Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Summer of yes.

Over the last year and a half, I've taken a hard look at myself and my life.  I live a good life, with sweet kids and loving husband.  I have a decent job and a nice house.

But somewhere along the way, I lost me.  I created a new me, but she wasn't actually all me.  Parts of her were what I thought an adult, a mother, a wife should be.

When I had babies, I stopped wearing all the jewelry because it got in the way.  And over time, it just became natural to not wear it.  I wore more conservative clothes, because I wasn't comfortable in my skin, and I didn't want to draw unwanted attention.  Mothers aren't like that you know.

I kept some activities for me, but my life revolved around my family.  I gave up opportunities and fun times to be there for my kids.  And I don't regret that at all.  I love and adore my children, and they deserve parents who are present.

But sometimes, those parents should get to be their own person, not just someone's mom.

I turned 40 this year, and maybe some would say I'm having a midlife crisis.  I decided I was living the summer of fun.  The summer of yes.

I have made plans with friends, gone to concerts and the beach, I'm getting another tattoo, and I've colored my hair crazy colors.  I'm wearing my crazy bracelets and went to Warped Tour with my teenager.  I'm listening to music I used to love and just generally rediscovering that person I used to be.  I'm still there for my kids, and I'm still responsible at work.  I'm just re-prioritizing my spare time.  And me.

I'm trying to teach my kids to be their authentic selves, and to live their life to the fullest.  But they won't learn that lesson if I continue to pretend, and play it safe all the time.

So this summer, I'm saying yes.