matter what, I know you support me, even if you don't agree with me.

We've built a very good life together. We have three beautiful children, a nice house and cars, good jobs, and a fulfilling life. I am thankful every day that I said yes, that I've stuck through those bad times, poor times.

I really do feel lost without you here. I know that I can do it without you, but I prefer to do it with you. I know that in a few weeks, the routine will be set and most days won't be such a suck. But right now, today? It sucked. All I want for my anniversary is to hold my husbands hand, curl up in his arms, and have him tell me it will all be alright.

Next year, we will be spending our anniversary somewhere where I can just sit and do that. Preferably with someone to wait on us hand and foot.

I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Stay safe and come home to me.

Gone

I've just returned home from sending my husband off to war.  I've sent him off before, but never to war.  I've known this was coming, I've been preparing for it for a very long time.  But that doesn't mean it was easy.  The tears I hate came, and I tried my best to smile through them.  I hope I told him enough that I love him.  I hope he knows how much we will miss him.  I pray I am strong enough to do the right things for my children as they cope with the missing their father and their sister.  I pray that this year flies by.  I haven't allowed myself to think about a year.  I've looked at little pieces.  Tonight, driving home with my babies asleep in the back seat, I let myself consider it.  It isn't a pretty picture.  No more of that.

I know he misses us, too.  I know he's scared and excited and worried.  The most important thing for me to tell him now is that we love him very much, and we want him home safe as soon as possible.

I'm off to cuddle those babies in my bed.  Kiss your husbands for me, and tell them how much you love them.

The deployment, it is coming.

This weekend marked three weeks until my hubby begins his deployment to Iraq. Of course, he doesn't get to head straight there. He will spend some time State-side going through the necessary training, then several weeks away from the US, then finally they will actually begin their mission. We've known about this deployment since last summer. He will be gone for close to a year. He will miss all but one birthday (lucky PB!), our anniversary, Christmas, Easter, summer...and during that time he'll miss a lot of other smaller milestones. It sucks. I don't want anyone to ever think that I want my husband to be deployed, that I'm looking forward to this year.

But that said, this year represents an opportunity for us all. DDS will finally have an opportunity to really do what he has trained so many years to do. He may have a chance to teach courses, he will have the chance to contribute in a way that is meaningful for him. The children will have an opportunity to have their father involved in their life in a way he wouldn't be at home. And I have the opportunity to remind myself that I am a competent and capable woman.

I volunteered to be the FRG Leader for my husband's unit earlier this year. I think I shocked a lot of people, including my husband and myself, when I said yes. But in almost 11 years of being married to a soldier, I've learned a few things. And I want to help those spouses that don't already have that knowledge. Of course, there's also the benefits to myself. I've made friends I might not have made otherwise, I've learned more than I already knew, and I've made it so that I will have information early on. It's been frustrating at times, but overall, it's already been very rewarding.

We all know that the year will seem like forever, bu we are working out ways to make it go quickly. DDS has plans to read books that the girls will be reading, so that they can discuss them over email. Teachers are sending emails to him regarding classwork for them. Videocams have been purchased, set up, etc. and emails are being established.

It sucks, but we can't let that be the main focus for this year. We will remain positive (most of the time) and we will all be stronger from this experience.

A lovely weekend

So hubby and I got to go away for a marriage enrichment weekend with the Guard.  I think it's safe to say we both had a very good time.  We ended up sitting with 4 other couples and that became our "group" for the weekend.  If you had asked me who I would end up spending time with before that night, those people probably wouldn't have been high on my list.  Not because of them, just because there are other people that I've known longer and thought I would be more comfortable spending our time with.  Friday night we arrived and headed down to the bar area to meet.  The group we ended up sitting with in the class was the group there.  During the short session Friday night, we laughed and had a good time.  We were dubbed the fun table by one of the leaders.  Class ended around 9:00, and we all retired to our rooms and were asleep in very short order.  It had been a long week.  Saturday morning we had breakfast and sessions until lunch.  We were, again, the fun table.  The agenda was pretty much thrown out the window, and some spouses were dragged out of denial of this deployment.  At one point, my hubby and another guy were playing "football" with a wad of paper.  One of the speakers snapped their fingers, and they both jumped and slapped their hands down on the table.  They looked like little boys caught misbehaving at school.

After class, we all headed to lunch together, and we all enjoyed ourselves.  Conversation flowed and there was a lot of laughter.  We headed back and most of us took naps.  That evening, we ended up going to dinner together, and again we all had a good time. 

I'm glad that I had time with my hubby without the stress and pressure of work.  I'm also thankful that I had the opportunity to create relationships with some of the spouses I may not have previously done so with. 

And that fact that it was entirely free for us?  Even more awesome.

Leaving

Hubby and I are getting away this weekend for our last getaway before he deploys.  We'll be back Sunday.  See you!

Totally Tuesday

Ms. PB had another one of her bedtime episodes last night.  I finally just had her crawl into bed with me, that way when she woke up, I could comfort her and we would both be back to sleep in minutes.  It helped, but dang I'm tired today. 

Last night was Bug's Parent Info Night.  Her teachers all seemed like good people.  Her science teachers were both a bit off (it's a team teaching class.  Two teachers, some kids that are very good academically, and some kids that aren't.  Bug is very good academically, without having to work too hard at it.  That will bite her in the butt in a few years.  I digress).  The team teaching is good for her, as her best friend gets to be in her class, when she otherwise wouldn't be.  But the teachers....one blinks.  A lot.  And they're those long blinks.  Bug and her friends counted today, and he blinked 34 times in less than an hour.  That's more than once every 2 minutes.  And he keeps his eyes closed for 30 seconds or so.  I know, I shouldn't pick, but wow it was sooooo annoying last night.  The other is a big flirt.  Flip the hair, smooth the pants.  She looked really uncomfortable, but flirty at the same time.  It was a sight.  Her Math, Spanish and Band teachers are the same, which is okay for her.  Her poor math teacher...she needs to be in a higher level class, but the school won't give her that option for another year.  So she finishes everything really quickly, and then she pesters him.  It's good natured, and he doesn't really mind, but still.  And of course, in that class, it was us and one other family.  That blows my mind.  25-30 students and 2 families show up.  Wow!

I'm really enjoying Bug's high school experience.  I re-read "To Kill A Mockingbird" with her last year and I'm looking forward to reading some of the things with her this year.  Her father is going to read the books while he's in the sandbox so that they can email discuss them.  I think this will be a good way for them to keep connected, and I'm glad he thought of it. 

Now tomorrow night is PB's night.  I have a plethora of things to post about, and not a lot of time, energy or creativity to do it.  Got to write these things down!