Five Petal Daisy

One month down...one year down...one day down.

2012-02-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

January is a tough month for most people. It's dark, dreary and cold. Your resolutions that sounded like such great ideas at the beginning of the month are either long gone and fueling your guilt or have totally turned into a chore. Movie and music releases are slower, television shows are in reruns, it's all glum after party let down.

February, you start to pick up a bit. You picture the good things ahead. You either look forward to Valentine's day, or you look forward to boycotting and complaining about it.

Today is the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death. She was my last living grandparent. She watched me when I was a small child, helping me with my homework and scraped knees. She wasn't the grandmotherly type, often issuing rules that made me mad. But I always knew she loved me.

I remember my grandparents buying me a doll house for Christmas one year...a huge monstrosity wooden kit. My grandparents quickly realized that this was way above their skill set, and returned it for a pre-fab pink plastic one. But she took the extra money and bought a wooden furniture set. The miniature pieces required assembly with glue and stickers and paint. My grandmother sat at the dining table with me working on those tiny pieces, mumbling under her breath, after school for weeks. I loved them. I played with them for years, and my girls played with that dollhouse for a few years.

I am a reformed pack rat. My life changed many times growing up, and holding on to things gave me a sense of peace. As an adult, I've had to learn how to let go of those things, whether thanks to a flooded basement or a general lack of space. The things I keep now must be very special or beautiful or functional. I still have that furniture, in a shoe box in a plastic tote.

My grandmother was very difficult in her later years. My mother and her never had an "easy" relationship, although they would both argue that it was the best it could be. The stories her friends told at her memorial helped me remember the fun things about her. And time has allowed me to pull those memories up more readily. And I've seen some of the things I get from her.

Today, I miss my grandma. I'm not sad that passed, as she lived a long life. But I do wish that I had taken the time to learn more about her from before she was my grandmother, before she was a wife and mother. I wish I had thanked her more often for the memories she did give me.

I think I need to visit with my furniture tonight.

BHBC - Why Women Need Fat

2012-01-12T06:02:00.000-05:00

When I first opened Why Women Need Fat, I sighed a little inside. I see these type of books, and they intrigue me, but then I start reading and after struggling through a chapter or two, I lose interest. I might pick it up here and there trying to get through it, but it's slow progress. And the first chapter or two, I felt that slight intrigue, but was still worried. Not to mention, another diet book...really?

But once I got started, I actually wanted to read this book.

The authors believe that we need to go back to a diet similar to that of our ancestors...hunters and gatherers. The explosion of Vegetable fats in our food has created a surplus of Omega 6 in our bodies and an extreme deficit of Omega 3, which ultimately causes our body to crave more fat.

As I read the various points they make, I found myself nodding my head in agreement. My husband and I have been working towards eating a more natural diet for the last several years, striving hard for moderation. A peak inside our cabinets will show that we have a ways to go, but slowly we are making a dent. We've discussed how different girls bodies are than when we were their age, including the large number of teen girls with belly rolls.

I do wish that the authors would have at least acknowledged that it wasn't just the diets of our ancestors, but the activity levels as well that helped them to be thinner. I also would have liked to seen moderation discussed a little more...butter is fine, but we shouldn't eat sticks of it every day.

I'm not sure that reading this book will create a radical change in my diet or thinking, but I do believe that it will help me be even more informed when reading food labels, and allow me to make better choices for my family.

Disclosure Statement: This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own

Sick

2012-01-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

I owe you week one's uploads, but I'm sick and trying to finish a book for a book review. I'll be in later this week with week ones. That's the nice thing about creating my own challenge, I can be flexible.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T14:08:00.001-05:00

I don't really like the idea of resolutions. They never last. But I do plan to continue a few trends this year.

First, I am more committed to my weight loss journey than I was before. I have a taste of the person I used to be, and I plan to find her, then re-mold her into something even better. I have plans to shake up my work out routine, and I'm seriously considering a couch to 5K in a few months. I will eat healthy and I will feel better.

I am also committing to becoming a better photographer. I have a very nice camera and I need to use it more often. And when I don't have it, I will use my iPhone and that will be okay. I've been thinking about doing the 365 project but shuddered at some of the guidelines. Taking the pictures isn't the issue so much as uploading them is. So I'm creating my own 366 project (it is leap year). I'm going to do a 366/52.2 project. I will take some sort of picture every day. I will commit to uploading and posting about it once a week. I have created a group in Flickr here and will be posting the pics there and here. I may post them there more often than once a week, but I will post them here every Monday. Join me if you like!

Today we cleaned the house of all it's Christmas decorations. And the shed and garage and back porch. And got the laundry done. I'm tired.

Labels

2011-12-29T22:16:00.001-05:00

Labels. We all wear them. Some we've had all of our lives while others come and go. Daughter. Mother. Son. Father. Those are the easy labels.

Failure, unworthy, unlovable. Those come too easy as well. It's easy to look at small things in our lives and make them bigger than they really are. We think that because we didn't get that job or that person didn't fall in love with us we are any or all of those labels. Sometimes those labels stick with us through our whole lives, coloring our perceptions every day.

But each of us has the potential to wear better labels. Loving, kind, friend, lover. Those are all easy to wear as well. My goal moving forward is to wear those positive labels more than I wear the negative.

Santa, is that you?

2011-12-13T11:02:00.000-05:00

The Monster will be 9 this Friday. I really can't believe that. It seems like just the other day he was my little toddler monster.

Santa called to speak to him this evening. He spent about 2 minutes discussing his wish list and whether he should be on the naughty or nice list. It made my heart so happy to listen to him.

Finding me.

2011-12-12T14:22:00.000-05:00

I was feeling like this every day for a while. And while I chuckled while I read that, it wasn't really funny.

But you know what? I've snapped out of it. I sat myself down and told her to grow the heck up. It was time to put up or shut up. And any of those other cliche's you can think of.

This process actually started a year or so ago. I started realizing that I wasn't really happy. I was snappy, and grumpy, and fat, and feeling like a slug all the time. I had a procedure last year that helped with my endo, and I was starting to feel better. But I was still cranky, lazy, and fat.

At the end of July, I started Weight Watchers at work. After a few weeks, I realized that I needed to get moving in order to maximize my weight loss and feel better. I started going to Zumba at least twice a week. I started attending a weekly strength and toning class at work during one lunch hour.

Since July 26th, I have lost 35 pounds. I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel every day. I have more energy, feel better, sleep better, and feel more like me every day. I like putting on clothes, and am working on trying to allow myself to be in more pictures.

But I also realized that I needed to get healthier in every aspect, not just with my weight. So I've been working on my outlook and feelings. And I'm becoming more like me...the me of years ago.

But the journey is far from over. I have at least 40 more pounds to lose...possibly even more. I have found my voice again. I want to talk. The little things aren't as likely to send me into the spiral anymore. I've found my strength.

Chatty?

2011-12-11T21:37:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling chatty lately. Facebook friends are probably ready to kill me. I realized today that I need to start blogging these thoughts. Maybe I found my voice again? They're gonna be rough, but I'm gonna try to put them out there.

Today was a day of cooking...I made italian wedding soup for lunch and steak, scalloped potatoes and roasted broccoli and cauliflower for dinner. I also made Kale Chips for the first time...oh my, those are delicious! I also roasted chestnuts in the oven for the first time. I don't really like them, but I'm glad I tried them.

I also managed to get several Christmas projects knocked out. I have a lot more to go, but it felt good to have something done.

And I managed to get all of the family to put their clothes away. It's a Christmas miracle.

What to talk about this month.

2011-11-02T11:36:00.000-04:00

Today's post isn't going to be too exciting, but here it goes.

I am going to make a list of some of the things I want to blog about. Maybe if I put it out there for public consumption, I'll start working on it.

Weight loss and healthy eating
Parenting a college student who still lives at home
The visit to the fall fest
holiday traditions
my craft space
marriage
my thoughts on the recent protests

There are more...I know there are. But it's a start.

November? Already?

2011-11-01T10:29:00.000-04:00

I'm full of cliche's today. I can't believe it's November. It seems like it was just the first day of school, and the first marking period is already over. We are as busy as ever with the kids and their activities, and I went and signed up to do a craft show. Silly me.

In other news, here they are in all of their Halloween glory.

Bug as a witch to hand out candy.

PB...I'm not sure what she was? It started out wanting a mask,
then saw the wins and tutu, then the pantyhose. She's cute though.

The super stealthy ninja boy known as Monster.
Yes, we had him wear his martial arts uniform. I'm cheap, okay?

And off on another tangent, I signed up for NaBloPoMo...let's see how long I last.

31 days; day 4 - Family dinners

2011-10-04T20:25:00.000-04:00

Tuesday night has been martial arts night for a long time (although that is about to change...more on that later.) This means that I leave work, pick the Monster up, drive to martial arts, then finally get home around 6:15. Someone else is responsible for dinner, so that it's on the table when we get home.

When we came home last night, Monster asked if he could change the station, and Bug snapped at him. She was finishing up dinner, and I could tell that she was frustrated about something. I was giving her some space to work on a better mood, and trying not to get snappy with her.

We sat down to eat, and she had burned the side dish, so what was supposed to be white was more beige. There was some conversation about the brown flecks, and she was moping a little. Her father told her it was fine, she just infused the flavor of camping over a wood fire.

I bought the Monster a Would You Rather book at the book fair yesterday. He started talking about them with us at the table.

By the end of dinner, we were all laughing and joking, and grumpiness was banished.

I love our family dinners. They are the one thing that I strive to have almost every night. Sometimes we may not all be sitting there, but those that are home are expected to join us. Sometimes they end up in grumpiness still, but the majority of the time, they end up in laughter and family togetherness.

31 days; day 3 Blessings - time with my honey

2011-10-03T21:21:00.000-04:00

My honey and I got to spend the day together today, and a nap was included on the schedule. Today was a great day!

31 days, day 2 - The house is still standing

2011-10-02T21:44:00.001-04:00

My husband was away with cub scouts this weekend, working on his Woodbadge training. The dog has been having stomach issues for the last few nights, which means much cleaning of feces. Tonight, the Monster stopped up the toilet, and decided to flush it twice to try and make it unstop. Needless to say, water and feces went everywhere. Bug and I are sick of cleaning up poop.

But I cleaned it up, the dog is on a strict water only diet until tomorrow to try and clean out his system, and the house is still standing. My husband came home and we had a yummy dinner with much laughing and chatting. All in all, not a bad day.

31 days; Day 1

2011-10-01T21:27:00.002-04:00

Today was a good day. PB had her 13th birthday party last night/today, and that generates my blessing today.

I am blessed to have a daughter, but I'm even more blessed to have a daughter that I love dearly, and love to spend time with. She is a sweet girl, and the circle of friends she has developed is strong. Watching her open the gifts they gave, you could tell these girls knew her. The amount of giggling and laughing that went on in this house in the approximately 17 hours they were here was amazing, and the feeling that they aren't uncomfortable if an adult is nearby is sweet. After they left, we created fabric backings for two of her shelves. We worked together comfortably with some giggling, and her bookshelves look great now.

I never want to take this girl for granted. She can drive me crazy, but overall, she is a sweet, smart and caring girl.

31 days

2011-09-30T23:00:00.000-04:00

I've joined the 31 days challenge. Every day for the month of October, I will be posting about Blessings. I know I live a blessed life, and I want to make sure that I'm looking for them every day. Join me? I even made myself a little button...see it over there? I'm learning new things every day :)

updating

2011-09-27T21:52:00.001-04:00

I'm trying to get back into the mood to make my blog pretty. I'm not sure about this background...I think it's too busy. I need to sit down and work on a header, but I just haven't had the time. I am behind in a ton of areas, and I don't see it getting better.

Fall weather is on its way, and I am so ready.

I've been doing Weight Watchers for 10 weeks, and I've lost 20 lbs. That's a little more than 2 lbs a week (week one doesn't count) so I'm excited. I've been going to Zumba at least a couple of times a week as well, and I'm enjoying the extra energy I've acquired. I have a long way to go. I've been hesitant to blog about my weight loss journey, but I think I will begin.

I also want to make some blog buttons. I'm loving Pinterest and want lots of people to follow me!

Phoning it in

2011-09-14T22:01:00.001-04:00

I'm trying out some apps in hopes I'll blog more if I can post from my phone.

7 days is coming!

2011-09-14T21:33:00.003-04:00

I'm posting to help me remember that 7 days starts on Saturday. I will participate this time, I will participate this time...you get the idea.

Book Review time

2011-08-16T22:13:00.000-04:00

Psst...guess what?

I had the chance to join the BlogHer Book Club.

My review of the book "A Good Hard Look" is up over here!

Update on the Craziness

2011-08-15T14:10:00.003-04:00

We discovered Saturday that the car didn't just break on it's own...it broke when it collided with the driver's side rear tire on our jeep. Since it's been over a week, they won't do an accident report, only an incident report. Our only recourse, except our own insurance, is to find out who owned the car and sue them. Yay. The police officer did tow the car, so at least it's no longer causing problems getting in and out of our driveway.

The Heroin House drama continues. The renters are from another country, and at least one is being deported. We lock our house and cars and set our alarm now and try not to stare when we go out front. They've recently moved some furniture out of the house. I hope they are truly moving, and not just moving product!

Military needs

2011-08-14T14:05:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week, the husband had to go to Walter Reed for a medical appointment and I decided to ride along. This isn't the first time we've had to go there, but this time was a bit more bittersweet than the last. As we were winding our way through the crazy corridors trying to locate the correct office, all around were people packing up offices, searching for boxes, talking about moving schedules. The next time we have to go for a special medical appointment, we'll be heading to Bethesda instead. It's amazing to think about the legacy of that building, and of the history that has been contained within it's walls.

The military medical system is a difficult system to use. The logistics of doctors, nurses, and technicians relocating every few years guarantees that your care will be routinely handled by a different person, and sometimes it affects the consistency of care you receive. In recent years, the military health system has come under greater scrutiny, and Walter Reed was at the center of that scrutiny. Changes were made, and are still being made. I'm hopeful that these changes bring about a greater level of care for our wounded soldiers. I appreciate the many people who work within this system daily, trying to provide the needed services for those who have sacrificed for their fellow man.

Sometimes it's hard to see what the members of America's military do to protect us here at home. We hear about them fighting the war overseas and we hear people's opinion on those wars. We hear about the casualties and the bad things that happen. And occasionally we hear about the good things they are doing over there. And then those men and women come home, hopefully safely, and try to live their everyday lives. Many of those serving overseas are members of the Guard or Reserves. The military is not their normal life, and no matter how they serve, normal life has continued while they were away. They have to learn to live a life that has changed. They may not bear physical wounds, but anyone that has deployed to a war zone will tell you that they have a new reality when they return home. Some of them bear scars that no one will ever see.

Our country struggles to handle these wounded veterans. The system wants to point fingers and cover up blame. Our elected officials worry more about the next election than the do the quality of life for our military members and their families. Sure, it's nice to attend Easter egg hunts and ballgames and concerts. And those events make great photo ops. But what our service members need is care. They need to know that they will receive their pay on time. They need to know that they will receive the best medical treatments available, both for them and their families. They need to know that the equipment and buildings they use are built to the highest standard, not the lowest. They need to know that the retirement benefits they've been counting on will be there when they retire.

Where I make up new seasons

2011-08-11T13:22:00.000-04:00

It's beautiful here right now...sort of like Indian Fall in the middle of August (what? That isn't a real thing? We have Indian Summer in the fall, why can't we have Indian Fall in the Summer?) Temps in the low 80's with no humidity. Lows at night in the high 60's/low 70's. It's like a little blessing in the middle of all the heat we've been living through. I plan on enjoying it for all it's glory, until the next heat wave crushes us. Probably in September :)

Strolling through the craziness...

2011-08-10T22:42:00.003-04:00

Around 3 am on Friday morning, I woke from a deep sleep to the sound of metal clanging along blacktop. I jumped out of bed to look out the window, and see someone parked next to our Jeep on the road, getting out and walking around. I tell my husband that it looks like someone is messing with our car.

He jumps out of bed, throws on some shorts and runs out front to see what is going on. He comes in a few minutes later to get a flashlight. The guy was leaving his friends house in our development when his car broke...the front tire is rubbing against the wheel well, and he destroyed his transmission. In the midst of this, his beer spilled all over him and his car. I'm sure it wasn't his first or only. My husband tries to help him move the car out of the middle of the road, but drunk guy isn't really cooperating, and keeps refusing to call a tow truck. Around 3:45 we give up on him and try to go back to bed.

Friday afternoon, the neighbor comes out to tell us that he helped push the guys car off the street. Which is nice, except it's perfectly lined up with our driveway now, and makes getting in and out of our driveway difficult. He also told us that a major drug bust occurred in the rental house located diagonally from us. The tenants have lived there for a month...we live in a nice development.

On Saturday, Monster and I had a little stroll through the woods. Well, actually, it was a leave no trace hike with his cub scout pack. We took the short trail, and 3 miles later we finally were hot and thirsty and ready to go. But first, Monster and I had to take a visit to the nature center. I loved the displays in there, but these two were my favorites.

After that, we went to our local orchard for the annual festival, enjoyed some free peach ice cream and a hay ride. My mil invited the kids over to swim, so I took Monster home to get his bathing suit. As I pulled into my drive, there was a police officer parked behind the car and in front of the drug bust house. I did a few things in the yard while he ran inside, then had a discussion with the officer about the car. Unfortunately, they can't tow it, but can only continue to ticket it for being parked the wrong direction. As I was leaving, my mom pulled up and joined me. We were almost out of the development when I realized I had left my phone on the bumper of my car. I turned around to go home and prayed that it wasn't destroyed. I couldn't find it. We finally found it where I had turned around, and the screen was shattered. I was sick...I literally thought I would throw up. My mom took Monster over to swim, and I googled trying to figure out what my options were.

I stayed home Sunday and finished rearranging and cleaning my craft area. (more to come on this!) I needed to soothe my nerves.

On Monday, we drove the hour north to the nearest Apple Store, and the awesome Genius offered me a one time replacement on my phone for free. I wanted to hug him!

The car is still sitting there, and the drug bust house is still occupied, now with a new member and a pit bull...oh yay! Hopefully I don't have another weekend like that anytime soon!

Vacation

2011-07-01T14:23:00.002-04:00

As of today, I am on vacation until Tuesday, July 12th. I plan on doing a lot of sleeping and cleaning of the pigsty we call a house over the next few days, and then? I don't know, but it won't be work related, I can tell you that.

Sooo...

2011-06-21T12:46:00.002-04:00

That didn't last long, huh?

Anyway. Here's the thing. I'm trying to live my life, not just bounce between blog posts. And I spend way too much time on Facebook and stupid games, and this other site that I feels like a guilty pleasure (no I'm not sharing.) I've cut back on those items, and I'm trying to spend more time being productive. I don't just mean in the get the house cleaned and bills paid way. I mean in tickling my kids, going blueberry picking, making jam, etc. All the things I love to do. And here's where I struggle. I want to blog about some of these things. I want this to be like a diary of sorts of our days. But I've always sucked at keeping a diary. And it seems like I spend so much time doing the things that I enjoy, and working, that there just isn't time for the blogging stuff. I'm okay with that to a certain extent, but something has got to give a little. Because now I'm slowly losing my time to do fun stuff, and it seems all I'm doing is work, chores, chauffeuring, etc. And it's taking it's toll on my mind and body.

So I'm not going to apologize for being a bad blogger. I've come to realize that most of the people I enjoy reading don't have jobs outside of their homes. They are either freelancers or stay at home moms. And I'm not. I work a full time job with three kids. The simple fact is that I have to be up at 5:45 every morning to take my kids to school or camp or whatever and get to work on time. And then I have to leave work and spend the rest of my free time taking care of the things that need taken care of. This is the season I'm in, and it's probably not going to end for quite a few more years. I have to come to terms with this, or I have to figure out how to no longer be a worker bee.

This is a work in progress. We shall see.

I'm trying

2011-06-09T11:01:00.007-04:00

to be a better blogger. I want to blog. I have tons of things I want to share. And then I can never find the gumption to actually write the words. But I'm going to try. So for the rest of this week, I've told myself that there is no pressure to write great posts. So I'm just going to throw some words up here each day.

It is hot here. We normally don't have 100 degree days until July or August. But yesterday was 95 and today is supposed to be even hotter. We've had ozone action days for the last week. My 12 year old's gym teacher decided they should still go outside for gym. He's lucky she didn't end up in an asthma attack...argh.

I'm so ready for school to be over. 4 more days, and three of those are half days. I'm tired of homework. The 12 year old was up until almost 11 finishing an assignment tonight.

I made potato skins tonight. My kids were amazed! Silly kids.

Things I've been enjoying...

2011-06-08T16:48:00.000-04:00

Jason Mraz and Jack Johnson stations on Pandora.

Getting a long awaited sewing project underway, and hopefully done soon.

Camping with my family.

Hiking up a mountain, including a rock scramble.

Seeing my oldest graduate from high school in the top 5% of her class, and anticipating her new future.

Seeing my oldest enjoying her friends at her graduation party, and seeing how effortlessly they include the younger kids in their group.

Seeing activities starting to come to an end, so that we have some nights at home again.

Watching my middle child as she is inducted into NJHS. She is such a smart one...and so loved by everyone.

Watching my baby excel in reading and being a friend and baseball.

2011-05-19T23:51:00.002-04:00

Latest creation

The weekly roundup

2011-05-09T12:08:00.000-04:00

I may start trying to do this. I find a lot of well written thoughts on the various blogs, and usually want to just add a little blurb, so I'll share here.

Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry wrote the most beautiful words about grace and gratitude the other day:

I begin to question myself. Is it something I did? Have I become less of a person? Is my heart not as grateful as it used to be? I hope not but it’s possible. So, I’m watching myself, I’m trying to be careful. I want to live with grace and gratitude, I don’t want to be bitter and wear ugliness on my sleeve and I try to be aware of this at all times but maybe I’ve let it slip past me.

Seriously, go read the whole post. Then read the rest of her site. She is such a sweet woman, and I love getting a little taste of my (sort of) home state that I miss so much.

Mir at Woulda Coulda Shoulda always makes me laugh and cry, usually in one post. She also writes at Off Our Chests, and I loved this post. I struggle with my body image, and I've been trying so hard to change my habits. Having girl children has helped, as I never want them to feel about their bodies like I have about mine, so I bite my tongue so much about my body when they are around.

Random thoughts

2011-04-20T16:01:00.000-04:00

I suck right now. I can't keep anything together. Part of me realizes I'm like this every spring, but it does seem to get worse every year. Work is a crazy mess, our schedule is a crazy mess, I'm not doing any of the things I want to do (because I like to sleep...the 6 or so hours I'm eeking out these days isn't enough, so I definitely can't decrease that number any.)

I started blogging to share, and to record. And I'm sucking hugely at that. So, I'm going to start throwing some little random thoughts up. I'm trying to slowly clean up some of the parts of these here space as well.

Last night Monster had his third baseball game. Can I just tell you that 7-8 year old boys are the sweetest age for baseball. (Girls are probably cute at that age with baseball as well, but we don't have any on our team.) They are really starting to understand the fundamentals of the game, but they are still so excited when something works right, and aren't afraid to show their enthusiasm. Of course it helps that we have an awesome team with a great coach. Really, I've been very impressed with our coach this year. He has worked hard on teaching the fundamentals to these kids, making sure that they do things the correct way without sounding like he is harping. And you see that when you watch them play another team. Our boys know what they are supposed to be doing. They aren't perfect, and they still miss a lot, but the basic principles are there. And of course, they are just so sweet looking in their uniforms.

PB (I need new nicknames...hmm, have to work on that) is doing so great. She was selected to participate in Mandarin Chinese classes through the school next year. She is so excited, and so am I. She's going to end up being so smart it's expensive :)

Bug is graduating in a little over a month. She was accepted into several schools, but will probably be going to the in state school and living at home. She has a sweet set up and knows it...lol. Seriously, besides saving us some cash, it gives us a chance to help her mature some more. She has the academics down, but some of those life skills need a little work.

Wow, that sounds like a Christmas letter...lol.

Spring days...at last?

2011-04-18T15:46:00.000-04:00

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, I went for a walk, I had windows open, it was gorgeous. Unfortunately, we only have these every 7 or 8 days for the last several weeks. I need real spring to get here now!

The trees are blooming though. We've spent time at the park, and working in the yard, and gone for some walks. Now to get the back porch cleaned off so we can hang out there, eating dinner or enjoying a fire.

What's your favorite part of spring?

dealing with death

2011-02-28T22:07:00.000-05:00

Growing up, I was doted on by all four of my grandparents. On my dad's side of the family, I was the baby, born of the baby. I spent a month every summer with my grandparents, visited them several times a year, and was the apple of their eye. I practically lived with my mom's parents until I was 9, when my grandfather died. My grandmother was a homemaker, and watched me while my mom worked. Since my mom was a single mom and my dad wasn't very good about sending the meager child support he was supposed to pay, sometimes that would be my mom working 2 or 3 jobs at a time. The majority of the time that I wasn't in school, I was at my grandparent's house. And on weekends we were together, camping, going to boat or camper shows, etc. I adored my grandfather, and I loved my grandmother.

Once my grandfather died, we moved back to my parent's home state, and over the next several year my dad's parents passed. I was sad, I loved them so much, but I was young and resilient.

In early January, my grandmother went into the hospital with a collapsed lung. After three weeks, a minor heart attack, a bit of time on the ventilator, and a stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis, she was released to my mother's house with hospice on a Saturday. On Wednesday evening she passed away.

Her passing was bittersweet. She was 86 years old, and had lived a full life. She wasn't in much pain, and she wasn't suffering for a long time....but it's always sad when people pass.

It's amazing the work that goes into burying the dead. Three weeks and lots of work later, it seems to mostly be resolved, but wow has it been a lot.

In a few months, my mother and I will be sitting down to discuss her wishes. My grandmother refused to do this, and I really feel that it made it harder for my mom.

RIP Grandma. I do love you.

Life is hectic

2011-01-16T23:46:00.000-05:00

I've been enjoying a much needed visit with my Best Friend in the whole world. Work is going crazy, my husbands job is driving him nuts, the weather sucks majorly, but life sure does look better after a few days with here here :)

Now if I could figure out a way to get her closer more often...

It's Christmas Eve...and

2010-12-24T15:01:00.000-05:00

I've had several post ideas that just didn't flesh out. I've got 7 days shots backed up. I have projects to finish and wrapping to complete and there is still church this evening.

But first, I have to tell you how I've cried so many tears this year. So many bad things exist in the world. My teenager and I had a discussion about this recently...she feels that there is way more wrong with the world than there is good, and that made me so sad.

I wish she knew people like Jenny, and Heather. And all the people that responded to their requests...all the people who really cared, and believed that one small act can make a big difference.

I'm so happy to hear about things like this. I'm happy when I hear about people helping people. Maybe we can't fix the big things that are wrong, but we can make the world better for at least a few.

Merry Christmas everyone. Please cherish all that you have in your life!

2010-12-14T20:17:00.000-05:00

Brenda is one of the first people I met through the internet. I've read her blog for years, and I was so pleased to find her as wonderful in person as she seems on her blog. The last month has seen some big changes for her and her bug. To make Christmas a little sweeter, and working to earn money so much easier, Heather is running a sweet program. If you could squeeze a few extra dollars from your budget, check out the great project to make Brenda feel the love!

A Doctor's Visit- growing up version

2010-12-10T08:35:00.000-05:00

So I took the kids to the doctor's earlier this week for their annual well-visits, with a side of shots. I really can't remember if I posted about this before, but taking my kids for shots is akin to wrestling an octopus while someone tries to tranquilize it. To say that they hate getting shots would be an understatement.

Several years ago, PB had to get shots unexpectedly. While we waited for the nurse to come back in, she chanted "I'll do it tomorrow" over and over working herself into a frenzy. By the time the nurse came in (10 minutes later), we had to have another nurse come help hold her down so that the first nurse could give her a the shot. She screamed and cried and thrashed about. It was hell, and I was crying by the end of it. The Monster's next visit wasn't as bad, but was still hard.

So the next year, I didn't tell them they were getting shots. They didn't ask, and I didn't tell (I am a military wife you know ). When the nurse brought the shots in, my sons look could have killed me. It was still hard, but at least it was only hard for a minute or so.

This year, I was upfront. I told them earlier in the week that they had doctor's appts, and that they would be getting shots. My mom offered to go with us, and I thought that would be great. Normally, I'm busy trying to help the child currently getting shots and I feel like I'm not "there" for the other one. But of course, this time, both of them took them like champs. Figures. The nurses have gotten smart, and they give the kids those frozen Popsicle tubes. They have them hold them where they are going to give the shot for a few minutes, and once the shots are done they can eat them. That helped A LOT!

I had quite a few chuckles in that room though. My son has a toe that makes a popping noise. It is one of his greatest pleasures in life to sit with his sisters, put his foot on them and make his toe pop. This elicits great shrieks of "ew gross, get it off me!" from the girls, which of course sends him into great gales of laughter. Being the mama, I was concerned and asked the doctor about it. She confirmed that it seemed okay, that we all have joints that popped. She then told him he shouldn't torment his sisters like that, as it was bad for his toe. He said darn, and she told him he would have to find another way to torment her. Much giggling ensued.

After it was all over, I had to praise them. I often tell my kids that sometimes we have to do things we don't like, and they may even hurt, but if it's necessary to stay healthy, we just have to suck it up and deal. And that is what they did with the shots, and I am so proud of them.

And so happy I don't need the flask to get through an appointment any longer.

Happy Holidays

2010-12-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

I hope you've begun to enjoy the Holiday Season!

Friday morning outlook

2010-11-05T08:47:00.000-04:00

Yay, it's Friday! Only 4 more working days until my mini-vacation. Not going anywhere, just not going to work. Yay!

Friday's are so nice. Work is always quiet since a lot of people take Friday's off. Of course, productivity could go either way on Friday. Sometimes we all just want to stand around chat...it's Friday! Sometimes it's nose to the grindstone...I don't want to have to deal with this next week. I'm hoping today is a good blend of both.

Trying to get on track

2010-11-04T22:02:00.000-04:00

The last few months have taken a toll on me. My house is a mess (it's clean thanks to bi-weekly cleaning lady visits.) My schedule is a mess. My eating and exercising ae sad.

So, tonight I went to my first Zumba class. It's some me time and I really enjoyed it. I was working up a sweat in about 10 minutes. Next week I tackle the eating habits.

And maybe this weekend I can get some cleaning done in the house.

Not a Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-03T11:43:00.000-04:00

I wanted to do a Wordless Wednesday today, but my camera and I haven't been friends much lately. I hope that changes soon.

Life has been way to hectic lately. I've found myself wishing I had the time to stop and capture the beauty of fall. This weekend I will carve out time to do just that.

Civic Duties

2010-11-02T22:07:00.000-04:00

1. I voted today. I am very blessed to be able to do so, and I totally get that.
2. Luckily, I did not have the feeling of panic that I endured while voting two years ago. Not because I felt so strongly about any of the candidates, but because the positions we were voting for didn't seem so important. I understand that government at all levels is important. The decisions that the elected officials make have a major impact on all parts of my life...from the trash pick up for my house to the paycheck I receive. But when we vote for the Governor and President, it truly makes me sick to my stomach. I didn't want to vote for either of the candidates in either of those races.
3. I still didn't really care for the majority of the people listed on that ballot. Most of the ones I wanted to (and some I did) vote for weren't going to win. They were the Independent people...they just aren't going to win here.
4. I voted for those people anyway. I crossed my fingers, sent my wishes up high, and figured at the least, I wasn't voting for either of the people I really disliked.
5. I'm tired of the campaigning. It isn't really about what anyone believes or is going to do for us, it's about what dirt they can dig up on their opponents. Seriously, I'm from the state that has now been a joke on Saturday Night Live because there were reports that one of the candidates was a witch. Really? That's what is most important in the election? How about we talk about the economy? Unemployment? Health care? Military spending...I could go on and on about the topics that should be covered.
6. I thought news outlets were supposed to be fair and impartial. Hah.
7. Campaign reform needs to happen. Not just about fundraising and spending, but about how people campaign.
8. I really don't care that you dabbled in witchcraft, that you are a Mormon or Christian or Agnostic, that you were divorced, that you like to have a glass of wine every night. Those things (for the most part) don't matter. None of us is perfect, and we have all done things in our life that we are not proud of. If we learned from those things, grew and changed our ways, then we've lived a good life. Move on and tell me what you are going to do in the future. And then do it.
9. Watching the results pour in, I'm sick to my stomach. People talk about wanting change, that the system we have isn't working, but when push comes to shove, they vote the same way they always have, at least in the state I live in.
10. I will wake up tomorrow, and nothing will have changed. I will wake up in January and nothing will have changed. While I truly believe that Democracy is a great thing, I am saddened by the direction our country is heading now.

On love and life and all the stuff in between

2010-11-01T13:03:00.000-04:00

I married my husband thirteen years ago. We met almost fourteen years ago. We knew each other less than three months when he asked me to marry him and I agreed. Eight months later we were married. We almost gave up several times in those first five years. There was love and happiness, but there was a lot of stress as well. We were so poor, and struggling just to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and heat in the house. We'd be so happy if we could make it to store without kids. Jobs were lost, money was tight, life happened. Somehow, we stuck it out. And life got easier. Marriage was easier.

Then we prepared for a year apart, spent that year apart, and the last year getting readjusted. Again it hasn't been easy. I am not the best at long distance relationships of any kind. I have a hard time with the work that goes into staying connected and involved. Perhaps that's why I am only close to one person from my college days, and only stay in touch with others from high school and college by Facebook. I want to do better, but the time and energy are used up elsewhere. But with my husband, I worked. I worked hard that year.

And it's still not easy. The relationship changed. We've had our struggles this year. After being the sole person in charge of the household for a year, it's hard to reintegrate another adult. After a year of only being responsible for himself and some basic chores besides work, it's hard to reintegrate into life with kids, household responsibilities, and less freedom. And I'll admit, for a while there, we sucked. It wasn't working. And it was hard.

But through it all, I tried to remember one fact. I love this man. Even during the hardest times, when I want to scream and yell and cry and fight, I love him. I committed to being his wife, through all of the times, not just the good or easy ones. And what sort of role model would I be for my children if I just quit whenever the going got rough.

It's still not easy. He's going to school full time at night while also working full time. He misses things, he can't help out as much around the house and with the kids. I get frustrated...I need a break, and I don't see him offering one, and I get mad. He gets frustrated for the same reasons. But I take a deep breath, and remind myself that this too shall pass.

Let me clarify here, I am not saying that you should never consider divorce, that YOU should stick it out no matter what. There are many situations in which you should leave. Each person deserves to be happy, to live their best life. And if divorce is the only way to do so, then so be it. I will do my best to not judge you, especially if I know how hard you've worked, how much you struggled. But I will be sad for you, and I will wish that things could be different.

As for me, I've told my husband this before, and I post it here for all the world to see. I am committed to our marriage. I am committed to making it be all that it can be, to working through the hard times, enjoying the fun times, and to still be doing so when we are old.

Wow, do I have stories to tell

2010-09-29T22:56:00.000-04:00

I had a small procedure, ended up with pneumonia, got an (old) iPhone, had the screen crack, our hot water heater broke, and my laptop is possessed. I also went on a really cool tour of a bridge being built. Hopefully, I'll feel up to blogging shortly...I have lots to share!

We all like to Do Fun Stuff!

2010-08-30T10:22:00.000-04:00

I've been reading Ryan over at Pacing the Panic Room for close to two years now. I love the way he writes, and his photography is amazing. I got hooked when he did a maternity series with his wife, Cole. It's amazing to see how much he wants to change the world, and how motivated he is.

His step-son, LB, has SMS. This is a disease that won't go away, and that will cause him issues through out the rest of his life. Unfortunately, it's a very rare disease, and therefore there isn't a lot of information out there. This past week was his 6th birthday, and in honor of that occasion, Ryan worked over the last year to put together an Album to raise funds for SMS research. The proceeds from Do Fun Stuff go into a fund which will provide grants to grad students who choose to make this disease their area of study. And the music is great for Kids and Adults, so we can enjoy it with our children!

Today, this album launches on Itunes. And all over the blogosphere, people are writing about it. But the best write up at all can be found at PTPR, written by Ryan himself. You can also click the really cut widget below to go to the Do Fun Stuff website.

Please, if you have kids, or just love pop music, here's a way to help and have some enjoyment at the same time. And you never know, you might find a new favorite band!

The end of the freedom days.

2010-08-23T00:03:00.000-04:00

I can't believe August is over half over...summer is coming to an end. The kids start school later this week. I wonder where the summer went? Didn't it just start last week?

I try to remind myself that going back to school doesn't signal the real end of summer...the weather will stay hot, and then warm, through all of September, and even into October. We'll have days in November that you can be outside in a long sleeve shirt and still be comfortable. But for some reason, summer signifies freedom. And with school starting back, that freedom is limited to the weekend. I'm just not ready for that. Neither is my boy...he's wishing for more swimming, more sand castle building and wave riding, more sleeping late and watching tv and hanging out in pj's a bunch. This week will be bittersweet for sure.

I've not written much the last few weeks, heck the last few months. I've been going through one of those seasons of life...the ones that feel a bit melancholy, and that sap your will to do much. I'm feeling like I'm starting to wake up from it, but I also feel like I missed summer...a month or two gone to this melancholy.

Perhaps I can cram a few more summer experiences in before the weather reminds me that fall is here.

completed

2010-08-09T09:44:00.001-04:00

So the trailer is gone, the yard is mowed and trimmed, I actually planted a few (clearance) bedding plants, the back deck is usable. Yay for us! It looks like we actually care about the house we own again!

Good thing I'm not inviting you inside. Goodness, I need some motivation and time off at the same time. Problem is that doesn't seem to be happening much lately.

Now, we're off to get Bug from the airport, with a stop at Ikea. Whoo hoo, I love going to Ikea.

Cleaning it up

2010-08-03T07:52:00.000-04:00

Hubby and I have several big-ish projects we've been working on around the house this summer. Unfortunately, with all the extra things and beach time, these projects haven't made it to the finished stage just yet. We've been remodeling our back deck, and cleaning out the garage and sprucing it up with paint and epoxy.

So, for the last couple of months, we've had an awning in our back yard housing the saw (see here) and a large trailer in our front yard.

We went through a period with high heat and no rain, so we weren't mowing. Then it rained, and we couldn't mow. As we're finishing up moving everything out of the garage into the trailer so we can expoxy the floor, I realize that the yard is out of control. And suddenly, I start laughing.

It looked like we were going into foreclosure.

I'm not going to lie, times are tight in our household. But the mortgage is the one thing that always gets paid and paid on time...we have it come right out of my hubby's paycheck. We aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

So last week I mowed. But the weedeater was in the storage trailer...way at the front. So it still looked scraggly.

This weekend I mowed and began pulling weeds. Last night, hubby trimmed with the weedeater and I finished pulling weeds.

By the end of this week, the trailer will be gone. And hopefully in the next few weeks, the back porch will be done. Just in time to enjoy the cooler weather that will be coming with back to school.

And I still want to put a sign in the yard...no, we aren't leaving!

Updates?

2010-08-02T16:31:00.000-04:00

Oh my, it's been a busy month! We've gone on vacation, the kids have had camp and camping, we celebrated National Ice Cream Day, met the internet again, and have just been busy. I have a ton of posts to sit down and type, but no stinking time right now. So this is my post. Later tonight, I hope to get moving with all the updates!

7 days, day 7 - It's Friday!

2010-06-25T22:53:00.000-04:00

7 days, day 7 - It's Friday!
Originally uploaded by mamalang

I was trying to get a picture of Nate, Boris and myself but it wasn't working..this was the first try, but I actually just really like this shot. Which I very rarely say about pictures of me.

7 days, day 6, me and my hubby.

2010-06-24T22:47:00.000-04:00

7 days, day 6, me and my hubby.
Originally uploaded by mamalang

This picture was taken on the plane ride home from Disney last fall, and my SIL framed it for us for Christmas. It sits on our kitchen counter, just a small reminder :) I'm also lightly reflected in the glass :)

7 days, day 5 - Keeping it Cool

2010-06-23T22:27:00.000-04:00

7 days, day 5 - Keeping it Cool
Originally uploaded by mamalang

It's even hotter, and tomorrow is supposed to be record breaking. One of my favorite meals to make when it's too hot to cook is this one, completely cooked on the grill. Very little dishes, and the house stays cool. Loose interpretation of the theme...but there you go. I like to bend the rules sometimes :)

7 days, day 4 -shadows in the rain

2010-06-22T21:26:00.000-04:00

7 days, day 4 -shadows in the rain
Originally uploaded by mamalang

It was hot here today...and tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter. But tonight, a strong thunderstorm went through and the temp fell 20 degrees. And yes, it looks like the tent is there for very small people, but it's covering the saw that we are using to work on our back deck.

7 days, day 3 - reflections

2010-06-21T23:15:00.000-04:00

7 days, day 3 - reflections
Originally uploaded by mamalang

When I opened my laptop on Christmas in 2008, I said "ooohhhh my shiny." And I still love it...:) Taken in my basement after a shower to wash off the stink of a bike ride in 90 degree weather. Now I'm ready for bed.

Day 2

2010-06-20T13:44:00.001-04:00

We're heading home today, and today's 7 days theme was hot.

The weather was beautiful while we were at the beach, but whenever we called home they kept saying how hot it was (only an hour and a half away.) We were confused...until we started driving home. Suddenly we hit the wall of heat...oh my. But driving along with the top down and the sun shining was heavenly!

Summer 7 days, day 1

2010-06-19T22:39:00.000-04:00

The summer run of 7 days began today, and I had to take advantage of the awesome scenery for my photo!

DDS and I were able to sneak away for a weekend at the beach tied to a marriage retreat. It was relaxing, and the weather was gorgeous. I spent some down time sitting on the balcony enjoying the sights and sounds of the beach below.

This week, I've been busy...

2010-06-04T23:16:00.000-04:00

Working...working, and working. It's the end of our fiscal year and I'm swamped.

Painting, painting, and painting. We are sprucing up our deck and screened porch, and it's been non-stop painting the last few nights. Hopefully tomorrow we'll be finishing up.

Hanging at the beach. Last Sunday was a gorgeous day of sun and sand.

Checking out the animals at the local zoo with first graders. It was sweltering hot, but they were so cute!

Popularity? No thanks.

2010-05-18T14:07:00.001-04:00

Remember when you were in school? Everyone wanted to be the cool kid, hang with the right crowd, be popular. If only you had the right clothes, the right hair cut, the right stuff.

And then we grow up. And that wanting, the urge, it never goes away. We want to be part of the "in" crowd at work, in organizations, etc. Even in the blogosphere.

But you know what I've learned? It's not all it's cracked up to be.

For years, I watched the group at work, longing to be invited to their happy hours, to their lunches, etc. And then, several of them were (wrongly) fired, and we all breathed a sigh of relief that we weren't included in those email chains. Don't get me wrong, we felt bad for those people, we were scared, worried that it could happen to us, but we started to realize that being part of the popular group isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

Those people were reinstated. Life moved on. And suddenly, I was included on those happy hours, lunches, and emails.

But in the interim, I learned a lot. Those people? Their lives aren't perfect. They are struggling with many significant life events. Divorce, separation, sick family members. They have all of those just like you and I. And a lot of what seems so glamorous isn't.

I'm watching someone I would consider a friend as they make choices that worry me. I sense an unhappiness in their life, and they're casting about, trying to find that "thing" that will make them happy. And the "thing" currently involves people and choices that I don't think are wise. But I've learned that it doesn't pay to share, or they just accuse you of being jealous. I'm just praying this doesn't blow up in their face.

And thanking my lucky stars that I've matured. That I've been able to see that being popular isn't what makes you happy.

Popularity? The only people I want to be popular with think I'm the greatest thing...their own super hero.

What a day...

2010-05-11T22:12:00.000-04:00

Things that made today interesting...

...Boris turned 1. I really need to use all the blog fodder he keeps giving me. He's a silly pup.
...We saw a "high speed" chase (okay, they weren't driving that fast really, but the cops were chasing them, and they weren't stopping.) on the road out in front of our development. I mean really...where do you think you are going to go?
...new orthotics for my shoes...hopefully my feet will stop hurting.
...the youth group at church possibly cancelling their mission trip because of safety concerns.
...Beau Biden had a stroke. This man is my husbands age. He spent a year in Iraq as part of my husbands unit. He has two young children. And I think we all stop and wonder. Him and his family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

updated

2010-04-29T12:34:00.002-04:00

Blogger has these new blog templates that allow you to really customize your blog. I love it! I've been feeling antsy to get out there and start planting, so this one spoke to me! What do you think?

Spring is here

2010-04-28T22:53:00.000-04:00

Our tree has lost it's bloom, which tells me summer isn't far away. Concerts and performances and award banquets are appearing on the schedule. We're moving forward.

Gardening, flowers, trips to the beach, walks around the neighborhood and time in the hammock...I'm ready for all of that and more.

My flower beds look neglected, our porch needs cleaned, painted and the screen fixed (thank you Boris.) This weekend, I plan on tackling a lot of these items.

The finish line is there...

2010-04-18T22:27:00.000-04:00

Turns out I knew what I was talking about when I wrote this post on the first day of school. This year has been a whirlwind...and I'm still hanging on for dear life. Bug has her license, although it is still in the graduated stage of having another adult driver in the car with her. I'm nervous about her driving by herself this summer, but I'm also ready for the break it will give me. Issy has aced her classes so far...and she's bored in some of them. Moving her up just isn't an option, so it's off to talk to the principal soon. Have to find some way to challenge her. Monster has found the key, and has realized that he can read. It's funny how excited I am about this. He is literally reading on his own in the car, reading signs, words on tv. His teacher asked for a conference last week just to tell us "wow! Whatever you are doing, keep it up!" I can't stress how big a break through this was for us...and what a load off my stress level it has been. We went from knowing less than 30 words to reading 92 words in a minute in 8 months.

Now we're in the "busy season" of the school year. Concerts, award ceremonies, etc will fill the schedule when there is blank time left from soccer, martial arts, and all those fun events. But then it will be over, and I will suddenly have a senior!!!!!

On Blogging and Emotions

2010-04-06T14:28:00.001-04:00

I started this blog 3 1/2 years ago. I was reading a few other blogs and found inspiration. Some of these bloggers were funny and witty, some moved me to tears, and some did both within one post. I found validation in reading about other people's struggles and joys. Other people locked their children in the back yard, struggled with tantrums, bodily fluids on the floor...I felt a sense of camaraderie.

I've never had a lot of readers or comments. After a few months, I had "the itch." I saw other people with 30, 70, hundreds of comments daily. I wanted that. Bloggers started getting sponsors, swag, give-aways, ad networks, and suddenly, I found myself antsy and unhappy with my blog. I wanted it to grow. I wanted comments, sponsors, etc. I vowed to blog every day for a year (and almost did.) I read blogs, commenting every where, signed up for an ad network...you name it, I was trying it. I was dissatisfied with my blog and contemplating quitting.

Then…burn out. My blog posting was sporadic, and when I did post, it seemed like I was doing was apologizing. I felt guilty for not posting, but didn’t feel like writing. And that cycle just kept growing.

During the last Holiday season, I had my own Epiphany. I didn’t want to be one of those bloggers…the ones that weigh everything they post with the click potential, that worry what their followers will think if that post that, the ones that aren’t any more than a character in a fictional story. That wasn’t why I started blogging, but I had lost sight of that.

So I set about releasing the guilt. I decided to spend more time living life, enjoying my children, modeling the behaviors I expect from them and less time worried about the computer. I stopped worrying about the reviews, give aways and such that I always felt I was missing out on. And I felt better.

But then…then, I felt the niggling again.

I’ve envied the people who were able to travel to Blogher, Mom 2.0, Blissdom, etc. for the last three years. Watching all the posts, tweets and status updates about swag and parties, all the fun they were having made me jealous. I wanted to be one of the cool kids that I saw in pictures. I wanted to go to the conferences, go to the parties, be inspired. I started trying to find the time and justify the costs. I would go to Blogher this year, period.

When Blogher put out their call for volunteers, I applied immediately. I waited, day dreaming about my experience, who I would meet…etc. Imagine my disappointment when I found out I hadn’t been chosen. And there was a little anger in there. Why wasn’t I good enough? I’d been in the ad network for quite some time. I had worked so hard…

The next day, a good friend told us they were getting married. In the Florida Keys, the same weekend as Blogher. And we were one of a few friends they were inviting.

Perspective. I’m sure I will still feel a twinge as I read about the great parties and swag, the connections and friendships. But I’ll be serving up my own connections and friendships, as well as enjoying a nice tropical breeze, instead of a hot subway.

And this blog? One day it might be the work of art I picture, but for now, it’s mine. And it’s just what I need.

I've been...

2010-04-01T22:58:00.000-04:00

driving, working, cleaning, playing with the dog, playing with my kids, crocheting, chatting with my hubby on line, going to a choir festival and a band festival, sick, walking the dog, raising a teenager, driving, going to martial arts, crocheting, cooking, cleaning, arguing with kids, meeting the internet, taking self-portraits, and...

just living life.

7 days make for a busy week

2010-03-23T23:16:00.001-04:00

So far this week, I've met the internet, explored ikea, threw a birthday party and not slept enough. One of these days, I'll find time to write about it. But DDS is away for a couple of weeks, so I'm it.

Welcome home Boris...

2010-03-15T23:44:00.001-04:00

We have a new member in our family. His name is Boris. He is 10 months old, and weighs 80 lbs...and pictures will be forthcoming as soon as he sits or stands still long enough.

Brightening up my day

2010-02-26T12:35:00.000-05:00

This morning, the day was quickly becoming one of "those" days. Numerous things, all minor, were piling up and making me miserable. I called my husband to whine, while driving through the slushly, nasty snow. I vented, and whined, and was not as nice as I could have been. Then I called my mom, and whined to her. I finally got to work, and I whined to my co-workers.

And then, I got a phone call to come to the front desk for a delivery.

My hubby had sent me these...

And suddenly, the day was brighter.

Now, we just need to remember to put in our request for the beach house in July, and life will be better.

Things I'm currently enjoying...

2010-02-23T11:41:00.000-05:00

Wow, where do the days go? I have a half dozen posts started, but don't seem to be getting them done. Argh.

That said, here a few things I've found that I love...

Ryan at Pacing the Panic Room did a cool maternity series when his wife Cole was pregnant...and now he has a new one going for a client. I love this whole concept in general, but the walk along the street adds something even cooler to it. I enjoy his other writing as well!

Amanda at Soule Mama. The beauty and simplicity of her photos...wow.

Moleskine notebooks and the blog related to all things Moleskine. I love that they have "hacks" and displays of so many cool uses. I hacked one of mine into a calendar and I'm actually keeping up with it. I love them, love them, love them.

What are you enjoying?

Happy 14th of February...

2010-02-14T22:10:00.003-05:00

This morning dawned bright and early...before the sun rose. At 5:30 this morning PB was crying hard in the bathroom with sharp pains in her lower abdomen and right lower back. After a quick discussion with a friend that used to be a nurse in our Pediatricians office, off to the ER room we went. I'm a night owl...I stay up way to late, and last night was no different. I was working on 5 or so hours of sleep...the roads still had large chunks of ice and it was freezing cold outside. And while driving there, she started singing along with the radio. A quick check confirmed that her pain threshold had lowered.

We rolled into the ER at 6:05, and were immediately triaged and placed in a room. Hope sprang into my heart. Oh, but it shouldn't have. Shift change occured, and apparently the overnight doctor was waiting for them to come in before seeing any new patients. The overnight nurse asked for a sample, and no one came to test it until the next shift came on. Finally at 8:30, the doctor came in, and he was very nice. Of course, by this time she was no longer in pain. The quick test came back negative for any UTI's. So after an exam, it was determined it was probably a muscle spasm or such,and we were finally sent home. We got home and I immediately left to pick up Bug from her return trip from Florida.

Brunch, gifts, school projects and valentines with Monster. Grocery shopping, dishes, laundry, cooking dinner. It was never ending, and I'm exhausted.

But my hubby did good and bought me a new piece of jewelry. And I did good and scheduled us to go get massages.

I hope you had a great 14th of February...I'm going to go to bed a little earlier tonight.

Let it snow? NO!

2010-02-13T21:40:00.003-05:00

For those of you that have lived under a rock for the last two weeks, it's snowed a little here in the Mid-Atlantic states this year. Our first big snowstorm came in December, a week or so before Christmas. Then again the second weekend in January. Again the last weekend of January, then the Blizzards hit. Over last weekend, we received approximately 3 feet of snow. No, that isn't a typo. 3 feet.

Hubby and I spent 3 hours Sunday shoveling our driveway and sidewalk, while the kids played hard in the yard. We created a small hill with all the snow, and they used skim boards to slide down. Schools and businesses closed Monday to allow people to finish all the shoveling and plowing. And then hubby was called to work.

Tuesday I worked from home in the morning, as the kids didn't have school again. Then we went shopping for last minute storm items...food and activities. As we came home that evening, the plows had finally come through, making it so we had to shovel our driveway out again. Then we all came in and prepared for the next wave. Wednesday morning I woke up early, ready to go to work. I looked out and there was an inch or two of new snow on the ground, but it didn't look so bad. I checked and found out work and schools were closed, so I went back to bed. I woke up a couple of hours later to our second blizzard. It was white outside...the house across the street was just a shadow through the snow! By late that night, another foot and half of snow had fallen. Schools announced they would be closed until next Tuesday, and work was closed.

Thursday dawned, and out I went to shovel. This time I was all alone, as hubby was still at work. 2 hours later, and the car was free and a spot was available for whenever he could finally get home. But the state was still in a State of Emergency and travel restrictions weren't lifted until 6 pm, so it was another day at home.

Finally on Friday hubby got to come home, and I went into work. I was never so excited to go to work...it was nice to talk to other adults again!

Now they're predicting another wave to hit Monday night, and possibly more next week. I'm so sick of snow. We are usually lucky to get a few feet the whole winter, and normally not until this time of year...and I know we aren't the only ones. Currently there is snow on the ground in 49 of the 50 states. But I really can't wait for spring to get here...I'm dreaming of sandy beaches and warm breezes!

DIY - Jewelry Holder

2010-02-11T23:24:00.023-05:00

In the last few years, I've developed a fondness for accessories...purses, shoes and jewelry. They can really make an outfit, and generally (with the exception of shoes) size doesn't really matter. I have quite a few shoes, although compared to many closets I've seen on House Hunters, I don't have many at all...lol. I have a dozen or so purses. But I have a ton of jewelry. I have a few pieces of nice, expensive jewelry that I keep in a jewelry armoire. But my day to day jewelry needed a better organization system. It was too big to add to the armoire, and not accessible enough. So, I decided to create my own system.

First, we found these great door pulls and hanging bars from Ikea (OMG, I love Ikea. Really, it's a sickness.)

Then, I purchased a length of board from a home improvement center and had my husband cut it down to 6 inch strips, and he drilled the appropriate holes for the handles to attach. He even fixed the back so the screws would be flush on the back. If I wasn't so impatient, he would have added strips to the back so that they could hang flush on the wall. But I'm impatient and didn't want to wait more days.

After all the items were together, I painted all the wood. It was easier to paint than to try and match it, and it was cheap wood, so I don't feel too bad about painting it.

Hmmm, just let me take a moment here to mourn the loss of my cheap Iraqi docking station. Sadly, it was no match for my son...sigh.

Anyway, these are for my room as well as my daughters room. I love the colors here...so cheerful! Once the paint was dry, I simply screwed the pulls on, and added a hanger on the back. I also chose to add ribbon to make it cuter, as you can see in the after pics below.

For the earring holder, I used an idea I found somewhere using Mr. Google. I'm sorry I forgot to book mark the site, but there were lots of them out there anyway. I simply put screen over the glass of a picture frame, and a piece of scrapbook paper behind it. You could also put fabric back there. Then simply slip the earrings through the holes of the screen. I hang my post earrings through a piece of ribbon below.

I love this system. My jewelry is always accesible and visible now, and it looks pretty as well!

Grace in small thing, version 2, #4

2010-01-27T11:01:00.000-05:00

I'm going to start posting my grace in small things post separately from any other post.

Today my grace is my family, and the safety and security I've been able to givve them.

Sorrows

2010-01-27T10:58:00.002-05:00

For so many, 2009 was a hard and difficult year. Jobs, houses, cars were lost. People struggled. We struggled with my husband being gone and his return, but mostly life was okay. The last part of 2009 and first month of 2010 have shown me so much sorrow. From our friends passing in October, so many more sad things have happened. It helps to put your life into shocking perspective.

In December, a pediatrician in a local town was arrested on charges of child molestation. The things that have come out are sickening and shocking. Knowing that you've driven past that office, wondered about the crazy stuff all over, that brings it even closer to home.

Right before Christmas, a young girl was abducted from her home where she lived with her aunt. The aunt's ex-boyfriend, a known sex offender, took the little girl. Police apprehended the suspect quickly, but it took them several days to locate her, and when they finally found her on Christmas day, she had been killed. This hit everyone hard...she is the same age as PB, and from all accounts a happy little girl.

There have been several attempted abductions in our school district in the last few months. All have happened when children were walking home alone, either from the school or the bus stop. Luckily, all the kids ran, yelled or resisted and were able to get away. But it feels like a ticking time bomb, waiting to go off. PB and Monster never ride the bus, as they go to school on the Air Base and I have to take them since we no longer live there. But occasionally Bug has to walk a short distance from the bus stop. She is 16, and almost an adult, but it still concerns me. We've talked to our kids, and make sure our house is locked and the alarm set if we aren't home, or if they are home without us. And we try not to live in fear, but are definitely more cautious.

And lastly is this little boy. Ethan's dad works at the same agency as I do, and although I don't know him well, I can not imagine the hell he has been living for the last 14 months. Unfortunately, it appears as if his time with Ethan is very short, and it breaks my heart.

I read a quote on a pop bands web page recently that related to how fast our kids are growing up these days. DDS and I have always tried to find a balance between allowing our kids to be children, while also instilling personal responsibility and an appropriate level of maturity in them. I'm finding it harder and harder to allow them some of the freedoms they need to grow, wanting instead to shelter them here at home. It's not always easy, but I'm trying.

Busy little bee

2010-01-21T22:40:00.000-05:00

In the last week, I've travelled to Baltimore, watched my husband look at a car while the guy selling blew up the motor, was overwhelmed at Barnes & Noble, got several DIY projects done here at home (a post coming about one of those), made breakfast for a week (recipe coming for this), made potato soup out of 15 lbs of potatos for work, went to bellydancing class, plus all the other things our life needs done daily. I'm pooped.

Today we did a soup sale to raise funds for Haiti. Our little section of 95 people managed to raise over $600...10 types of soup, donated bread and breadsticks, sold out in 20 minutes. It was an awesome turnout with some delicious food. And although it doesn't seem like much, it's something.

I've also started dabbling with learning code (finally...I know) so my site will hopefully begin to look better soon. Maybe. We'll see.

not a good start

2010-01-13T21:59:00.000-05:00

Two weeks in, and my laptop is in the shop again. I'm slowly dying without all my favorites. I know there are places I want to check in, but can't remember them all. My pictures, my photoshop, my itunes. I'm dying.

I have been using the time to work on my long time goal of learning how to redo my blog myself. I really need a better looking blog design. I want to update my blogroll and make some changes, but I'm too poor (and cheap) to pay someone to fix up my hobby. The sparse amount of money I get from this blog isn't enough to justify it at this time.

I was so cranky yesterday. I have a post brewing about loss, and I kept trying to remember how blessed I am. But it was really difficult. Today was better, but I still felt the crankiness trying to sneak back.

We purchased a Wii Fit Plus this weekend. I love it. I love that I can get some exercise while having fun. And the games aer pure silliness.

And there is more. But that's it for today.

Oh, blessing for today.

The ability and funds to have a nice haircut and order a pair of boots I've wanted for a while (on sale). So many can't afford to have niceties, and I'm blessed that I can.

And the birthday/holiday frenzy ends for a few more months...

2010-01-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

Today was my MIL's birthday. My SIL was taking her out to dinner, and we joined them, then drug her over to the big box home improvement store, not telling her where she was going or why. While there, we bought her a new dishwasher. It was probably better than a diamond ring. Hubby took it to her house and hooked up while I came home and got the kids ready for bed. He said she jumped up and down and squealed like PB when it was all done. That is the best money we've spent in a while. It was nice being able to do something for a member of the family that has always done for us.

Happy Birthday, Nana.

Grace in Small Things #2 - The joy a heartfelt gift can bring, and the joy you get from watching that other person's happiness.

cleaning out the old

2010-01-03T17:10:00.002-05:00

We have been on a major decluttering kick around here for the last few months, and it's continuing on today. As the Christmas decorations are removed, there is a realization that there are some things we've outgrown. They don't fit with our decorating scheme, and they don't hold the meaning for me that I thought they did. So some will go on ebay, and some will go to Goodwill. And our house will be a bit less cluttered for it.

The outside decorations may take a bit to come down...it's bitter cold outside, and DDS is on his way to pick up Bug from the airport.

I've slept way too much during the last week. Apparently I needed the sleep, as I'm just now starting to not yawn my way through the day. Hopefully I don't wipe out this week of sleep too quickly.

I'm not resolved...but I'm counting my blessings.

2010-01-02T23:06:00.000-05:00

So it's a few days into the New Year, and all over the internet people are posting their resolutions. This year, I'm not. I'm not posting, because I'm not resolving. I'm simply going to keep living life, loving my babies and my husband, and trying to live the healthiest and simplest life possible. This isn't anything new for me, so it isn't a resolution. It's the journey I chose several years ago, and sometimes I'm awesome at it, and sometimes I'm not. That's life, and I've learned to go with the tides.

The year of travel will continue. In the next three weeks, we will be in both NYC and Baltimore. We already have a spring trip to DC scheduled. DDS has to travel for work three or four times in the next 6 months, and we (or just I) may be meeting him some to explore new areas. I'm excited that our children are finally at ages to appreciate and enjoy exploring with us.

Projects will be completed, new projects started, days spent at home, days spent away. Every day I will awake and try to be the best person I can. Some days I will fail, and that's okay. My overall goal is to have more days that I succeed.

Happy 2010. I hope that we all enjoy each day we are given, and each blessing that falls in every day.

I'm going to modify my grace in small thing posting, and simply look for one thing...one blessing. And today, January 2nd, will be my first posting. I'm going to shoot for posting at least 4 a week, and if I manage more, great! My ultimate goal will be to have over 200 by the end of the year.

Today my grace is the ability to enjoy my family, and my friends. Bowling with my husband and youngest two kidlins was pleasant and fun. Then a night out with my friends that included good food and great conversation. That is a bountiful blessing!

He just gets better...

2009-12-27T15:05:00.000-05:00

Today is my hubby's 39th birthday. For so many years, he would get the "here's for Christmas and your birthday" speech from his relatives (not his mom and dad), and that just irks me. So I try every year to make sure he has separate gifts for both. Which would be easier to do if he didn't want such big expensive gifts...lol.

So today (or tomorrow...we are being total laze abouts here today.) we will be going to purchase a heater for his garage. Then he has a place to go to escape the crazy teenage girls we have living in this house.

Next year, we remodel that garage and create your favorite place to be.

I love you. Hope you enjoy your day all day today. And quit stressing about age...it's just a number, and we all know that you are only as mature as 29 instead!

Woot!

2009-12-07T21:44:00.000-05:00

My hubby is my hero. My laptop screen went wonky a few weeks ago, and the Geek Squad couldn't fix it, but he persevered and now it's good as new. Let's hope that I actually find some time to blog now! I have story about the doctor's office today, the frustration with my car, Christmas thoughts...got to get moving!

(Broken) stuff happens

2009-12-02T09:36:00.002-05:00

(I started this post a few months ago, and am now finally posting it.)

So the last few months have been a little busy around here, but the last month has really kicked my butt. And today I'm reaching my breaking point.

About a month ago, my power steering started to randomly go out in my car. My sweet little Chevy HHR that is only 3 years old. I was annoyed, because of course the warranty expired this summer. We called the dealership and made arrangements to bring it in for repair. The morning we were due to take it in, we found almost an inch of water on our passenger side floorboards, and the back seat was soaked. We took it in, and they called later that day to say that they found the leaves that were blocking a drain, and the car was better. We agreed to pay for them to clean the car so that the stains would be gone, and the mold and mildew wouldn't fester. The car had to stay there for a few days to have this done and have time to dry out in their bay.

A couple of days after retrieving the car, the power steering starts going out again. Call the dealership, take the car in. Two days go by, and they finally call to let us know that they have to replace the power steering motor/computer. They quote us almost $500. I was very frustrated, as the car isn't really old enough for these things to need replacing. So DDS gets on the web, then calls the Chevy customer car line. They agree that this is unfortunate, and agree to split the cost of the repair. I'm still annoyed, but at least feel as if they are taking care of us. A few days later, we find this article, and now I'm not so pleased. They call us to pick it up, and only charge us around $125. So we pay it, and move along. But now, I want to know why this wasn't a recall.

A few days go by, and a heavy rain came, and more water was found. We called the dealership and made another appointment. They sealed the area they thought the water was coming in through, and a day later we picked it up.

Fast forward a few more days...come out of the house at 6:45 in the morning and it's pouring. Get in the car with the three kids, and all of us automatically check the floorboards...1/2 inch of water. Drop the kids off, and head straight to the dealership. Body shop guy comes out, says, "oh, we didn't realize it was coming in back here", even though we kept trying to tell them that. Make another appointment. Take the car in on the appointed day.

They called my husband that night. They basically apologize out the wazoo, and state that after "testing to see where the water was coming in, and seeing how much and how fast, I'm suprised you were that patient."

All together, they only charged us $40 for the leaking. But we paid a lot for the detailing, and that bit for power steering. And I'm still not sure it's done leaking, because we haven't been able to get it truly dry to see if it's still leaking. But there aren't pools of water anymore, and I still love my little car.

Of course, during this time, lots of other things broke. My laptop screen broke. We took it to a blue and yellow store who accepted it, charged us $40, and then gave it back saying they couldn't get any parts for the brand and couldn't fix it (couldn't you have just not taken my $40 to begin with?) My husband was finally able to take it apart and fix it for $40 worth of parts (my hero!). Several other things broke during this time as well, and I was greatly frustrated. I'm hoping 2010 is much better.

What to say

2009-11-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm having a hard time working blogging into my life lately. I'm busy at work, super busy at home, and in the last week things have been starting to have "issues" all over the place. We had to take my car into the shop, my laptop is being all angsty, and so on...it's enough to make a girl cry.

One of my favorite bloggy people, Mrs. Wilson, took down her blog...SOB. Thank goodness I can still follow her in a few other locations. I'll miss you though!

Ahhhhh....

2009-11-16T20:56:00.002-05:00

DDS and I escaped to the mountains this past weekend and had a wonderful time away from it all. No kids, no family, no cooking, cleaning or remodeling. It was very nice. We enjoyed the nice fall weather, beautiful scenery, and remembering the last time we were in this same place. All in all, a very good weekend away.

Now it's back to the grind...time to finish all the remodelling and room changing going on here at casa de lang.

Taking a breather

2009-11-12T07:39:00.000-05:00

It sounds like a cliche, but I've been so busy living life, I haven't been writing. I haven't been on Twitter, my facebook status gets updated only every few days, and I'm not even really reading blogs. A big part of it is the basement remodel, which I will have pics to share soon. On top of that, we've had a birthday party, work, an honor's dinner for DDS, and numerous other things to handle. I'm tired, and escaping with my hubby for the weekend sounds glorious...which is what we are going to do. I'm hoping to dig out by Thanksgiving and find my house again.

Too much...

2009-10-27T22:47:00.000-04:00

I am on complete overload. Our friend was buried today, and Thursday another member of our guard family will be laid to rest. She had not been deployed with my husband, but was still a part of the Signal Corp and worked with many of these soldiers. These people are way to young to leave us, and the shockwaves are buffeting us all. To go to a war zone for a year and have no major injuries or loss of life, and to come home and experience two in a month is insane. I dread opening my military email, or hearing my husband answer the phone to a co-worker, worried that it's another call. And I'm trying to comfort him when I don't have the words to say. I know that time will begin to heal, but I see it taking some time.

In the meantime, we have taken on a huge endeavor to update our basement family/craft room. Paint and moving furniture has been therapeutic, and I'm trying to ignore the complete disaster my house is at this time. I guess I should try to finish putting clothes away tonight, seeing as how I still have my suitcase from Disney lying on my floor with clothing still in it.

Good night all.

Arlington

2009-10-22T23:11:00.000-04:00

Our friends funeral service is tomorrow. I've been sitting her tonight looking through all the pictures our friends and his wife have posted on Facebook, and the tears just won't stop. Not for him...he's beyond pain and unhappiness, no matter what you believe happens after death. But for his wife and kids. Tomorrow will be a long day, as his service is in another state, so there is travel in addition to the service itself.

He will be buried in Arlington next week. I most likely won't attend that ceremony. It feels weird to say that I will know someone buried in Arlington. This song by Trace Adkins keeps running through my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB76cYS8Ehw

Remembrance

2009-10-21T16:25:00.000-04:00

I strive to live in the moment, enjoying my family and my life for what it is today. This wars with my planning nature, which wants to extrapolate out all the possible scenarios for upcoming events, figuring out how I'll handle each one. It's hard to be in the moment when your mind is filled with what-if's.

Lately, I've been rushed and tired. I'm feeling torn in several directions...busy at work, and busy at home. When I'm home, I'm feeling guilty for what I didn't get done at work, and when I'm at work I just want to be home. I know that a large part of this is wanting time with my husband now that he's home, but knowing why you are feeling a certain way doesn't make it go away, or even make it better.

But last week, a co-worker of my husbands passed away at 36 years old. He leaves behind a wife and two small children, and a unit full of soldiers struggling to make sense of this event. He contracted spinal meningitis and died...by the time they knew what was wrong with him, it was too late.

Thinking about his wife and kids haunt me. Knowing that he spent a year in a war zone, and came home in some of the best health of his life, then 3 weeks later dying...how do you reconcile that? How do they go about their lives, living day to day, after the highs and horrible lows they've experienced in the last month?

Right before my husband was deployed, a person I considered a friend lost her husband to the war in Afghanistan. We had sort of lost touch, and I wasn't sure how to reach out to her. And I was scared, and facing her lost meant dealing with the fear of losing my own spouse as he was leaving. I still regret not following up with at least an email. She recently friended me on facebook, and I'll be sending my feelings out to her.

I found myself frustrated with my son this morning, and so ready to drop him off at the Youth Center. And suddenly, this soldier's face flashed into my head. I am so very blessed, and lately, I've let myself forget that. I made sure to hug my baby extra tight when dropping him off, saying a prayer that I'll get to do this millions of times in the future.

God blesses every day, it's up to us to notice.

GIS # I don't know, but it's time to get back on track
1. My husband came home from the war.
2. He's relatively healthy.
3. He never saw heavy combat.
4. My family is intact again.
5. My children's laughter and hugs.

Coming home

2009-10-17T13:51:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting at the Orlando airport, waiting for our plane to board. It's been a good vacation, but it will be good to be home. Even with the cold rain.

Photo journal, day 1

2009-10-14T22:14:00.000-04:00

The reason for all the hooplah when my hubby's unit came home. This is the Vice President's car. I have lots more to tell, soon.

Living Life

2009-10-13T11:25:00.000-04:00

Hi friends. I'm living my life large here. Right now, here is Disney World. It's amazing how little you want to be on a computer when you haven't been a full family for a year...lol. And now we are all celebrating at the House of Mouse. We'll return to regularly scheduled posting once we return from the house of mouse.

Thanks.

Counting down and updates...

2009-09-23T22:19:00.000-04:00

We aqre a little excited here in casa de mamalang...my husband will be home in the next week. This long, long year is coming to an end, and we are all ready to move on as a family. But there are a lot of other things happening here as well!

PB had her teeth pulled last Tuesday, and she came through like a champ. She has to have a palate expander put in soon, and had to have some of her upper baby teeth removed so that the adult teeth could start coming in. I feel a bit bad, as chewing is a little difficult, but she's doing great. They sedated her to make her more comfortable, and the thought of her under anesthesia still makes me want to cry.

I bought this cool plate from Bethany and she added this cool cupcake into the mix. The kids love that cupcake. Monster uses it to pretend to hypnotize us...and the colors are Bug's favorites! Thanks Bethany!

Monster is moving up to a Yellow Belt this weekend...Yay Monster.

PB's birthday party was last weekend. A post will be coming about that soon.

Please, be patient with the light posting...I'm trying to fit everything in while getting to see my hubby :)

And everything falls apart now...

2009-09-14T22:34:00.000-04:00

So...hey there internets. How's the parenting gig working out for you? Cause I'm sort of sucking at it lately. Well, really, only one thing, maybe two, but dang it, I'm tired.

I've managed to hold our household together for the last 11 months. I've fixed (or arranged for someone to fix) broken appliances, lights, etc. I've stayed on top of my children's schedule, making sure they did their work, got to bed on time, ate mostly good food, had all the permission slips and papers for school, doctor and dental appts made, and so on. And I've done well so far. Until school started.

We are in the 4th week of school. So far, I've forgotten to give one child lunch money one day, manged to get only one of them in bed on time regularly, fed them more non homemade food than in any given 4 month period before, had a child left at horse back lessons, lost both of my military ID's on the same day (they were found the same day) and been late to a million and one things. But today, today topped it all.

I forgot school picture day for Monster. Luckily, they still snapped a shot of him, and all is not lost. Cause retakes? They are scheduled while we are in Disney.

And tomorrow, my PB gets five baby teeth removed while under anesthesia. My SIL is going with us to sit in the room with her, because I'm afraid I'll freak out while she's getting sedated. Seriously, my stomach has been in knots and I've been on the verge of tears for the last 3 weeks just thinking about it. I prayed they would fall out, or at least loosen, on their own. One did fall out (it was originally 6) and several have loosened, but it isn't enough. I'm stressed and trying to hide it.

But you know what? I was the only parent in Bug's Chemistry class at open house tonight. Guess I'm not failing as bad as I thought.

But thank goodness my husband is home in less than 3 weeks. The brain is short circuiting from the overload, and I need the help.

Remembering September 11th, 2001

2009-09-11T21:54:00.000-04:00

I very rarely really try to think about that day. I try to avoid the articles and such. But this year, something was different. I don't know if it's because my husbands been overseas serving in the war that began in some way after that day, or if it's just been long enough. After reading a few of those articles, I felt compelled to remember, and record my thoughts and memories of that day.

My husband had an appt in another town that morning. We were living with my MIL and I was driving Bug to school in our old town 20 minutes way every day. PB was in home daycare and Monster wasn't even thought of existing at that time. That's hard for me to grasp when I think about that day...we didn't even know he would exist. He's never lived in the world the way it was before 9/11/2001. That makes me pause, and really think.

I was at work. We didn't have television access, and our internet access was extremely limited. I worked in a call center as a telephone rep. Someone's spouse called, and we all began to hear. The conversations on the calls we were taking were surreal. DDS called me to tell me he was on his way back and he was watching planes leave the Air Force Base one right after the other...we have large cargo planes, they don't do that. He knew then something was very wrong. We agreed he would stop and get Bug and PB and take them home, and stay in contact with me. All the information w received that day was second hand. They finally closed the office around lunch time and sent us all home.

I was terrified that our Air Force Base would be a target. I was terrified that my husband would be asked to leave home and fight. I worried about what sort of world we were all going to be living in for the rest of our lives.

I didn't watch the planes hit, the towers burn or their collapse while it was happening, since I was at work. And I'm thankful for that fact. By the time I was able to see the footage, I had already heard and digested what happened. While the images were still shocking, I knew what was going to happen. And after seeing it once, I didn't need to witness it again. We tried to keep the girls away from the news, letting them watch cartoons and videos all afternoon and evening.

I remember walking around the neighborhood that afternoon with the girls. It was so peaceful. The sky was blue and cloudy, and it was eerie to look up and not see a plane flying overhead. We see so many planes here that you stop noticing them after a while...but that day you noticed their absence. It seemed as if even the birds had been grounded. The traffic was so light, it was almost as if we were truly some of the only people left.

I remember the patriotism of the next few weeks. I remember the feeling of pride. But mostly, I remember the fear. My husband had been put on alert, preparing him to go to war. But I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, or say anything. Every time my phone rang, I jumped. I had long conversations with myself, trying to prepare for that call. When people asked if he was getting called up, I had to lie and say we hadn't heard anything. This went on for months...even after we did start the attack. We were on call.

But eventually, I realized that I had to stop thinking about it constantly. I had to live life in my new normal.

Several months later we moved onto that Air Force Base. My children began going to school and daycare on that base. And every night I prayed. We moved off that base, but my children still go to school there. I still pray.

counting down

2009-09-09T22:43:00.000-04:00

I feel as if I am counting down for a million things right now. My hubby is coming home soon, my daughter is turning 11, we are going to Disney, we are celebrating making it through 12 years of marriage (really? 12? wow...), and Bug's 16th birthday. That's all in the next 6 weeks. And that doesn't include the counting down I'm doing just to get through each day.

A sample of our schedules this week...
Meet with Monster's teacher after school at 4:00
Pick up Monster from after school care at 4:50
Pick up PB from field hockey at 5:00
Hope MIL remembered to pick up Bug from Marching Band at 5:10, while driving PB to Horseback riding lessons, which start a 5:30. Drop her off, reminding her that MIL is picking her up.
Drive Monster to Martial Arts at 6:05
Martial Arts over at 6:35, head to MIL's for dinner. Realize she forgot she had to pick up PB, so run there to pick her up.
Finally sit down to eat dinner at 7:30. Take everyone home, get them ready for bed, good night.

This is also the week that we start leaving the house very early. PB has to be at school by 7:00 for band and choir, and Bug by 7:15. I spend almost 13 hours away from my house every day this week and next, and all I want is to shut the front door and cry uncle.

So I'm here, and as always, my head is spinning. Several Presidential Speeches, Japan, military life...you name it and it's there. But it has to wait, as I have to go to bed now.

The President Speaks

2009-09-04T13:26:00.000-04:00

I am not a very political person. The state of politics in our country these days makes me sad and anxious, and there are too many other things in my life to deal with day to day to worry any more.

But I feel compelled to write about the President speaking to our school children next week. This came up on my radar earlier this week, and after reading the "lesson plan" that the DOE suggested, I was against it. Questions like these:

What specific job is he asking me to do?
Is he asking anything of anyone else?

make me wonder what his intent is going to be. But I am not content with just one side of the story, so I did some research. And I still had concerns.

The next day, the questions/lesson plans had been updated, and a transcript was offered so parents could read and speak to their children about the speech. People are still warring, calling for schools to ban the video, blaming teachers for promoting "Obama's socialists ideals." Hello over-dramatics.

And this whole incident demonstrates the low levels that we as a country have sunk. When I was in school, if the President of the United States was willing to speak to all students, we would have been in awe. My mom and I would have spoken about it, and we would have moved on. If there was name calling and such going on, I was blissfully unaware of it. But now, my children know. They know that some people think he is trying to turn us into a socialist state, and they know that some people hate him because he's black. They know that Sarah Palin was attacked about clothing choices, and that she's cute. They understand that people oppose the war, and that many Americans thought Obama would save us all.

But a lot of that information comes in the form of sensationalism. Name calling, finger pointing, mudslinging. These are the things my children see in politics. It's hard to teach your children to live the Golden Rule (do unto others...) when the people they see and hear on television aren't following that rule, especially the people we've elected to lead our country, state and city.

I struggle to truly understand what anyone is proposing these days. We spend so much time trying to filter what all the talking heads spew out, trying to unspin the truth from the web. You know how to convince me your plan works? Use the KISS method. Keep It Simple Stupid. Bullet points, summary paragraphs, plain words, etc. Provide me the basics. Provide me places to go to ask questions, find answers, etc. Get rid of the yelling, sensationalism, etc, and just let the plans speak for themselves.

How about we all take a deep breath. Let your child watch the President's speech. Then sit down with them that night, and discuss it with them. Share your views and thoughts about the comments. Tell them why you agree or disagree. Ask them for their opinions. They might suprise you with how insightful they are. After all, they are the future of our country, and I'm hoping that they find a way to stop the system of politics we have now, and learn to work together to make us the great Country we used to be, instead of the laughing stock we've become in the last 20 years, under both Democrat and Republican leaders.

Mommy blogger, or just a blogger?

2009-09-03T07:43:00.001-04:00

The controversy of Dooce and Maytag, day 9.

Okay, so this was actually (finally) becoming old news, and then Forbes posted this brief story. And it was temporarily re-ignited. And then (I think) it's died down again. But I'm behind since this week has kicked my butt, and I have to comment on the Forbes post.

Parmy Olson wrote an article about Dooce tweeting her dissatisfaction with Maytags service. (For those that live under a rock, Dooce is big. She's become a pop-culture figure (at least for most social media people), and people listen to her. Not all of them have the ability to think for themselves, which is the case any time you mix a million people together.) Dooce was angry and tweeted about the lack of customer service, and included phrases like "Do not buy Maytag." This tweet bothered some people. They sympathized with her plight, but were concerned about her tone. And of course, people began to retweet, and soon, it was big. And Maytag called her and her washer got fixed and another company wanted to give her a new washer and dryer and all's well, right? Well, not quite.

When you throw out a tweet (or any public statement) in anger, and you have a million followers, you have to think of the repercussions. You may credit most of your readers with having a brain that allows them to think for themselves, but not all of them do. And the potential to drastically impact a company is real. And there was no background information given during this tweeting frenzy, no explanation of how much she had gone through. A few days later, she posted about the whole episode, and I agreed she had every right to be angry. (Although I really wanted to comment with "have you ever heard of a laundry mat" several times while reading the post.)

But this isn't just about this one tweet incident. This is about the responsibility we all have. Yes, that organization needed to give her better customer service. And she achieved getting that service, and scored a new washer and dryer for a shelter in the process. Our responsibility is to realize that there is a greater story here. That 3 months of non-working washer sucks, but why hasn't it been working? What has the company done to fix it? Did a mouse disconnect a wire? We didn't know the whole story. It turns out in this instance, she had been trying to get something fixed that wasn't her fault, but what if it was?

During Blogher conference, apparently there was a woman who tweeted about Nikon not allowing her to bring her baby into their party, held at a bar. She tagged it with something like "Nikon hates babies" and immediately people began retweeting. But many of those people didn't know the whole context. She made an assumption about what would and wouldn't be allowed, and she was wrong, and then she tweeted about it in jest. That doesn't mean Nikon hates babies. But that one tweet could cause the business harm.

We've all said something we've regretted. Nowadays, we need to be even more diligent in thinking before speaking (or typing) as our words have a greater potential to reach a larger audience.

All of that isn't even the point I wanted to make with this post. Sorry for the tangent.

My real point is the article itself, and statements made in the article. This one made me mad..."in the so-called mommy blogosphere (ie. the thousands of blogs penned by stay-at-home moms, and it's larger than you think)..." First of all, it "sparked a debate" in the blogosphere in general. The people discussing this weren't just "mommybloggers." But what really pissed me off was the ie statement.

Excuse me? There are so many amazing bloggers out there today. Some of them are mothers. Some of them are fathers. But they are also, husbands, wifes, girlfriends, boyfriends, aunts, uncles and cousins to name a few. There are people who work in marketing, writers, firefighters, students and many more. None of us should be defined by one title. And to insuate that only women who stay at home and pen a blog cared is demeaning. It demeans those women who do choose to stay home. It demeans those people who don't, but still cared.

Moms are not the "little women staying home with the kids while their husbands go to work and pay the bills" anymore. Moms' go to work, whether they do it in an office or at home. They buy cars, they decide what insurance to carry, they make travel arrangements, they live busy and full lifes, just like other people that aren't mom's do. But marketing firms and the general media seem to be missing the boat lately. They are playing up a stereotype that they created, and it isn't valid any longer. Yes, I wonder how many cup holders my vehicle has in it. But that isn't a reason I will use to determine what I buy. How roomy is it? How many miles to the gallon does it get? How safe is it? That's what matters to me. And when you treat me with the respect that I deserve, you'll get my business.

Wordless (well Nearly) Wednesday

2009-09-02T23:11:00.004-04:00

It is only the 6th day of school and so far this school year is kicking my butt.

And I'd really like to go back to this enjoyable night right now.

I've been to a Swedish wonderland and a circus today

2009-08-30T23:56:00.002-04:00

No, really. I made my first trip to Ikea today. Oh my goodness...it's a good thing that the closest one is an hour away. Seriously. I'm in love. I bought this, and this, and these among other things. I got some ideas for my updated craft area, and can't wait to take my husband there when he gets home. Oh, and the swedish meatballs meal was to die for. Yuuuuummmy, and cheap. 4.99 and I was full.

Then we headed over to watch Britney Spears Circus tour. As long as you remembered that it was a show, not a concert, it was really good. I have pictures to add, but they will have to wait until tomorrow. Now it's time for bed.

Linky love and Random Thoughts...

2009-08-27T15:51:00.002-04:00

I posted a new giveaway over at my review blog. Seriously, you could win! Odds are good!
I tweeted about a real estate agent carrying her dog while showing houses on House Hunters last night. I now have around 10 new followers, all Real Estate Agents. I'm not looking for a house...Seriously.
We're going to see Brittany Spears ~~Saturday~~ Sunday (we being my girls, my sil and I). I'm not sure how I feel about this, other than thank goodness they were free tickets or we wouldn't be going. We are also going to Ikea, which I have never been to. I'm excited about that!
My husband is coming home in the next 60 days. At last. And we go to Disney just after that. YAY!
I forgot to adjust my alarm for school time, then slept through it when it did go off. That meant that I woke up as we were supposed to be leaving the house. I still managed to get everyone to school on time, and I am showered and dressed appropriately. I had to buy lunch, and I was 30 min late, but all in all I'm good.

It's official, I will be losing my mind this school year

2009-08-26T22:08:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day of school for PB and Monster, and tomorrow Bug begins. What you, dear reader, may not realize right away, is the fact that I will now have a child in all three levels of school. I have a first grader, sixth grader, and 11th grader. My supply list runs the gamut from crayons and glue sticks, to binders and dividers, all the way through a drivers permit!

Monster has been so excited about first grade. Mostly because of his lunch box, which we purchased last year. This morning, he asked me how long it was until lunch. When I asked what his favorite part of the day was, his answer was lunch, then recess, then music class. He definitely has his priorities set. Tomorrow is Art. That will blow his mind, I'm sure. It's amazing to me to see his sense of style evolving as well.

Because my little Monster was so resistant to learning how to read last year, he has been placed in the Literacy First class this year. I choose to see this as a blessing. He is smart, and I know that once the right key is turned, reading will become a fun and exciting subject for him. And this class has the potential to do this for him. It is a smaller class (only around 16 students) and they focus more attention on reading, writing and such. However, I am unhappy with how the school year began. In years past, the day before school you could go and meet your child's teacher during lunch time. This year, state employees (this would be me as well) had our pay cut by 2.5%. To soften the blow, the Legislator gave us all 5 paid furlough days. In order to reduce the cost burden, teachers lost in-service days to cover these days. This means that teachers only had the day before to arrange their rooms and prepare for the first day, unless they wanted to do it on their own time. That morning was spent in meetings, leaving them only a few hours to set up their rooms. When we were invited in to find classrooms at 4 pm, most teachers had already gone home. While I understand why, it's still frustrating. I don't try to use that time as more than a few minutes of introduction, but a few minutes of understanding what this classroom entails would have been very helpful. Instead, I will be emailing his teacher tomorrow to ask some questions. This means she has to find the time to answer me during the school day, instead of having a few minutes the day before.

I'm also upset as I don't feel that he was given the Speech Therapy that he required last year, and this year I will be fighting early for this. He pronounces his leading L's as Y's, and it's impeding his spelling/reading abilities.

PB began Middle School. Yesterday we did get our time to travel her schedule and work her locker (a bunch of times.) She briefly met her teacher, ad her classes are grouped together well. One of her best friends has all but one class with her, she's getting gym out of the way first semester and it's the last class of the day, and she's excited. Basically, that is pretty much all we can ask. She asked her sister about her outfit yesterday a bunch of times. Bug told her that it was a lot of patterns, but she could pull it off. And I think she did.

Come back tomorrow for an exciting announcement :) (no, I'm not pregnant.)

When Politics land in your own backyard.

2009-08-20T23:22:00.003-04:00

Loralee's post about her conversation with Valerie Jarrett regarding healthcare reform has won her space on the White House Page. This is amazing. How wonderful that a normal, ordinary American Citizen, has been given the chance to share her story.

Her post and the comments have really made my mind begin to tumble around. A post is coming. I've held back from posting anything that could be potentially controversial as it's not what I intended for this blog. But I feel a need to share. You've been warned.