Adventure travel - road tripping with my kids

When my husband deployed last fall, I promised PB and Monster that we would have a year full of adventures.  So far, we've gone to DC several times, NYC, and now, Chicago.  I think I'm keeping up my end of the bargain.

Thursday, July 25th, we left our house heading to Chicago.  I drove.  Just me and the kids.  We stopped for the night just over the West Virginia/Ohio border, then continued on, stopping in West Lafayette to check out where I went to College, and the Triple X family restaurant. The kids and I saw this restaurant on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives a while back, and I commented that it was located near where I lived while in college.  When I mentioned that I wanted to take the kids through there, PB immediately asked to go to the restaurant.  (I just remembered that we always called it the triple chi.  Cause we were so cool...lol).  Then we finished off our trip north of Chicago late that evening.  Over the course of the week, we visited local attractions near my friends house, Chicago, and Six Flags.  Friday morning, we got up, packed, loaded up the car, and drove home.  We stopped in Michigan to see Bug, and got home in the wee small hours of the morning Saturday morning.  There is a lot more to tell you about all those days, but tonight is a recap, teaser, taste of what is to come.

But right now, I still feel like I'm recuperating from driving all stinking night.  And my bed is calling me.  Sweet dreams.

A bit about me...an interview

A while ago, The Immoral Matriarch started an interview meme. Somewhere along the way, Margalit volunteered to be interviewed, then offered to interview anyone that as interested. One of my favorite bloggers, Bethany Acutally (I've always loved that name. so pretty and feminine) signed up, then offered it up to her readers. And now, I'm participating.

So here goes...
I'm going to steal my first question from margalit because it's a good one! Then I'll make up the rest.

1. You are a military wife, just like me! What do you think the hardest part of being a military family is? This is a tough question. I think it's trying to explain the military life to non-military families. A lot of people don't understand some of the things we have to accept as part of the job. Like night meetings that don't involve extra time off at another point. Or working when it snows, or holidays. It's just part of it, but most civilian jobs don't require the same type of give, without a take to go along with it. The separations suck, too.

2. Your husband is currently deployed. What are some things you're doing to help stay sane till he gets home? Luckily, I have a great support system in place. My mother, mother-in-law and sister-in-law all live nearby, and I have good friends and a very understanding boss. These help, because I can ask for help when I need it. I talk to my husband in some way (IM, Email, Phone) almost every day...we are so lucky to live in the age of the internet. I can't imagine how the women at home during earlier conflicts managed to stay sane with just written letters. I work hard to include my husband, keeping him connected to the kids and I. At Christmas, he watch them open gifts via the webcam. I inadvertently put the computer in a chair, so it was like he was sitting there.

3. How long have you been blogging, and why do you blog? What's your blog raison d'être, if you will? I've been blogging for 2 1/2 years, but I'm just starting to find my voice. I started because I had to register to comment on a blog I liked, so I figured why not. Now I want to change my tagline/name, but haven't gotten there yet. I've always loved to write, and I kept it up because it's a good way for my hubby to check in when he has a few minutes, and find out things he may not have gotten from me during a conversation. I've also enjoyed the community of blogging.

4. Tell me one of your favorite childhood memories. You know, if I told you about my childhood, many people would wonder how I could come up with good memories. But I have a lot of them...simple pleasures like wading in the creek (pronounced crick where I was at) and catching little crawdads, or going out on the boat and feeling the wind. Almost all of my good memories involve my grandparents. But my favorite would have to be the year Santa came to visit me. I wasn't very old (5 maybe?) and he came and woke me up late at night, bearing a present. I later found out it was my uncle, dressed up in the suit just to surprise me. Knowing how much work my mom, my uncle and my cousins put into surprising me makes it even sweeter.

5. Other than being a mom (obviously) what's the best job you ever had, and why? I really enjoy what I'm doing now, for the most part. I work for the State, and serving the public that way can be difficult. When I first started, I didn't get that we were in "Service." I knew about customer service, but public service is different than that even. And I enjoy it. I enjoy knowing that what I do contributes to helping every person in this state get places safely. I'm able to learn new things regularly, and I've been given a lot of opportunities I may not have been given in other jobs. The pay isn't so great, but the benefits and pension keep you there. Luckily, I enjoy where I work, and the people I work with. It feels like a family.


So there you go. A little more about me. Anyone else want to participate? Leave me a comment!

the final step in the awakening

I was struggling with what to post today. There are so many things I want to talk about, and so little time and energy to do so right now. But then I read this post by Mir, and I knew.  Mir did an awesome job explaining to her daughter the relationship pitfalls of preteen girls.  And then I thought about how this applies to our lives even as adults.

We all have toxic people in our lives...and many of us have to learn to cut those people out, it possible, or reduce our exposure to them if not.

My parents were divorced when I was very young.  My mom raised me with very little financial assistance or input from my father.  He was a person that I saw once a year (maybe) for a few days.  This brought out  myriad of emotions throughout my childhood...anger, hurt, self-doubt, apathy, you name it, it was there at some point.

When I turned 16, I wrote him a letter and basically gave him an ultimatum...you either have a daughter, or not, but it was decision time.  He suddenly became interested.  I visited a few times over the next couple of years. My dad had been remarried for the second time at this point, and my stepmom had a son that was a year older than me.  My father had adopted him.  Nope, that didn't annoy me, not at all (I don't lie well in real life either.)  My stepmom and I had an okay relationship.  A lot about her annoyed me, but I was good at letting it roll right on over my head.

I graduated from college, and like a dummy followed a boy.  After a year of living in a neighboring state with him and his crazy parents, I had to get out.  My dad was one small state (2 hours) away, my mom was several states and 12 hours away.  I moved in with my father to save money and figure out where I wanted to go with my life.  I met my husband and here I am.

When my husband and I were engaged, my stepmom (and therefore my father) wanted to pay for my wedding.  I agreed as long as I still had control...I didn't want wildly expensive, but I wanted what I like, not what someone else did.  We couldn't really afford a photographer, so we asked a sort of relative to take them.  I bought good film, lots of it.  It was videotaped.

I've never seen that video tape, and all the pictures of my husband and I alone are missing.  My stepmom came into our house while we were on our honeymoon and took them to be developed.  Then she kept her copy, plus the extras of quite a few.  She also had the "photographer" use cheap film she had and kept the good film.

Over the next year or so, many other things happened.  A rift formed.  I started to see a trend.  Between myself, my stepbrother, and my half sister (from the middle marriage), one of us had to be the "bad child."  And since I didn't bow down, and I wasn't financially dependent on her, I wouldn't play that game.  Eventually, I just stopped trying.  They lived less than a mile away from us, and we never saw them.  PB was 6 days old before they saw her, and that was because they stopped early in the morning to tell me they were moving to Kansas.  That was it.  A year or so later I tried  reconciliation, and after a couple of years, I found out how badly I was being treated, and that was it.  I haven't spoken to them since.

My father has never seen my son.  He hasn't seen PB since she was a toddler, and Bug since she was in early elementary school.  Every so often, I stop and think about this.  I test the wound to see how raw it is.  I wonder if I need to check on him...I think how I will feel when someday I find out he is gone.  And I've realized that while I'll feel sad, I don't think I will regret my decision.  It's one thing to screw with my feelings, but I won't let anyone hurt my children that way.  It makes me sad that they won't know as much about my father's family, as they were an important part of my childhood (I was the baby of all the grandkids...can you say spoiled rotten?)  But I see this as an example of cutting those toxic people out of our lives.

My MIL asked me over the holidays if I wanted to send him a letter, tell him all he is missing, show him all we have become.  And sometimes, that answer is yes.  Because he is my father, and sometimes I am that little girl that just wants his attention.  But then the adult quickly takes over and shuts that door. 

I have a great life.  I have people in my life that love me, that will do almost anything for me.  I have a wonderful husband, awesome children, a nice house and car and a good job.  I am a good person, and I've learned finally that I don't need his approval, or attention. 

Fun Monday, High on Life

Mariposa has stepped up again to host our Fun Monday this week!

High moments...in our lives! If you could share to us 3-5 high moments in
your lives...this could be funny moments...the you can't believe you did it
moments...the "I told you so" moments...or the times we asked the ground to go
open and eat us moments! You need not write a book to explain them, the
highlights will do.

Wow, this is kind of tough.

My wedding had a lot of those funny moments. Both DDS and I caught some sort of stomach bug the night before, and in two different locations we both started praying to the porcelain god at 4 am. Our wedding took place at 4 pm. We were feeling better by then, but weak. I made arrangements for someone to have some candy to give me in case I felt faint. Less than 5 minutes into the ceremony, I felt faint. No one would hand me the candy. They brought me a folding chair, a program, a wet cloth. My husband and best man brought the unity candle to me. It was like a comedy...all I could do was laugh. We even had to sit on a piano bench for our receiving line. Everyone thought we were just nervous, but really, we were sick.

That's all I have at the moment. I'll come back to edit if I think of more.

A walk down memory lane

Molly from Return of the White Robin is our Fun Monday host this week. The assignment is to tell about a happy memory from your childhood. If you have pictures, please show us your pictures.

Hmmm. A happy memory. I actually have quite a few fond and happy memories from childhood.

I spent a month every summer with my paternal grandparents, and it was a carefree month of playing in the "crick," catching crawdads from under the rocks. At night I caught lady bugs in a jar. I slept as late as I wanted, and I helped my grandfather cook a huge breakfast every night. Almost every desire was met. It was heaven for a child. Hearing the "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy" theme songs takes me back to those days...it was against the policy to miss those shows each night.

My maternal grandfather used to come home from work and let me climb all over him, combing his hair and stealing a sly sip from his beer every once in a while. I was the light in his life, and he had no qualms in allowing me to know it.

But my favorite one time memory was when Santa came to visit me. Late one night close to Christmas, I was awakened from a sound sleep by someone bellowing my name and lots of "ho, ho, ho's" from our kitchen. I rolled over, and there in my doorway was Santa, complete with a big bag of toys. I was awed. I don't remember what present he gave me to open that night. I just remember feeling so very special. Several years later, I learned that it was my uncle. He had decided to dress up and visit. My cousins were in the doorway the whole time giggling (they were quite a few years older than me) and I never even noticed them. I only had eyes for Santa. To this day, it's one of my best childhood memories.

Be sure to visit all the other Fun Monday participants!

Picasso and Roomie

Back when I was a Purdue Undergrad, I met this nice girl in a class the first week of classes. She was friendly and local, and we became friends. She talked me into going to a Little Sister rush with her and her best friend. And surprisingly, I walked away from that house knowing I had found my home on campus. When your pledge period is over, the Little Sister liaison from the fraternity gives you a nickname. The best friend had become my best friend, and we were the three amigos together. My name was Roomie, and her name was Picasso. The third girl, the one that brought us together...we eventually lost touch. Her life changed, and she left school well before us. But Picasso and I, we stuck it out. We lived in a one bedroom apartment together for 2 years, then moved into a 3 bedroom with a crazy chick, and then I shared her efficiency for several months. And almost 17 years later, we're still best friends. We have never managed to live closer than 12 hours apart, but we're still friends. We still have the same thoughts and views on so many subjects. She's PB's godmother, and their honorary Aunt. And when she got off the plane, she had the same pair of shoes I had in my closet at home, just in brown (mine are black).

Let's not wait another five years.

Wordless Wednesday

Feeling nostalgic...my bestest friend is coming to visit.

Seven Facts meme

I was tagged by Jennie to do the Seven facts meme almost 2 weeks ago. I haven't done a meme before, but I'll see how badly I can screw it up. Here are the rules (that I'll ignore.)

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.

2. Share seven facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

3. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


Oh lordy.

1. I am really shy. People who've known me for a while or meet me in a setting that I feel very comfortable in won't believe me when I say this. But put me in a room full of people that I've never met before and I clam up.

2. I have a bit of a potty mouth. I try really hard not to use those words, but they do slip out when they really shouldn't.

3. I hate chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream.

4. I can shoot a gun fairly well. I may not kill with one shot, but you will be hurting.

5. I have a college degree in Agricultural Economics with an emphasis on Food Marketing. And I was a little sister at an Agricultural fraternity. This is ironic, because when I graduated from high school, I swore I wouldn't have anything else to do with farmers or farms. But after less than one semester, I found that what I had left really wasn't that bad.

6. I do not work in Agriculture or Food marketing at all.

7. I was a cheerleader for one season in middle school. I quickly realized that I didn't fit in as a cheerleader.

Whew....that was hard. And I don't even know who to tag, cause most of the people I read have already done this. Guess I'll just tag anyone who's interested.

Sweet Child of

Writing about my prom got me thinking back the other day. And then I read some funny "Quizzes" on a few other blogs and decided to find some pertaining to my teenage years. Here you go...proof that I graduated in 1991.

You Are 96% A Child of the 80s

There's hardly a moment of the 80s that you missed out on. Was there ever a better decade? As if!

Are You a Child of an 80s?

You Are 64% A Child of the 90s

Wassup!?! You remember the 90s like they were yesterday. And you're ready to open up a can of whoop-ass on any other decade.

Are You a Child of an 90s?

Prom

Loralee is asking for our prom stories, and since I am a lemming it sounds fun, I thought I would try and dredge up those memories.

My final high school had a junior/senior prom. The juniors did all the work, raised all the money and paid to attend, and the seniors did nothing and attended for free. I was on the Prom committee my junior year. I bought the dress, decided on the hair, had a date and cute shoes...and was diagnosed with Mono the week before. Yes, mono...the only known case in three counties. So, I didn't attend prom that year. My boyfriend came over and we watched movies and DIDN'T kiss.

I have to give an aside here. My boyfriend was in college an hour away. This was before the days of cell phones and such. I had to call his mom to tell her I had mono. Here's the conversation...

Me: Hi Mrs. M. It's me, J's girlfriend.
Her: Hi sweetie. What's up?
Me: Well, I had to go to the doctor and have blood work today, and I found out...
Her: (interrupting) OMG, please do not tell me your pregnant!
Me: Uhm, no...uhm, really...uhm, I was just going to tell you I have mono. So he might want to be aware in case he doesn't feel well.
Her: Oh thank God. I'm so glad that's it.

Uhm, yeah, I had been dating her son for about a month at that time. Great conversation.

Anyway, back to prom.

So my Senior year, I had the dress and shoes and all that taken care of. I even splurged for some tanning since I didn't have to buy all that stuff. The only thing missing was my date.

Finally, in a fit of desperation, one of my best (male) friends and I decided to go together. At the last minute, our other friends boyfriend got sick and she joined us. We went to everyone's house and did the required pictures, headed through the Golden Arches for dinner, and off we went. Prom itself was pretty lame...dancing and hanging out, just dressed better. But after-prom...it turned out to be a blast.

One of the girls had a boy from another state come to accompany her. She basically ditched him at after-prom to flirt with some other guy. So he hung out with us. He was cute and we had fun. After the party, we drove around the huge university in town, picking flowers (I learned later how illegal that was) closing down taco bell, and just generally running wild. It was a really good time, and one of my best memories from high school.

Of course, getting to work by 11 am the next day sucked, but it was good practice for college.