Fun Monday

Lisa's Chaos is hosting this week's Fun Monday and she gave the following assignment:

Let’s meet your pets. I think most of us have at least one pet and I would like to see your fluffy or scaly pal. If you don’t have a camera you can tell us about him/her/them. If you don’t have a pet tell us about a pet you had or a pet you want. If for some weird reason you hate all animals we want to know why gosh-dang-it.

The only pets I have in my house are the two legged mess makers called children. Being more than slightly allergic to most animals precludes that. However, I do love animals. Today, I'll introduce you to the cutest pain in the hieny you will ever meet.




This is my MIL's baby, Bunny. She is the most spoiled, demanding cutie you will ever meet. But we love her.

Bunny spent a week with us last month. I figured it would be a good reminder for my children of the work involved in pet ownership. They all agree that visitation with a dog is better than ownership. The need to go out, whining to play, food, and the havoc on my schedule (goodbye lunch hour...had to go home to let her out since we wouldn't be home until late due to the kids activities) was more than enough to remind them. Also, the having to clean the dish from the moist dog food and cleaning up little doggie turds...EWWWW :)

But, she knows she is loved in our house. She has toys and a water dish that stay out for her visits. And she goes on car rides with us sometimes. Most importantly, she provides companionship and purpose for my MIL. All in all, she's a keeper.

MMMMMM, Nachos

One of my favorite snacks is tortilla chips with 2% mexican blend (it's a blend of cheeses, not mexican flavored) shredded cheese melted on top. We spread the chips out on a plate, sprinkle the cheese, pop them in the microwave for 45 seconds...cheesy, yummy goodness.

Surprise!

Tonight, my husband, his sister and I threw a surprise birthday party for my MIL. And guess what...we managed to get her in with it remaining a surprise! We had more than enough food, everyone had a good time, and more people showed up then we expected...pretty good for starting the real planning 2 days ago! In less than a week, she leaves for her first cruise...what a great start to the new year, and her new life. I'm glad she's feeling the love.

This party was the perfect gathering of friends and family. There were at least two kids there at every age level, and they all ran around like banshees, singing bad karaoke and playing with balloons, screeching as only little kids can. They were hot and flushed and exhausted by the end of the evening. And all the parents and grandparents sat around, talking and catching up, meeting new people. Best of all, no one complained about those kids and their noise level. It was loud, hot, and fun. I remember a lot of those kinds of events as a child, and sadly, they don't happen as much any more. Maybe we need to find a way to start having them more than every 10 or so years.

I'm exhausted, it's late, and I have to throw together a Sunday School lesson on the fly tomorrow...yay me! So I'll sign off...night and happy Saturday to you all1

Finally Friday

Okay, I really don't understand how such a short work week could last so long. I'm very glad it's over though. Today was my MIL's birthday...she doesn't read blogs, let alone mine, but Happy Birthday to her anyway. There was a time not so long ago that we weren't sure she would make it to 60, but today she proved that wrong. Way to go.

I really have to take some pictures from our Holiday crafting bonanza...lol. That will give me some more fodder for my blog.

I'm looking for photo/graphic software...any suggestions? (besides the one opinion I've already solicited...thanks OMSH!)

On a another note, I just gotta say, I love my hubby. He's the best fit for me, and I'm really happy that the military changed their collective mind to allow him to spend some more time home with us :) Love you!

And it continues

I'm hoping that as I do this each day, I'll get into the habit of making notes of things I want to blog about. And then I'll have tidbits and info to make real posts, not these long random thoughts.

I actually do have another post started, but it needs time to be worked on. And I started a list of things I might want to blog about. Now I have to find the time to do them justice.

Thursday...one more day of work, one more day of an employee that has caused me a lot of heartburn, one more day until I can hopefully sleep.

Craziness...Day 2

Today it was back to work. It went pretty well. I think I'll enjoy a 3 day work week. Unfortunately, there's a lot to cram into that work week, including a jaunt to the base to get a new ID card, and a trip to the docter for Princess Bear. She has had a nagging cough for several days, and I was hoping that a few nebulizer treatments would take care of it, but it's getting worse.

I had lunch with mom today. It was nice being able to do that...we haven't been able to for so many years.

My mom bought both the girls American Girl dolls for Christmas. The Bug got an older Samantha doll from her mom, and a new one from my mom. The look of joy on her face when she opened it today was priceless. The sqealing and screaming was the girliest I've seen her in a while. When PB opened her Joesphina doll on Christmas, she snuggled with the box for 30 minutes until we could safely remove it from her hands and take her out. I'm hoping to take them to the American Girl store in New York sometime this year. I think it could be an awesome fun trip for all of us...there are other places I want to take both the girls and the Monster.

All three of the kids got Ipod shuffles this year, each a different color. The monster is totally attached to his...last night he was dancing around in his tshirt and underwear, looking like Tom Cruise in Risky Business. I could watch him for hours, he's such a ham. He didn't want to take it off for school today...he could listen to music for hours.

On Christmas morning, he got his Ipod one gift before PB. The look of disappointment and anger on her face was so stinking funny. She was so sure that he was getting one and she wasn't. Then hers came next...a shiny green (her new favorite color) and she about jumped out of her skin with excitement. Sometimes, suprises happen when you don't plan them, and that was one of those instances.

All in all, we had a very good Holiday. We spent a lot of time in our home, just hanging out and being together. The perfect Holiday vacation.

New Year Part 2

I've totally lost my mind. I signed up for the 365 challenge...blog every day. Let's see if I make it through January. I've wanted to get myself motivated, so here it goes.

I updated the blogroll some, but look for it to really be renovated soon. I'm also looking into web design class...I want to learn how to code this website and make it what I want. I think I can get one paid for through work, but I have to work on that aspect.

This is the year of me apparently. My hubby bought me a brand new laptop for Christmas. Not one to share, but all my own. It's very pretty and shiny and I love it. Hopefully that will make posting easier. My mom and grandma signed me up for a quilting class I wanted to attend. And I've joined a stamp club that will meet once a month. I know my hubby is going to be away a lot over the next year, and I'm looking at this as a way of making sure I get some breaks.

I made some really cute things for Christmas this year, and I hope to share a few on here in the coming days. I've also signed up for Fun Monday. Who knows what else I may decide to do...gotta get those posts out somehow!

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2008!

Random December Thoughts

It's December, which means I can safely talk about Christmas. I did some shopping Friday afternoon, and I've been up sewing some pj pants for my kiddies. It's 3:30 am, and I need to go to bed. I love the Holiday Season.

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Wanna know what my kids favorite Christmas song is? Nope, not Frosty, not Santa Claus is Coming to Town, not even Jingle Bells. No old school classics for my babies. Are you ready for it? "Last Christmas" by Wham!. Yep, that's the favorite of all three. I'm so proud!

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We had the first snowfall of the year earlier this week. I hate snow. It's great for the first few hours...then I have to go out and shovel and clear and it's no longer any fun. I hope it's all melted soon.

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Heading off to bed, night!

Enjoy...

Gather round children...

For I am going to post twice in three days. Scary, I know.

It's finally fall here. Crisp air, warm sweaters...oh wait, it's still a sauna in my office, so I have to dress for fall, with summer underneath. How hard is it really to regulate the temperature in an office building. Really, just one part...the rest of the building is comfortable. I guess I can say I really do work in the bowels of hell.

Went to Joann Fabrics today to buy some fall decorations for a game night I have this week. I looked at the calendar today, and it tells me we are still in the first week of November. Thanksgiving is several weeks away, Christmas almost 2 months away. Guess what! Very little in the way of Thanksgiving stuff still out. Christmas is there. Wal-Mart has tried to declare the Friday after Halloween the new Black Friday. Uhm, there's a few flaws in that thinking. Number one, I have the day after Thanksgiving off with pay...I don't have the Friday after Halloween off unless I use a vacation day. Secondly, I am a strong believer in taking our Holidays back. I don't want to start decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving. I love fall, and Thanksgiving is when I get to decorate for it. I'm hoping that people don't encourage this early Christmas spirit too much...I really am tired of being tired of Christmas before it even gets here.

What do you think?

Stay

Wow. I just saw the video for Sugarland's song "Stay". What an amazing video. I don't get a lot of time to watch TV, let along videos (and I hate that...lol) but what I often see seems boring, unoriginal, or just a way to send out more sex. This video allows us to see the people singing this song as real people, with real emotions. Her simple clothing and makeup is perfect, and the true emotion you can see on both performers faces really brings the words to life. I am not a big Sugarland fan in general, but this song and video will be in my top 10 for some time to come.

Pink for October

I'm a day late, but here it is, October already. It's hard to believe it's been a little over a year since my MIL found her lump. A year of surgeries, chemo, setbacks and now radiation. We are all so thankful that she is still here, still fighting. I found it so ironic that this all occurred just when we were entering October...Breast Cancer awareness month. I stumbled across this website, and turned my site pink last year. And I'm doing it again this year. I am also striving to wear at least one pink item every day. I've added the cute little button created by Tammie Lister. Please, get your mammograms...check the pair...whatever you want to call it.

Love Languages

I found this at OMSH. It's amazing how accurate it describes me. Now I want my husband to take it...I want to see how close my opinion is to his actual results.

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Acts of Service

My Detailed Results:
Acts of Service:	9
Quality Time:	8
Physical Touch:	7
Receiving Gifts:	3
Words of Affirmation:	3

The sound of silence

I know, that's what you're hearing around here. It just isn't there. I've been feeling a little peckish lately, and just not up to writing. I sit down to think about blogging, get to reading others...and nothing. That's it. So....maybe soon. We'll see.

Hubby is almost as good as new. Still sore in a few places, but basically okay.

I pink puffy heart...

I've recently discovered a fondness for purses...I'm very picky about the pockets and such, but a good purse that looks really cute is my second favorite accessory (jewelry is my first.) I also love office supplies and organizers. So imagine my joy when I found out Franklin Covey is selling totes. Yes, I know, contain your excitement for a minute.


It could be just me, but I think this is the best. I may have to order it. I can't get the inside picture to post large enough, but it's a beautiful green, with the perfect pockets. Gorgeous. And useful. And on clearance.

My other half, almost missing.

"Don't worry about the Birthday Party...don't worry about picking up the kids. Just come home."

"Okay...Why? What's wrong?"

"I've called 911, and they have an ambulance on it's way. I was working on the jeep and it rolled on me."

"OMG, I'm almost there."

Yes, this is the conversation I had with my husband at 11:17 am Saturday morning. I arrived to find our jeep in the road, my husband holding his head with a towel, and blood everywhere. Minutes went by, during which I moved the jeep out of middle of the road, and finally the paramedics showed up...then the police and finally the ambulance. The whole time, he is talking, he's moving, he's coherent, and that gives me the most comfort and hope. Somehow, even through the terror, I'm certain that he is going to be okay. He's going to have injuries, but he's going to survive. And that is what got me through calling his mom, answering all the wonderfully kind State Trooper's questions, literally driving like a maniac up to the hospital. But I digress. They load him into the ambulance to drive him the open space in our development so that he can be medi-vacced up to the trauma hospital. Of course, the ambulance drivers have no clue where that is. I could have pushed the gurney there faster, but they were doing the best they could. When we (myself, my mom and my Mother-in-law) reach the hospital some hour later, he has arrived, as has my Sister-in-law and her husband (they live near the hospital he was taken to). We are taken back to a room where we are to wait while they do all the tests they need to do. I feel amazingly calm. The nurse finally comes a little bit later, and tells us we can see him for a few minutes...He has a neck brace on, his head is bandaged, he's in nothing but a hospital gown, and he has dried blood all over him. But he's awake and alert and talking, and then it hits me so hard. I almost lost my husband. After several CT Scans, X-Rays, different doctors and several hours, they decide that he is one of the luckiest people in the world. A vehicle had rolled over him, the tire rolling over his head, and he has no broken bones...all he has is a gash in his head (now with 6 staples), several spots of road rash and bruises, and a shoulder that he thinks he may have damaged again. Seriously...that's it. I'm so amazed and so thankful.

I've known that I love this man for over 10 years. We have been through some amazingly hard times in our life, and we are still together and in love. He is truly my best friend, my other half. Without him, my life would not be as beautiful, as fun, as frustrating and as full as it is now. I would truly feel the wound of his loss for the rest of my life. And so I am so very happy that I won't have to...I look forward to living with him for many years to come. And next time, he'll remember to chock the wheels and apply the parking break before removing the drive shaft from a vehicle.

Team WhyMommy...you don't have to find a lump

This is from another Blogger, WhyMommy. She is battling this cancer and needs all the positive support she can get. having experienced breast cancer, chemo, masectomy and rebuilding surgery with my MIL, her situation strikes me as even crueler. I'm joining her team, and I hope that this info gets out. WhyMommy has offered this post for anyone to post.

We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?
I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.
Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.
Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.
There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.
Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.
You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.

It's been a hectic couple of weeks. Last week was our fair (our state is so small, there's only one) and PB was showing sheep there. What an experience. She is too stinking cute anyways, but we added pink cowgirl boots to the mix and the cuteness level was off the charts. After the all the traveling to and from and time spent (and money, goodness fairs can get expensive), my hubby and I went off for a little weekend retreat. Which was good. But now, we're moving back to normal life.

By Thursday of last week, I could tell that my kids needed a serious amount of sleep, and some time spent in their rooms, in their house. So AT 7:30, I told them they could go outside for 30 minutes, or go to bed. My son insisted he was going to watch TV, and a complete and utter breakdown began. I took him up to his room, helped into PJ's, and settled on his bed to listen to the whining and crying until he finally passed out. During his outrage, he told me that "the answer no is cancelled". I couldn't help it, I had to laugh. And really, isn't that we all wish for...that the answer no doesn't apply, doesn't exist. He finally passed out, I managed to roll out from underneath him, and his final words to me were "I just want to go home." He's getting his wish this week, so let's see how much he enjoys it.

Growing up

My kids are growing up. I know, this is what kids do, they grow up, a little each day. They get older and bigger and wiser and eventually they become adults. It's what we work for, what we are preparing them for, every day. Time is ticking...every second, every minute, they move closer to adulthood, and just a little bit further away from us.

When Bug was a little girl, I often wondered what she was going to be like as a teenager. She was already a smart mouthed little thing, and quick as can be. We often joked about locking her in room as a teenager, for her own good. I thought about first crushes, boyfriends, sports, school...all of it. And now she is a teenager, about to start High School. I look back at the pictures of that little girl, think of the funny (and not so funny) stories from her childhood, and it's so neat to link those stories to who she is now. It's interesting to find that the smart mouth is still there, but she is learning to occasionally control it. All in all, she is a teenager I'm proud to call my daughter. But getting to this point, it wasn't easy. So many milestones she's already passed, each one harder than the last for us to grasp, to believe, to handle. You look at this child, you know she's growing up, you see the little changes each day. And then one day, it hits you...she isn't a baby anymore, she isn't a toddler, she's so big! Middle School, school dances, boys. And now, High school. 6 months of them (the teachers and administrators) forcing this fact down our throats, and I think I'm prepared. I see her for the young lady she is, already showing some of the maturity that I've craved and dreaded at the same time. But still, it doesn't seem that long ago when she was a little 3rd grade tomboy, and I miss those days.

Princess Bear, oh my, she will be a 4th grader this year. It seems like just yesterday that she was starting kindergarten. 4th grade seems so big. I've watched her with the older kids at Bible School this week, and it takes my breath away how much she's changed. She truly is a big girl now. She has taken risks and become more fearless than I ever thought she could be. The whining and temper tantrums have decreased, and she is just so darn cute. She looks like the typical little girl in a book, and I just want to stare at her for hours. I mourn the loss of my little girl, I mourn that sweet baby girl with tiny little piggy tails and silly little games, but I love this big girl, this detail junky, foodie girl. (She's become obsessed with Food network. Seriously, she knows stuff about all the personalities and tells me little tips from their shows constantly. It's really pretty cute.)

The Monster is getting so big too, but he's still my little boy. My heart breaks each time I look at him, because I see him becoming a big boy, growing up and changing. I will miss the boy he is now, just as I miss the baby he was then. His sweet voice, funny little stories, menagerie of pretend animals...these are the things I try to cherish and hold close to my heart. The things I tell myself to remember.

And I remember telling myself to remember before, to hold tight to certain moments so that I can cherish them later on. And sometimes, I try to remember those moments, and I can't. And that makes me miss them even more.

Happy 4th!

What a great way to celebrate our nation's independence...sitting on a historic patch of grass in the first state, watching one of my very good friends son and mine roll around in complete boyhood, sharing glowsticks with lots of kids, eating italian ice, watching amazing fireworks, and listening the Army band play great patriotic music, complete with cannon's firing. What a satisfying evening. And there's several more days of vacation to go...YAY!

Monday we went to Sesame Place. A good time was had by all, and it wasn't too exhausting. Temperature would have been great for most amusement parks, but Sesame Place is mostly water...was a bit chilly for that.

One day this week, we will go to the beach, sit in the sand and build sandcastles, throw out a line and maybe even launch the boat. While I understand the need to plan most of the time, it's been very pleasant to just go with the flow for the last few days.

Oh, and the ultimate treat...grocery shopping without kiddies, in a store that everyone assumes is closed (only explanation I have for there only being like 12 people in the store...normally it's total chaos in there!)

Hope you all had a great 4th of July!

I was dreaming when I wrote this...

Okay, I wasn't really...I was just wishing my life away. Why, you ask? Because Friday at 4:00, I begin a whole week of no work. Vacation...probably a little strong of a word for it. After all, I'm not going to any great, exciting, or exotic place this year. If we do anything, it will be simple day trips. I still have to feed my children, clean my house, and handle the laundry. BUT there will be no alarm clock, no rush to get anyone to work on time. And there will be some serious dreaming going on. Maybe My legs and shoulders can start to match the rest of my arms.

And maybe I'll kick this damn bronchitis once and for all.

Since I'm not going away....there might even be a few posts in there.

Now I'm off to daydream a bit more.

Happy Father's Day

My hubby is home, just in time for Father's Day. This may not seem like a big deal to most people, but I believe this is only the 2nd or 3rd time he has been home with us on this day in over 10 years. The military just doesn't believe that Father's should be home on Father's Day. How silly us civilians are.

Not much on the agenda for today. We gave him his gifts Friday, as the oldest child is away on her church mission trip and PB is just coming back today from camping. I bought him this book, which I think is just awesome. I would recommend it highly!

And now, to honor the man in our house...

Thank you for being a super awesome, fantastic, crazy, fun dad. We all love you very much and are so happy you are home at last.

Fighting for your life

Last fall, my MIL was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. At the initial diagnosis, she was told it was Stage 1. After several surgeries, she found out it was Stage 4. After a long series of Chemo treatments, she is now facing a long round of radiation therapy. She has lost her hair, eyelashes, eyebrowsa and fingernails. She has been so sick and weak she can barely move. She's had to miss a lot of family activities because her immune system is so weak. But she has battled on...even when she felt defeated, she continued to battle.



When I was a child, cancer meant certain death. It might be years down the road, or days, but if you had cancer, chances were you were going to die. Nowadays, that isn't the case anymore. Cancer isn't pleasant, it isn't fun, it pretty much sucks for those who have to battle it. But we can battle it, and we can win.



This Friday, my SIL will be walking for Relay for Life. This event is an overnight walk to raise funds and awareness for cancer. If you would like to donate to this worthy cause, please link to her site here: Tammy's RLF team. Any donations will be greatly appreciated. Working together, we can continue to make cancer a livable diganosis. Thank you.

Inspiration

There's a totally cool new site out there...see that button on the left, that beautiful blue one? Click it and it will take you to a place that all cool women should go. What is this site you ask? It's called sk*rt, and it is the site for women to go and find cool internet places to go. Here's a blurb for your info...

sk*rt is a place to find things. News. Ideas. Information. Products. Coolness. And
more and more and more. It’s like that friend who always finds the best stuff… only
better. Because it finds the stuff online. And let’s face it, there are billions of online
options… but finding something you’re interested in, well, that’s sometimes tricky. So
sk*rt was created as a portal for skirts. A spot that you can stop in to see what excellent
things others have found.

See, very cool. It's organized into categories, and we, the members of sk*rt, get to decide what's cool and what's not. Really, go check it out...you will get lost in the choices.


I need a new look for my blog. I wonder if there is anything there about revamping, cause I have no clue how to code a website. Anyone want to help me?

Friday night, let the rednecks descend!

The oldest just returned from her final dance of middle school. What a big event for her, and unfortunately, she did not have a fun time. I hate that. She looked so grown up and pretty and was so looking forward to this. She even gave up a white water rafting trip that she would have totally enjoyed to go to this dance. Makes me so glad I'm not a teenager anymore.

It's race weekend here in our fair city. 140,000 extra drunk bodies floating around town. Yup, we pretty much stay within 2-3 miles of my house and never venture to that other side of town this weekend. Good thing all the soccer stuff is over here...otherwise we wouldn't be going. It amazes me how badly people can smell after a few days of not showering, how drunk people can be, and how many absolutely scary rednecks there are in the world. And I come from rednecks myself, thank you very much. So, sit back and picture 140,000 (okay, not all of the them are drunk rednecks, but there are actually more people than that, as there are three races over the weekend) drunk, stinky, rednecks running around the wal-mart and sam's club in a sales tax free state. Good times, people, good times.

So yes, I know a little about Nascar. Hard not to when it comes to town twice a year. I also know a bit about Indy car racing, seeing as how I grew up in Indiana....and yet, I'm still not a fan. Go figure.

So this weekend, I will do a little bit of tweeking the yard, and cleaning up the house, and some work I brought home. And I won't go anywhere that isn't absolutely necessary. Maybe I can find some blog inspiration.

Oh my, Jenny from Mama Drama commented on my blog...I'm grinning from ear to ear. If you've never checked out the Mama Drama blog, you should. These women are hilarious! Every day is an adventure over there.

Isn't it amazing how quickly we can be transported back to high school. I won't claim that high school was tramautic for me, but it wasn't the best experience of my life either. It's possible that since I went to 4 high schools, I was destined to always be the new girl. And I was okay with that. I had my few friends, most of them older, and I did my own thing. And looking back, I realize it wasn't that bad...there are good memories there. But then, something else comes along, and triggers those bad feelings and memories. The feeling of being alone, different, not one of "them."

College was an eye opening experience for me. Yes, I still had those moments of shyness, of not being cool enough, of not belonging. But I learned...I learned that good friends are priceless. They are the ones that will clean your puke after your 21st birthday and laugh at it with you the next day. They will also make sure you cover yourself after stripping off the shirt you just puked on in front of a bunch of guys...lol. They will be the Godmother to your children, and even after you live hundreds of miles apart with different lives, they will still be your best friend. I also learned to trust myself, and to believe in myself and my decisions.

After numerous years, those feelings have come back to haunt me at odd moments. Moments of feeling outside the crowd, not in sync with those around me. As a new mama, there were numerous experiences like this. You dont' have a Bugaboo? Your child is in daycare? You breastfed for 3 months? Only 3 months? Many of these comments sent me right back to high school. But with age has come understanding. But I've found that at some of my lowest times, I can remember those lessons I learned in college and in life since then. I can look at my family, my friends, my life, and see the blessings within. I can remember to search for those blessings everyday, even when it seems like there will be none. I am stronger that teenage girl believed, and even though I didn't storm the world in the ways I thought I would back then, I have and will continue to do my part to make it a better place. I will raise my beautiful, smart and caring children to become wonderful adults, and I will remember that they are the best gift I can give to the world, and they are my biggest accomplishment.

Real moms...good moms

Wow, I forgot to come back and publish this weeks ago....whoops :)

Rebecca over at Girls Gone Child has asked us all to talk about why we are good mothers. As she says, we are all too quick to put ourselves down, refer to ourselves as bad mothers, and not "toot our own horn" as it were. And I understand her point...I really do.

I've always been sure that the choices I've made have been in the best interest of my children. That makes me a good mother. And when others have commented that I was a good mom, I felt a big swell of pride...that's one of the most important things to me. I do my best to be at all of their activities and games, eat dinner with them almost every night, tuck them in, soothe their fears and booboos, play with them, listen to them, talk to them, teach them, and the myriad of other "qualities" that make you a good mom. A few years ago, I truly did all of that, putting their needs first all the time. And then one day, I had an epiphany. I could be a good mom, and still be a woman, an individual. If I missed one soccer game, they really wouldn't be scarred for life. If someone else tucked them in one night, it wouldn't cause horrible nightmares to descend upon them. I could go out with their father, I could go out with my friends, and still be a good mom. Actually, it makes me an even better mom. I feel good, knowing that I'm showing my girls how to be a mother, wife, and individual. And I hope that someday, my son decides to marry a girl that is strong enough to fulfill all the qualities of a good mother while still maintaining her individuality.

Blessings

It's been a long couple of weeks. The newness has worn off the promotion and real work has set in. I enjoy the work, but there are some issues that need to be resolved that just sit heavy on my mind most of the time.

My personal life hasn't been much better lately. As I've mentioned before, my husband is away from us. It's always been the rule more than the exception that things break while he is gone. Things that I'm just not sure how to fix. Things like lawnmowers and weedeaters, the whole house fan, the light in my closet, the list could go on. I am pretty handy, I can do things myself and I actually enjoy mowing the lawn. The problem lies in time. With three kids, two old enough to have several activities, our lives can run towards the busy. This is the time of year that it seems to come to a head. Everyone is trying to get all the last hurrah, end of year things in, and it just makes the schedule very hectic. So while I don't mind spending and hour and a half mowing and weedeating (actually, I hate weedeating, but the lawn just doesn't look finished if you don't do it, and then I'm not happy with it...I'm a perfectionist when it comes to landscaping...anyway, I digress), finding that hour and a half without sacrificing something like dinner, that is hard. Add the non working equipment to that...well, you see how futile the whole thing becomes.

And just for giggles, you can add PMS on top of this incredibly long and difficult week (which started last week). Yup, no partner, lots of stress, 3 kids, and PMS...life was grand in this household.

Luckily, my mom isn't using her push mower and brought it over tonight...tomorrow night I stop by and pick up my Mother-in-law's electric weedeater, and by bed time tomorrow night, my yard will be improved. Several of the issues at work have resolved themselves. My birthday is in 2 days, and I may actually get to go out Friday night without my children or a chaperone (no hubbs, but you don't always get it all). All in all, this week is definitely shaping up to be better. It's always amazing how stressed out I can be, and how it all tends to resolve itself if I just give it time.

And I haven't forgotten my desire to volunteer. I'm still trying to find the right thing for me (us). I think I may need to wait until school is out...I'll have loads more time then. Maybe I'll find a way to help that hasn't already been discovered...

Now if I could just get someone to change the switch in the fan...

Giving back

I've often lamented that the oldest child doesn't really get how blessed she is. Tonight, she was watching the "Idol Gives Back" show with me. Ellen suggested that the kids watching tell their parents that they would donate $1 if the parents donated the other $9. My daughter donated $5 of her own...and sat and figured out what that would buy for these kids. She may not get how lucky and blessed she is, but at least she's willing to share it.

Of course, I'm a drippy mess watching these sorts of shows. The mother in me wants to scoop up all those babies and hug them tight and tell them everything will be okay. I used to volunteer my time locally, but as the babies came and grew and my life was so busy, it fell to the wayside. Tonight I was moved to find a way to volunteer that can include my kids. The things we do at church and school and work just aren't enough. We are so blessed, we've come from nothing, worked hard, and now we are living the good life. Now I have to give back.

Sorrow

I have purposely not written anything about the Va Tech shootings, and now the NASA shooting, because my mind just couldn't glom together anything remotely intelligent about these senseless acts. All it knows is that my heart is hurting so much over this...and I try to force it on to other thoughts.

A year or so ago, we had to attend a "Violence in the Workplace" training session. We had to watch a video which included footage of an actual hostage/shooting incident. So many times we sit in these training classes and poke fun, think "it can't happen to me." We all sat in that room and truly discussed what scared us, how it should be handled. We have a secure office, but it is only as secure as the people with access make it. Too many times, people let someone's spouse, or friend, or that vendor in a limited access door so that they don't have to walk to the front door. This worries me. How do we know Joe Bob and Jill Ann are still happily married? Maybe you've been letting him in for 5 years, but now he's mad at Jill Ann cause she kicked him out. I think of these awful things all of the time.

My children attend school on a military base. So many people ask me if I'm worried they will be targeted. I do worry, but not as much as you would think. There are so many precautions taken, so much more security, so many people more aware, simply because of where it is. I don't function under the disillusion that nothing bad is going to happen to them, I just worry a little less. Now next year, when the oldest goes to High School downtown...that scares the shit out of me.

How do we reconcile this fear with providing our children the opportunity to grow and thrive? Of course, we all want to lock them in where it's safe and keep them small forever. I sometimes think that we look at our own childhood through rose colored glasses. We all talk about how we were able to run around all day with little to know parental supervision, and schools were left unlocked all day, and so on. But I remember being taught stranger danger from a very young age. I remember stories of children that were stolen, abducted, killed and/or molested. Maybe it's more prevalent now, but it happened then, too. My husband and I try to find balance. We teach our children to be aware of their surroundings, to stay in groups, to be where they are supposed to be. We share the scary stories with our teenage daughter, so that she understands where we are coming from. We check up on our kids, we expect to meet parents before they go with them...all those common sense things that we as parents must do. But each day, as I send them off to school, the youth center, and daycare, I say a little prayer. When I hear scary things are happening, I say a little prayer. And most of all, each night, I say a little prayer thanking God for my blessings...and for keeping them safe for one more day.

My heart goes out to all the victims and their families, including the shooter's. I won't even pretend to understand the anguish you are living with. May you find peace in heart someday.

Random Thoughts

Several random thoughts...

So far, supervising sucks.

American Idol. No one has captured my attention so much this year. Melinda will do better for herself if she loses, Jakisha should get a contract no matter what, Sanjaya just depresses me, Blake is pretty good, but not WOW...really, none of them really matter. I've watched this far just to see the people I didn't really like go.

I love the show House...I think I may actually need to get the season DVD's since I know we've missed quite a few.

My son got a new pair of neon green rain/gardening boots. He wears them everywhere and is just so stinking cute. Maybe I'll relent on my no picture rule and share soon.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the VA Tech Community. What a horrible experience. I definitely said a little prayer for my kids safety.

I'll try and post some real things soon...sorry I'm such a slacker!

oh the horror

I am sick. I started feeling a little bad Monday night, and by yesterday afternoon I had to face facts and go see the doctor. Their diagnosis...bronchitis. This seriously developed from a little sniffle and cough to full blown in less than 24 hours...how sucky is that? Of course I mentioned that my husband is away, and thank goodness my mom moved here. She's been such a blessing, coming and taking care of my kids, getting them to school, and everything else. I am so lucky! Of course, I'll feel a lot luckier when I feel better.

I was just given a promotion at work, and will be starting my new job the week after next. It is crazy busy this time of year after the Holiday lull, and trying to tie up loose ends and prepare to move up (and into a smaller cubicle, how crazy is that?...lol) has kept me swamped. Hopefully I'll be finding some blogging inspiration soon...cause I miss it!

Work in progress

I have a confession to make. I'm one of those people. The ones that start a million different projects and those projects lay around in various states of completion (but not completed.) Then one day, some bug hits me, and I start to finsh a few of them. But then I start 10 more for every few that I finish. The worst of these projects? My letters, cards and journals.

I've mentioned here before that I love to write. I love words, and how they create stories and shared feelings and all the good and bad of life. And as such, I've always dreamed of keeping a journal, writing long letters to my friends, etc. But then real life intrudes, and minutes become hours become days become weeks. And I stumble across that journal, that letter, that card, and remember that I was going to finish it. But now, what was so urgent and important to say 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years ago...it isn't so urgent or important anymore. So I don't want to burden myself with writing to my journal to tell myself how it's all resolved. And I don't want to burden my friends with stories that now seem so predictable, finished, unimportant. So I end up with lots of journals that have just a few entries. Half written letters that never get sent.

And unfortunately, this blog has become like those journals and letters. Something I want to share, something I want to write on, something that seems important to me. And a complete lack of available subjects isn't helping. I'm struggling with that demon that all bloggers tend to struggle with at some point. I want to remain anonymous as much as possible, but want to share and grow as well. I'm still working on that balance. And my new quarter resolutions (I've decided that since April is the beginning of a new quarter of the year, I'm going to re-resolve) is to be more involved in my blog.

As far as those letters go, I'm glad that Girl Con Queso has given me permission to write the long emails instead of the long letters. According to number one on this list, they are just as good as long letters, and I don't have to remember to stamp and mail them. So watch your inboxes!

Oh What a Beautiful...

I love to look at pretty things. I know, not a big surprise, most people do. But my real weakness is pretty stuff. You know, office supplies that aren't really necessary, serving dishes that you have to invent reasons to use, artwork that you just can't find the right place for. Luckily, we've been pretty much broke most of my married life, so my ability to buy more and more stuff has been very limited.

One of my favorite blogs is Design Mom. She has the coolest stuff on there. I can enjoy it, and if I really love it, I can click on the link to look at the vendor's website. I love that I can look at the pretty things with no temptation to buy it. But THE BEST part of Design Mom is her Giveaways. So simple, really. You leave a comment on that post and someone at random wins that item...and ohhhhhhh the items she chooses. I was the lucky recipient of the Valentine's Day card from Handsome Devil Press. I loved that card so much...it was the perfect card for my hubby from me. And today is your lucky day, because she's in the midst of one of those giveaways today. And I would kill for what she is giving away. It's one of the most beautiful pieces of stuff I've ever seen. So much so that I looked at prices. I know what number 1 is on my birthday list now.


Go. look...what are you still doing here? There's free stuff to be had!

Sleeping children

I was watching the monster as he slept the other night, and my mind wandered down the road to the future. What is he going to be like as a school boy, as a teenager, as an adult. What would our relationship be like? Is he going to stay here, live far away, or be a rock star. What sports will he play, what groups would he join, what passions will he cultivate.

Every night, before I go to bed, I go into each of my children's room and give them a kiss on the forehead. And many nights, I stand there and stare at their sleeping faces. Such peacefulness and beauty. I love them so much, and in those moments, I feel it so strongly. I imagine them as they were, just tiny little babes, cute little toddlers.

I remember Bug as a blond hair toddler, a child that had to create a nest before she would finally crash, hours after bed time. I remember a tough little tomboy in jeans and tshirts standing a foot shorter than everyone else, but making up for it with her big attitude. And I picture her now, the just turned teenager, enjoying her year of being on top of the middle school pile. I think about what high school is going to be like for her, what colleges she might choose, what she wants to be as she continues to grow.

I remember PB as the baby that hated to sleep (nothing has changed on that front) and she could entertain herself for hours in her crib. She wasn't mad about being in the crib, but she wasn't going to fall asleep. And then as a toddler, so independent. She has the most amazing blue eyes, and with her little ponytails, she looked like a doll. Now she's a tough little school girl, who loves making cards and gifts for her teachers and girl scout leader, and who spends the majority of her time drawing, coloring and otherwise crafting. She's the rule follower...and don't you dare break them.

I have so many memories of my babies, and even though I'm looking forward to seeing who they become, I sure do wish they would grow up a little slower.

So where have I been you ask (not that many of you care)...

My hubby left last weekend, we had some sort of activity every evening last week, we went to Baltimore for the weekend, and on top of that, work has been absolutely crazy. We've had several large projects all due at the same time, plus I have been interviewing for a new job like crazy. I need a vacation.

We went to the Aquarium in Baltimore. It was fun, but boy oh boy was it crowded. Unlike our first visit almost 2 years ago, no snakes tried to attack my son through the glass, and the sharks amazed instead of terrified him. I think the favorite animal of the day was the African Bullfrog, which was approximately the size of his head.

Out of the mouths of babes...

As we are cruising one of the interstates into Baltimore this past weekend, my son sees a huge smoke stack belching out the wonderful poisons that contanimate our environment. His comment? Oh, so that's where clouds come from. Still makes me smile.

Days of stress

Wow, what a week it's been. Monday, we took the oldest to the high school for 8th grade info night. How am I old enough to have a high schooler next year? And who's idea was it to have an information night last 2 1/2 hours on a school night? We seriously left that school at 9:36...that's crazy! And the amount of info crammed into our heads...goodness, I had a headache.

My MIL is battling breast cancer, and this week she was very sick. I took her to the doctor several times since she was not breathing very well at all, and they gave her a nebulizer treatment the first visit. My two youngest have asthma, so I am very familiar with nebulizers. She was so sick, the doctor was giving all the instructions to me. It felt like I was at a kids appt...lol. Their neb was hot pink, and PB was soooooooo jealous. Ours is a boring grayish color.

On top of all of that, I had a tooth pulled today. I have horrible veins (and don't do anesthesia well at all. I wil never have elective surgery.) so the nurses strongly suggested I just let the dentist do local. I'll live, but yuck.

And last but definitely not the least, my husband leaves for another state over 700 miles away tomorrow. He'll be gone until the end of June. I'm happy that he will remain in the US, and that it's 5 ish months instead of a year, but it still sucks. I'll miss him tons, and I expect he'll be reading this blog just a little more often during that time. You're going to hear a lot more about my children...you've been warned!

And they lived happily ever after!

There's been lots of postings in the blog world about how people met their significant others. Which is sort of funny, as that was one of the first things I put on my list of blog topics to consider. So I guess I need to tell this story.

I attended college in the midwest. I was dating a Masters student from the East coast when I graduated. I accepted a job in a town a couple of hours away and it sucked. After 2 months of very little sleep, long boring work hours, and no end in sight, I quit. My boyfriend finished his thesis a month later, and I decided to pack up my stuff and move back to the East coast with him. At this time, my mother lived in the state I had attended college in, and my father lived in a state neighboring the boyfriends parents. The plan was to stay with my BF's parents until he found his new job, and then I would begin my Master's at the closest college. After a year of menial part time jobs for me, and (finally) a job for him doing what I could do with my BS, I had enough of living in limbo with his highly dysfunctional family (they threw knives at each other during arguments...seriously), I decided it was time to get the hell out. I made plans to move in with my father while I took stock and figured out what to do. The BF gave me an ultimatum that if I moved out, he was done...I figured it was a good thing to continue moving out. Not long after moving in with my dad and finding a temporary job, I went to my nephew's birthday party (around Thanksgiving).

We have this little kids play place here...like the Chuckee place, but less video games and bigger play areas...and no scary mice. Our room host knew my nephews mom. He was cute, but had a ring and mentioned his daughter. He thought I was cute (I found this out later) but I had a ring and was holding a baby (my niece). Enter the cupids (my ex-SIL and Stepmother). They managed to exchange our phone numbers and let us both know that the other was actually single. He called me that night, and we talked for a long time. I explained that I didn't really want a boyfriend, as I had no intention of staying here for long. He had just finalized his divorce and wasn't looking for anything other than a friend. We went out to dinner and a movie, and then I met his daughter, and she spent a lot of time with me and my nephew. We continued doing things together, and sort of became a couple. We went out Valentine's Day, and that evening (after midnight) he proposed, and I said yes. We were married that Oct, had our PB the following Sept. And so far, we've lived happily ever after!

What's on your dinner plate?

Dinner...it's such a hard subject to think about. The day to day decision process...what to make, how long do you have to make it, does everyone like it. It gets stressful. I've tried making up the menus for 2 weeks, and it works well...but that just puts on the stress in one 10 minute period instead of every day. So I procastinate it.

Tonight's dinner was grilled pork loin, cheesy scalloped potatoes, and broccoli. It always amazes me how fast I can throw together a simple, nutritious dinner. This simple meal took the same amount of time to prepare as popping in the tv dinners my kids love. (Don't worry, my kids do eat them, I just try not to use them for every day dinners.)

One of our favorite side dishes is so easy to make. It's probably technically a form of pilaf, but we just call it Mushroom Rice.

Mushroom Rice

In a microwavable bowl, combine all the ingredients for the rice (rice, water, butter) following the package amounts. Add in one can of mushrooms and 3-4 bouillion cubes. Put in the microwave for about 20-30 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes or so.

Easy and yummy...my favorite :)

Roadblock

I love to write. I love the way the words in my head sound on paper. I love the puzzle of making sure the words I choose, and the order I place them in, optimize the readers understanding. I took a semester of Latin, and I hated that there was very little sentence structure. Take all the right words, and put them down however. Yuck. That's part of the process that brings me joy. I had a professor in college that once told me the he felt if he could base my entire grade on written papers, I would have the highest grade he had ever given. That was such a compliment to me, and I thanked him profusely. He laughed and said he was glad I took it as a compliment, and now could I edit our marketing plan...lol.

As much as I love to write, I've never fancied myself a "writer" as such. I never thought I had the "great american novel" sleeping in my brain. I'm more of a factual writer. Or opinion.

I don't get to write much anymore, and I'm still trying to find my way in this blog. There are subjects I want to write about, but haven't had the time or energy to figure out how to maintain anonymity while telling the story, as well as prevent others from feeling exposed. I guess I could find a way to keep a private online diary, but that just seems like more work than I want to go through.

Let the Music Play

I love music of all kinds. Our music collection runs the gamut from country to rock to jazz and classical and a little bit of Indie. I have Sirius Satellite radio, and my cell phone is also an IPod. I surround myself with music all day long. And because it has always been that way, I remember prime events from my life not by dates, but by songs. I hear songs, and can remember when...Remember when my bestest friend and I sang along and joked about being the Woo Woo girls for Elvis (even though he had been dead most of our lives)...remember singing "Stand By Your Man" when I was 5 with all the twang I could muster...Remember standing in that recording booth at Kings Island with my best friends in high school singing "That's What Friends Are For." I also hear songs and feel the emotions from the lyrics. "Godspeed" by the Dixie Chicks always makes me think of my son and smile. "I Hope You Dance" is my song for PB. Music touches my emotions in a way that television shows and movies aren't able to. Listening to the congregation sing Silent Night in candlelit church on Christmas Eve always chokes me up. My family always teeses me about having kleenex available.


My family has different levels of musical attachment. My husband also likes many different types of music, but can take it or leave it most of the time. My oldest loves Top 40 and a little bit of country, just like so many other teenagers. She doesn't want to learn about or appreciate anything that wasn't a hit sometime in the last 10 or so years. She does occassionally ask what a song means, but most of the time could care less. PB loves all types of music...the more upbeat, the happier she is. I sometimes catch her choosing to watch the videos on CMT instead of the latest show on Nick or Disney. She will sit and draw and color while the radio plays in the background. She loves to sing along and she wants to know the artist and title for every song on the radio. She sings me songs about her day that end up being 15 minutes long. My son also loves all types music. If you ask him what his favorite song is, he will tell you "Sweet Home Alabama." He also loves "Who Are You" (my husband watches a lot of CSI). His current love is Christmas songs. I admit that our family saturates itself in Christmas music from Thanksgiving until sometime after Christmas. The other day, sitting at a restaurant waiting for our food, my son busts out "the very next day, you gave it away"...yes, the Wham song. He strums his guitar, and sings songs that he's made up...And says things like "Let's rock it out now" and "Thank you for coming out to hear us." That boy has never been to a concert in his life, but can quote concert comments like a seasoned roadie. I hope that he enjoys a vast musical buffet as he grows too.

What part does music play in your life?

Updates

Well, I've managed to go to the gym 2 nights this week...woohoo, double last week! I had a crazy bad headache today, and still forced myself to go. Hopefully a routine will set in by the end of this month and it won't be so bad.

I've had a hard day. January is already a hard month for me, but the last few days have really taken their toll even more than usual. Crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head permanently doesn't sound like such a bad idea. But I'm still moving along, trying to fight it off with a good diet, exercise, and looking for the good things. I have to say, reading other people's blogs is such a good way to relieve some stress.

Apparently this is Delurkers week or something to that effect. So if you are here, leave me a comment! I thrive on them. Maybe they will make me feel better. And really, I'll find my groove soon. I promise.

First of all, sorry for not posting much. There have been some personal issues happening in my family that I'm just currently not ready to share with the outside world. Really, they aren't my stories to share, and it's hard to share my views and feelings without sharing other peoples stories.

I'm not going great guns, but I have managed to get to the gym a few times and do some exercises at home. I've cut back on what I'm eating and trying to choose the healthier items I know I should be eating. Haven't gotten back on the scale yet...maybe tomorrow.

It's been crazy warm here on the East coast, and today was a bite of what real winter is usually like here. But no worries, cause come this weekend, it's supposed to be downright balmy again!

Getting healthy

This isn't really a New Year's resolution, just a rebirth to what began last fall and went on hiatus during the busy birthday and holiday hell that is the last quarter of the year. I will lose weight and get fit and healthy. I will be more active with my children all year round. Today I found this great blog that I'm hoping will help! Get_fit_in_2007 is looking to be a great motivator...you should check it out!

Holiday Meltdown

So, are you recovering for the gluttony that was Christmas? Because I'm so over the whole Holiday thing. I don't even care about New Year's Eve this year. We're going to a party, but it's not anything that I think will be too memorable, so I could really care less right now. Really, I'm tired of the whole family thing...tired of trying to make everyone happy and being fair...tired of it all. I'm blessed that our family is all located close by, and I know that and appreciate it. I'm just feeling a little burnt out right now.

So now the new year will begin. Of course, I'm back on the weight loss wagon. I've been saying this for years, and I do okay, then maintain right where I've always been. I'm hoping that this time is better. My husband will be gone from the middle of Feb until June, and I'm usually much more disciplined with him gone. So hopefully he'll come back to a thinner wife. And he's going to have to do forced PT a lot, so he'll bring me back a thinned down husband. Woohoo bathing suit season!

I also resolve to continue my pursuit of mindful parenting. I've been doing very well with this, and want to continue. I want to get more scrapbooking done, spend more time with my hobbies and less with the computer and work related stuff.

Do you make resolutions? What are they? How good are you at keeping them?

Christmas lists

GcQ posted about Christmas gift giving. I thought I would share our gift giving ideas...not that anyone probably cares, but I needed to post something, and the comment was getting too long on her site...lol

Just before Thanksgiving, I take the three kiddos out to a local mega store with a decent toy aisle. They each have a notebook and pencil, and we wander the store writing down everything they want. I don't care what they put on these lists...we've already made it clear that this is a WISH list and they may not receive everything on it. On Thanksgiving, when we're all sitting around moaning from eating too much, everyone gets paper and pen, the sale fliers start making the rounds, and the kids tweak and the adultsl create a list of things we like. Someone (usually me) types the list up, prints out copies of it for everyone, and off we all go. I like this better than registries. There's still the element of surprise, but no one is buying me more candles (which I love, but sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed by the amount of them) or clothes I won't wear. I can go out and purchase stuff for the rest of his family and not stress that they won't like it. Best of both worlds. This doesn't preclude me from buying them things not on the list that I think they will love. It also has the benefit of providing parent approved selections for the grandparents to choose from. All in all, it works well.

For work, I stress.

How do you handle gift giving.

Oh Christmas Tree

This was yesterday's post, but I forgot to post it...lol

The tree is decorated, and my DH (who when we first started pulling Christmas stuff out, commented that we had way too much) has agreed that we need to buy much more. Every year, I think the tree is the loveliest, and every year it gets lovlier. My son's favorite ornament this year? It isn't the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine (his favorite cartoon ever)...no it's the santa in a box! 25 minutes spent closing him and then twisting it until he popped back out. Priceless.

Birthday bash hangover

How is that I didn't imbibe of one alcoholic beverage yesterday, but I woke up with a hangover that rivals some of my college days?

Yesterday was my son's 4th birthday. I can't believe that my baby is 4...he's such a little man now, instead of a baby. We had his "friend" birthday party at a local kids destination in the early afternoon, and then the family came over last night for the "family" celebration. My kids make out for birthdays...sometimes they end up spanning a week long period trying to get everyone together. This year, the monster's fell on Saturday, so it was an all day gluttony of cake and gifts. But he was happy, and when he went to bed, he told us it was the best birthday ever...that brought a big smile to mama's face!

Today we went and bought our Christmas Tree!!! It will be put up today, lit tomorrow, and decorated Tues. This is our first Christmas in our home, and I'm so excited! We have a few decorations done this year, but next year, watch out! I can start buying stuff without worrying about where it will go if we move again, so the buying fest will begin the day after Christmas.

What about you, do you go all out decorating, or is Christmas just a tree in your house?

Wow, I can't believe it's been that long since I last blogged. Sorry all, I've been a slacker in blogland. But real life has been interrupting.

A little rant. I hate reading people's applications. People put the dumbest things on their applications and think it sounds good. I don't need a math/history lesson from you about accounting. It's not real accounting, which is why it's called an Account Tech. And hello, have you heard of spell check? It's painful, and I want to help these people (especially when I've seen their applications several times and they aren't getting better) but I'm not allowed to. That sucks, and if I ever agree to be a SME again, I've given those I work with permission to slap me upside the head.

That said, It's almost Christmas! I feel like I've been slowly getting into the spirit, but it just doesn't feel Christmas like. Maybe it's because my focus has been on my baby turning 4 this Saturday...I can't believe he is such a big boy already! Of course, the poor thing has been nebulizer bound for the last week...hopefully he'll be better by this weekend!

I have a meme that I stole from someone (I forgot to link it back in my draft form and can't find it now...oops) that I'll post soon.

Belated Thankful list

Every day I am thankful. A few years ago, my mother bought me a mug that says "God blesses every day, it's up to us to see it." I've always loved that saying, and I try hard to remember to look for those blessings every day. I choose to be a happy person for the most part. So here is my list of things I'm thankful for.

1. My health - Although I need to lose a few pounds and exercise more, I'm blessed with basically good health.

2. My children - I love them more than life itself, more than anything else in the world. They are my heart.

3. My children's health - I have a child with asthma and one that is pre-asthmatic, but I still feel so blessed. There are so many other illnesses and diseases that we could have to fight. I make sure I say a thank you every day for their health.

4. My husband - I was very lucky to find a man that I love and can live with. A man who is decent and kind, an although far from perfect, he is perfect for me.

5. My home - I love my home...it suits our family and I'm at peace here.

6. My extended family - They are a wonderful with very few issues (well, the ones we talk to regularly are...lol) and they truly love and spoil my kids.

There are a million other things I'm thankful for...the wonderful blue sky with the pretty white clouds, the chance to see the very dark and beautiful water when you're out on the open sea, the warm days when it should be cold, the rain on a summer day drenching the flowers...I try to see these things and take the pleasure in them.

Mostly, I'm thankful for my life.

Hey Mama!

Guess What Mama!? Mama!!! Mama, Can I? Daddy....oh wait, no we don't use that word in this house. That word is a naughty word, or maybe it's a forbidden word, or possibly we just don't like words that start with D (nope, we love the word dessert, so that can't be it) But that word doesn't get uttered at the beginning of a sentence in our house by anybody under the age of 18. Never...unless I'm not there, and then I'm not really sure. It's always Mama they come to...when they need a drink, or their butts wiped, or whatever else they may need. Mama. And while I've always tried to keep positive thoughts, it's getting harder to do so. A million times a day, I remind myself that this is a sign that my kids know they can rely on me, that they aren't afraid to ask me questions, that they know I love and care for them. But sometimes, I want to care a little less. Sometimes, I don't want to be the one that determines if they can have a snack or not. Sometimes, I want to hear that D word at the beginning of the sentences.

Please, don't misunderstand me, my husband is a good father and husband. He is just listening impaired. You truly have to say things at least 3 times for them to infiltrate his brain. Our children aren't that patient, so they've developed the coping mechanism of just not asking him for anything. This happens even when we tell them Daddy is in charge, don't ask Mama anything. And yes, I know that someday I'm going to miss those voices asking me so sweetly for a fruit roll up, but for now, I would truly settle for a few free hours. *

* Work doesn't count in these houre, because then I have adult children using my real name in the place of Mama!

so sue me

I failed...oh well. Who decided November was a good month for this insanity? With all the holidays (yes, I work for the government and get Election Day, Veterans Day and two days for Thanksgiving as holidays in this month alone) I'm wiped out. How do Election Day and Veterans Day wipe me out? Why am I so much busier? Who knows, but I failed. And now there will be no cool gift for me. Bummer!

It's been one nasty two week period, and I will be happy when Sunday arrives. I have several blogs started, but just can't seem to end them...maybe next week.

Oh crap, I did it now

I totally forgot to post yesterday. In between the doctors office visit for me and my mother-in-law (picture us in the waiting room...Mrs. Lang? Yes, which one? Tee hee) and getting out to vote and cleaning my house from top to bottome, I forgot to log on and publish. I now have drugs for my sinus infection, and I'm dehydrating more by the second...oh yeah, and I only got like 2 hours of solid sleep last night. So I'll post twice today...maybe the contest Gods will smile upon me and everyone else will forget one day...say like on Thanksgiving...hehe.

Boy this is hard...

I have some really great pictures of my kids. They are the snapshots I keep on my desk at work, on the mantle at home, in my memory because they make me smile. Shots of my son and oldest daughter with coonskin caps and funny faces, pics of my son in too big boxer briefs, tshirt and dress shirt smiling big in our newly painted kitchen. A snapshot of the younger daughter busy creating her artwork with silly buns in her hair and a princess tierra on her head. I love these pictures so much, I want to share them with the world on here. I want the world to chuckle at my kidlins, tell me how cute they are. This has been struggle for me even before I began my blog. I'm a member of a couple of forums, and to share or not to share has always been a question I had to answer after much thought. I had almost decided to share here, and then I read another persons blog. I refuse to link that blog here, or even type it's name. It was a hateful, immature blog that made me want to rant and rave at the creator. They took a picture of another persons child and photo shopped it into something nasty. They said this was to protest us "mamabloggers" using our children for profit. Hmmm...I'm not getting any income from this, so I'm not sure how that works...but nonetheless, I know how devastated I would be if someone took one of those precious pictures of my children and morphed into something horrible. Unfortunately, the person took the argument and made it something personal and immature. Not a good way to get her point across.

I did a lot of thinking after reading several of the blogs regarding this topic. The person who wrote it was discussing how our children would have to live later in life with the fact that anyone could google them and find out that they pooped in the bathtub at 2, or that so and so's mom was institutionalized for a while and the bullying and obnoxious playground antics would ensue. And that is a valid point...this is their story, and we are telling it for them. But I am horrible about putting it into a journal, and so I'm using that as a sort of journal for them. But people like that blogger, they are the reason I am so careful with names and pictures. And why sadly, you won't see those cute pictures that make me smile, unless you come visit my house.

Copyright 2006 Mamalang

Isn't Monday supposed to be the bad day?

I'm sick...and it's getting worse. I have a messy house that needs cleaned since 12 women are coming over Thursday, and my hubby seems to be PMSing. My teenager can't seem to complete one chore. All in all, I'm just in a funk tonight. My son cuddled with me earlier, and that sweet little boy affection did wonders for my tired soul. Then he turned into terror child, screaming so hard he had spittle flying...aaahhh, the wonders of a lack of sleep. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day, or I won't make it through this post a blog a day month.

With all that said, the soccer party today was very nice. The coach is a genuinely nice person, and I can tolerate all of the other parents...a few I even like. The kids all get along well, and they spent the entire time entrenched in some made up game, happily laughing and shouting. Unfortunately, since I'm sick I currently have no voice, which made it difficult to gather up the young un's when it was time to go. All in all though, it was a nice end to the season. Thanks coach!

The final Soccer Saturday

Today was PB's last soccer game, and they did not play up to their potential (I was just going to say they sucked, but someone would have been up my craw about that in a second.) They just didn't seem to be in any kind of state to play soccer...all 15 kids on the team. It was a sad end to a very good season, but I so admire her coach. During the break before the final quarter, he was talking to the kids about the game, and he asked them if they were having fun...He made sure they understood that while winning and having fun is more fun than losing and having fun the main thing was that they were having fun. He has been her coach for 2 seasons now, and I will have her on his team any time. He doesn't yell and scream meanly at the kids, he is always up and supportive, and the kids all respond to him. He really gets what a coach is supposed to be.

Now, ask me how much I love them all when they are yelling and screaming at the local kids play area tomorrow :)

Celebrities, smelebrities.

Here are the headlines today...

Anna Nicole suffering from a collapsed lung...
Ms. Great Britain is stripped of her crown...
Doogie Howser actor admits he is gay...
Nude fued ends at Waffle House...
Evangelist admits Meth, denies sex...
and Man Stabbed by Antlers after Crash.

Really, out of 9 headlines, these are the most important world headlines today? Is this really the only news other than Iraq that they can report on right now? I know it's Friday night (an pretty late on the east coast) but still...nothing of greater importance happened today? Now don't get me wrong, the nude fued probably livened up a dull Friday night for some people, and the man getting stabbed by the antlers...that just sucks. And the evengelist...that isn't any surprise. The bigger the church, the more money, the more power, the more corrupt they are. I guess I should look on the bright side, at least there isn't any headlines involving tsunamis or earthquakes, hurricanes or other natural disasters.

Thank you to everyone that kept my MIL in their thoughts. She received her pathology results today, and they are confident that they removed all of the cancerous tumor and her lymphnodes were clean. I still cried when she told me, but this time it was happy tears. And that is why this blog is so late getting posted...we spent the evening playing dominoes (believe me, it gets addictive) with her...seemed much more important than anything else I could have done.

New Car Smell

Yes, we finally have reached that pinnacle of adulthood. We bought a house earlier this year, and now we have purchased our first new car...as in no one else has ever owned it! I am so excited, I'm like a little kid on Christmas night. We bought the 2007 midnight blue Chevy HHR...I love it! The kids love it! It isn't a minivan (no offense meant to anyone else, they just aren't my thing.) And it gets better gas mileage...all which makes it the perfect car for us. I'm off to do the happy dance a little more.

Day 1

Copyright 2006 by mamalang
If you aren't reading this at
www.mamalang.blogspot.com
it is stolen!

So how is everyone feeling after the sugar fest last night? My kidlins don't have school today, and my hubby is off due to his mom's surgery, so they got to sleep in this morning...and I even got to sleep an extra hour too!

Today is the first day...I'm off to a rip roaring start. I'm working a topic list for the month, that way I have an idea for every day. Wish me luck!

BTW, I need some help. I have the picture for the NaBloPoMo but I'm not sure how to make it a link...anyone with Blogger Beta know what I need to do?

And Apparently we need to now add

Copyright 2006 by mamalang

If you aren't reading this at

www.mamalang.blogspot.com

it is stolen!

I love fall, and Halloween. I hate Daylight Savings Time in general, but I absolutely adore that extra hour in the night (I'm a huge fan of sleep...it's one of my favorite past times.) Unfortunately, October is always one of the busiest months for our family. And that usually means very little time for the fun part of October. So that's why we were carving our pumpkins at 7:30 last night...crazy, I know, but the only spare time we have. So there I was, trying so hard to be in the moment and not worry about the time. And I managed to hold off the bed time stress until 8:25....I'm so proud!!!

My MIL goes in for her lumpectomy tomorrow. I've hesitated to write too much about this, as I feel very strongly that this is her story, not mine. But I also can't help but worry, and hope, and pray that all is okay. I was a little angry that they would schedule on Halloween...but sooner is better, so Halloween it will be.

I've decided to take the challenge for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month.) Let's see if I can manage to post at least one thing a day for the entire month!

I'm a big doh head!

Copyright 2006 by mamalang
If you aren't reading this at
www.mamalang.blogspot.com
it is stolen!

I haven't really felt like posting anything since it seemed no one was reading, and then I hit a button and found out I had a ton of comments waiting for my approval so they could be posted...I don't remember checking that box? Oh well, they are there now, and I say thank you all so much. Validation is so refreshing :)

The behavior chart has helped! If nothing else, I'm able to give a consequence and then stick to it. Sometimes that is hard for me to do...okay, you can go to the sleepover (while thinking "cause I want the 15 hours of time away from you!). I'm not going to pretend that our lives are suddenly peachy keen, because they aren't. But I see improvement, and that is a start. I've also stressed to my hubby that we have to start spending more family time without the TV on. I think that has helped as well. I've only lost my cool and screamed at them one time in the last week...I think that's a record!

BubandPie posted a great blog on Rage. It really made me think about the rage I've felt. It can be very scary, and I thank God that I have some rational part of my brain that stays functioning when that rage hits. I don't remember ever feeling hate, anger, love, or rage this strongly before I became a mother. I truly wonder if pregnancy and childbirth don't change our basic DNA in some way. But truly the flipside of this is that I feel that love so much stronger now, too. So I'll deal with the rage in order to have this love.

What seems even crazier to me is that since buying our house, I've felt this strong sense of rage less often. I'm not sure why this is...we have more bills, and our kids social lives aren't any easier...but this house brings me peace. I have places to get away for a few minutes. It's still cluttered at times, but not nearly as bad or as often as it used to be. After living on a military base for over 5 years, maybe it's just not having the feeling of living under a microscope every minute of every day. Whatever, I've learned that peace begets peace...It's much easier for me to calm my rage when it does hit now.

I think this "blogosphere" is a wonderful thing. An anonymous person commented on the rage blog "Ariel Gore, in The Mother Trip, says we need to speak the unspeakable about motherhood, so we're not so isolated." I think this was a perfect thing to say...and I think blogging helps us do just that. So thank you all for stopping by, and allowing me to talk with you about the unspeakable.

Still striving

Copyright 2006 by mamalang

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I'm really trying to believe that it is simply a matter of it has to get worse to get better...that she is railing at the idea that we won't tolerate it at all anymore...I'm probably delusional, but at least I'm in a slightly better frame of mind.

In the midst of this temper tantrum hell, we are struggling with a family members health crisis. And scarily enough, that fact has made me a little more patient. I stop and think about what I would do if something were to happen to one of my babies. Then I take a deep breath, and try to calmly tell them why they need to cease doing whatever it is they are doing. So far, it's made me feel a little better if nothing else.

Yesterday I had the day off of work, and my son's daycare was closed, but the girls had school. We had a wonderful morning together. We went to breakfast at IHOP and then home to watch some cartoons and play pirates on the playset in our backyard. He had mama's undivided attention for the whole morning, and he was basking in it. I love that little man so much, and it's so much fun playing games with him!

a ray of light?

Copyright 2006 by mamalang

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it is stolen!

After several more meltdowns in previous days, my dh and I have instituted allowances for behavior. We're hoping that this will induce more positive reinforcement rather than negative and that will in turn breed more positive behaviors...with that said, we are not off to a roaring start. PB already got her first slash in the first hour of the first day. Let's hope that it goes better as time goes by.

Behaviors under the microscope

Copyright 2006 by mamalang

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It's just a short ways into the new school year, and I'm already longing for break...spring, winter, summer, I don't care, just the break. I hate this wishing my life away feeling, always looking forward to the break. But sometimes it just gets to be so much, the girl scouts and the soccer and the field hockey and the special events. I'm so proud of my girls with their activities, and we do limit them...but it still seems so overwhelming. And I want to find some sort of little activity for my baby boy to do, but it all interferes with work or something or other and so I put it off just a little longer. And now we've seen the ugly head of tiredness and all that it brings with it...stomping feet, whiney voices, hurt feelings, refusal to move, etc. Princess Bear can be the most stubborn person in the whole world...and I have non family that will totally agree with me on this one. When she decides she isn't doing something, she will simply plop down, refuse to move, and wave her hands and repeat the word no like a mantra. Nothing you say breaks that concentration...no threats wear it down. In the past, we simply carried her to her bed and left her there to scream it out and wear it down...but she is now 8 and we can no longer safely carry her anywhere. And while I know that more sleep will help, this is also the child that will do whatever is necessary to not sleep outside the hours of 9:00 pm and 7:00 am...it doesn't matter that she is propping her eyes open with toothpicks, sleep is a demon that can only be allowed to roam during those hours. I'm really ready to call in a shrink and see what they have to say, because none of the strategies we've tried have worked yet...and I'm afraid of doing bodily harm to her.

I was reading another blog and the mother was discussing shutting her son outside in the back yard to play so that she didn't cause bodily harm. And I feel her pain so deeply. I understand how easy it is to cross that line into child abuse with some children. I've locked PB in her room so that I wouldn't harm her. Yes, I felt guilty doing that, but I would have felt much more guilty if I had harmed her in some way.

Luckily, I know I'm not alone. Catherine's newest post at Wondertime is about the changes that take place as children start school. It gives me strength to find the right way to deal with this...

How do I love thee...

Copyright 2006 by mamalang

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it is stolen!

I have three kids, aged almost 8, almost 13 and 3 1/2. The oldest two are girls and the youngest is a boy. I love them all in equal amounts, but it's amazing to me when people say I love my kids the same. I don't love them the same...they are different and unique individuals, each with different good and bad traits. Therefore I love them all differently.

I love the oldest, (I think her nickname will be Bug) because of her stong sense of self, and although her attitude works against her and annoys the snot out of me most of the time, I'm proud of the fact that she can be herself and be happy with that. I'm happy that she is smart, bright and funny girl turning into a young woman. She loves the sports she plays, but she gets that each thing is not the be all end all in her life. She is not a girly girl, but she is not unhappy about being a girl either.

I love the middle one (her's will be Princess Bear, or PB for short) because she is a girly girl. If it is pink, purple, has sparkles or glitter...she's all about it. She has a unique sense of style, and isn't afraid to look silly. She is the cuddle bug lover of the family, always wanting a hug or a kiss...even though she knows she is thoroughly loved. And I love that stubborn I'm right and no one is going to change my mind attitude even though it will ultimately be her down fall someday. I love the long storys she tells us about her day, even when I'm not really listening. I love that she can totally entertain herself for hours with a mirror.

The youngest (his nickname I had no problem with, it's monster)...he's all boy, but so sweet, polite and cute that you just can't stand it. Although I know I am prejudice, other non-family members have said the same thing...you know he's done something he shouldn't, and you know you need to yell at him, but instead you just end up chuckling at him. His sense of humor is huge, and he is truly in love with his family. Unfortunately, that love is sometimes expressed in painfully exuberant ways, but all is done knowing that we love him as much as he loves us. He walks me to the door of his classroom each morning, blowing me kisses, hugging my hand, telling me to have a good day, and he just so sweet I don't want to leave. He's got the most amazing imagination, and he tells me wonderful stories. I could go on, but I won't.

I love them all to the point that it hurts. People always told me you couldn't describe the bond between parent and child...the love was just too big. And while I totally believed them, it's still surprising how big it really is. They are my life, and I love them more than my life.

Copyright 2006 by mamalang

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it is stolen!

A favorite author of mine (Catherine Newman, she has a blog here too and wonderful articles on Wondertime.com...go read her) wrote a long time ago (or so it seems) that she was more of the glass half full but precariously placed and about to spill type person. That spoke volumes to me. I realized that not only did it describe me to a T, but that my youngest daughter was turning into that type of person as well. And while there is nothing wrong with per se, I wanted her to be more open to life, not afraid to try new things because she was bogged down with the what if's. So I've tried, since then, to keep those disaster looming thoughts to myself, and to gleefully encourage all three to try new things (within reason of course).